Why wont he be intimate with me?

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Hey! I just want to say upfront...I've never had a child...so take my advice with a grain of salt, but it sounds like you guys need couples therapy. I think it's normal for sex to slow during and after pregnancy (bringing a baby into the relationship is a big change! for both of you!), but for it to stop completely...something important is definitely off. You should fix it sooner rather than later, because men need sex and he may start to look elsewhere... Good luck!

Don't give up!I agree with dappled.

I think you should show him that your the same girl you were before becoming a mother. Make sex exotic and different. Get a sexy lingerie outfit that you know will blow his mind. Be promiscuous and playful. Try new things! Your still the same amazing girl you were before the baby so don't lose hope!

Congratulations about your new addition, by the way :)

Forewarn you this will be long: I have been in this situation so bare with me, I know how your feeling... There could be a number of things happening here and the above poster is right you may need therapy to find out, but try this out first. He could be in shock still from having a baby, this is a life changer and he might not have realize all the changes a baby comes with ESPECIALLY in the beginning when no on is sleeping, he could be so preoccupied with adjusting that he has lost some of his desire for now. In addition he might not see you in a sexual manner right now bc (I'm assuming) he just watched you deliver a baby, some men hold a dear respect for that or he cohorts been a little weirded out. Either way he may not see you as a sexual girl right now, he still has the desire since he looks at porn, so try this out have the baby stay at a grandparents house (or trusted friend) and surprise him with a romantic night (whatever that looks like for you two) whether thats cooking him a romantic dinner or a date, something to help bring back the connection. The key is WITHOUT the baby in the house, so he can't use "we'll wake the baby as an excuse". You can really go from there and see what is going on with him. Also he could be feeling neglected lame as it sounds men are sensitive and before the baby I'm sure your world revolved around him. It's not uncommon for men to get jealous when a baby arrives because your whole world revolves around the baby. It's pathetic but again not uncommon (it's again adjusting). So a romantic date can help show that he is special. Are you going through post partum (sorry spelling) or baby blues? Just wondering in case maybe your going through a little depression. Lastly and I hate to even mention this to a new mother, but always listen to your gut, my ex after I had our son cheated on me, he was wonderful and even after I had the baby he was great and spoiled us, but our relationship changed from being free spirited to having responsibility and he coward out. So when our son was 9 months I left. I hate bringing that up bc I knw as a new mom how sensitive you are, and don't just automatically assume that, but don't ignore if there are signs either. Sorry so long but bare with him if he is adjusting to this new adventure of parenthood

This sounds like what my wife and I went through after our first child. Relax, he does still love you maybe even more than before. I have no idea why I was not wanting sex but it all got back to normal with time. Let him know that you are concerned but don't nag him about it. My wife was awesome about it and I'm glad she put up with me through this. That was about 9 years ago, I love her more than ever and we have sex about 3 or 4 times a week.

Watch some porn with him to spice things up. Hope it all works out for you

Psychologically, you have changed from being his lover to the mother of his child. It's common amongst men and, like most things with men, doesn't often get talked about. It needs to be talked about honestly and openly if you want to get back to where you used to be.

Sorry for grammar mistakes iPhone and darn auto correct ;)

You're absolutely justified in feeling this way. However, unfortunately I also agree with many other posters that men are generally like that immediately after becoming a father.

This is a life-changing moment for him and for the first time in his life, he will realise his purpose in life and now it will all be about the baby. I don't have children and even then when I meet my nieces, I ignore my brother and my sister-in-law and go straight for the children. That's jsut the way men area.

What you need to do is firstly to speak to other new mothers and see how they're coping with it. You'll feel much better knowing that you're not alone in this. They might have some great advice for you. I will never pretend to think I know what it's like being a new mother, but I CAN advise you to speak to others who have gone through the same experience. Who knows, you might make some life-long friends in the process. Don't give up on your husband. It's just a phase.

If the child looks like you, it would obviously put him off sex.

This is the real reason sex stops in marriages I think. It's more normal than most think but no one ever tries to fix it.

hi there,thank you for all our helpfull comments,we have had sex a rare handfull of times since and it was passionless,he would tell me that day that we would have sex that night and think that this would keep me happy but i know its only to passify me,its like a dental appointment and i hate it,there are plenty of times that he is on facebook instead of using his time to be with me and this upsets me even more,i am finding myself becomming very depressed,i dont want him to feel like its a chore i want him to want me....how do i do this?talking isnt working either...why is he being like this??

He's fucking around on you, no doubt. The other girl is hot and he doesn't want to look at you naked. It happens all the time. It is diagnosed differently because counselors have no idea how often people cheat on each other. Find yourself another outlet or file for divorce.