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Why won't my girlfriend dress like a girl?
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I have been dating a girl for about three years. We met we were finishing college, and things have been going pretty well since then. I am really attracted to girls that are, well, girly. I like when I see a girl in a dress or skirt, heels, etc. My girlfriend, however, refuses to wear anything beyond jeans, t-shirts, and birkenstocks. When she really dresses up, she wears khakis with brown leather flats. I ask her to dress more like a girl, and she says my expectations are too high - is she normal?
Is It Normal?
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Comments (43)
She's just wearing what she wants. If you wanted a perfect girly girl, you shouldn't have gone out with a tom boy.
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My boyfriend has told me the same thing. In the beginning, yes i did wear cute clothes that got his attention, but the keeper was my personality, hes told me. Weve been together for 3 years just like u guys.


u gotta understand, this is coming from a female, fashion and comfort do NOT go together. It is very very uncomfortable to be wearing high heels, a thong, and tight skirts, all this girly clothes, can be uncomfortable.


you have to retouch your makeup every hour, brush your hair every hour, to keep that feminine image. Lets be realistic who can do that with our busy lives. alot of guys are in awe of beauty but have no idea the work females go through for it


im sitting in my sweatpants typing this comfortable as hell, and i wouldnt be wearing a tight pencil skirt for the sake of being eye candy. sorry!


unless im going out on a date
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To the OP. Look, she presented herself as casual all-day-every-day. You really don't have much standing to ask her to change. She basically told you from day one: This is who I am. You would be okay asking her to dress up a little on special occasions perhaps, but that's about it I think.

To crimson, this is a little bait-and-switch to me. I think women, rightly, often complain that men wine and dine them at first and then once we "catch" the girl, we don't try anymore. I've seen that often. But it's almost always tied to the girl not trying on her end either. It's like this general collapse of "trying" in the relationship and both sides are guilty of it.
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The only thing abnormal about this situation is that you haven't left and found a girl you're actually attracted to. She's fine as she is. Don't change her, choose another girl who likes dressing girly.
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Hey.

Think about it for a second. This may be a tough issue for your girlfriend. I know this may bother you, but consider if she might have some insecurities about the clothes she wears. Or maybe it's not her style.

I understand men are very 'visual creatures' and love to see thir lady wearing a nice dress, leather jacket, whatever. If this really bothers you, AND you and your girlfriend are open to talking to eachother, bring it up, but don't be mean about it. There's a fine line at which you shouldn't cross. Good luck mate.
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Budthewise
My current fiance is a farm girl so she fits what you wrote to a "T." However, we do work on this and that and she does dress like she is used to on informal times. However, like I said before, we talk this out and comprimise.

On the hindsight, she hates my professional outfits and would like nothing more than to see me in jeans all of the time. So, I dress up for school and around the house, I wear the jeans she likes.

IN ALL RELATIONSHIPS - IT IS GIVE AND TAKE AND YOU MUST BE OKAY WITH THIS CONCEPT OR YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BE ALONE. There is no way around that, compromise or be alone, there is just no other option.
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Ha, I'm the same way.
I'm always wearing jeans and a tee.
But, I'm willing to compromise for my boyfriend.
He just has to find something to do for me in return.
Compromise, yo.
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@: EhhMoo
That's a good point. If you truly care for eachother, comprimise. But in the meantime, do you love her for her personality, or care more about what shes wearing?
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you think she's hot? who cares then
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Let her wear whatever she wants.
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How is she not normal? Just because she dresses like a tomboy doesn't mean she doesn't fit in with normal. She's normal.
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she's definitely normal, jeans, t-shirts & sneakers ARE girls' clothes these days

high heels are uncomfortable and can be a health hazard, and skirts can make girls feel more self conscious, it's understandable and NORMAL for her not to wear them
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My girlfriend and I have been dating for five months. When we met I was not attracted to her at all because of her masculinity both in her actions and choice of clothing. However, as time when by I began to like her. She has the greatest personality and she treats me so well. Now I absolutely love her and I like her.

Still I have issues, not with her masculinity but with how she dresses. All she owns are shorts and T-shirts; ugly ones at that. She has no sense of what I would call fashion. Her beauty is unconventional and I love it. She has a great body, yet she really looks bad due to her choice of clothing. We've spoken about her wardrobe and she is willing to try new things. However, I feel somewhat shallow because this issue. The problem is not hers, it's mine. She didn't care about what she wore until she met me.

Therefore, I am torn. I do love my girlfriend and will not leave her over this issue. However, I do wish she was more pleasing to my eyes. I promised her I'd never ask her to do two things: wear makup or high heels. I believe if a woman does not want to wear those two items, they shouldn't have to.

The upside to all this is, even though she is very beautiful, guys don't hit on her because she hides it so well, lol. Plus, it doesn't take her 2 hours to get ready when we go out. That to me is worth its weight in gold.

So, am I being shallow for asking my girl to dress more pleasing to me? Or, is THAT normal?
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If you can't accept for who she is, then go away.

You do more harm than good trying to change her or coax her into fitting some imaginary role you've constructed.

Did you ever stop to think that being in "girl drag" feels fake to her? That she prefers to be herself and that she loves you enough to not want to present you with something that is not absolutely genuine? You you change the way you dress for her? or what your style is like? I bet not.

If she has to put on a show for you to be comfortable - then maybe you should look in the mirror at the problem.
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Highly appropriate name for this tread.
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You obviously must like her personality and/or attitude, plus I'm assuming she's physically attractive to you or you wouldn't still be with her. Think of "Hot Donna" from That 70s Show, she wasn't really girly, but still really hot. Some girls don't like to be in the "submissive" girly role...it just isn't them. They think girly Abercrombie girls are lame or they just outright dread putting on a dress because of what it implies..like, weakness, ditziness, trying too hard, etc. However, it wouldn't kill her to try a little harder for her man on occasion. It's good to accept someone for who they are and I can only assume she accepts you as you are 100%, but it wouldn't kill her to spice it up once in a while just for you.
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I think you should leave her. I'm the same way as she is and I had dated shallow guys like you. For the better you should leave if you dont like her the way she is.
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I don't see why she wouldn't want to look like a girl. It's a good feeling. I'm a jeans and hoody kinda girl but if I'm going to go out I'll wear a nice dress and a cute pair of flats.
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Try to compromise. Maybe she will occasionally dress girly if you dress the way she wants at the same time, or take over more chores or something. I hate how hard it is to get a girl to do what you want sometimes.
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Um, grrls r getting a lot tougher than guys these days its like step aside. We dont do the skirt crap anymore. We like it simple. Another reason- What if the wind blows it over ure head? that wud be embarrassing.
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I know what you mean.
The other day I was at a bus stop and when the bus arrived the guy in front of me was looking for a wall to stubb his cigarette out on. The girl he was with just stubbed hers out on the thigh of her denim jeans. My girl has even pinched her cigarette out with her bare fingers.
I think girls are getting harder all the time!
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Budthewise
That is truly sad though. In your search to become an equal you are giving up your one strenght above men, being an attractive female.

I am a sensible guy and would love to have equal rights for everyone. Unfortuantely, it does not work this way and please just accept that.

Would you be happy if your fiance, or boyfriend just woke up and put on a dress? Would you still be okay with who he is or would this be a relationship-ending odeal?
Same thing back to women, we as a gender do not like dykes for wives or even stable girlfriends. Please dress the part or die unhappily married to a piece of trash or die alone with your cats.
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The problems yours, I think. I kind of admire that kind of fashion deviation in women.
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Are you dating Sam from iCarly?
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sexybi
come date im sure my girly clothes go with your carpet
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Ollieo
I think there is something wrong with the approach you are taking: questioning her taste, and, her femininity. I suspect she has been pretty good about it - even though what you are suggesting is pretty insulting.

I don't think she wants you as fashion consultant or to play dress up. If however you fine tune your interest to her tastes, you may find a way of supporting her w/o being patronizing.
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Budthewise
@: Ollieo
I mostly agree with this person. However as her boyfriend, you are allowed your comments and she will respect them because she respects you. If she had to pick between dressing up like a more attractive girl or having you leave, which would she pick.

However, if she would rather not be feminine, are you willing to leave or just be okay with her. The best part of my current fiances relationship with me is we both have gone beyond this petty crap.

Somedays, when we go out she wears not only bad clothing picks but it is often dirty and fugly looking. However, when we go someplace nice or out for a good night, I get her to dress up like she does in my profile. If you look on the last link, you can see the differences between her one minute and another.

Talk it out with her and be happy with your decisions. If you are not, is this relationship really worth it to you?
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Next time you're with your gf and you see a girly girl dressed the way you like, make a big deal about it to your gf. Say how cute she is, how much you like what she's wearing. Basically make your gf feel jealous.

Or just dump her and get yourself a *girl*, not a tomboy.
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your girlfriend won't dress like a girl because she's been brainwashed by media, college, and feminism to reject her natural femininity and act/dress masculine...which of course is very unappealing to men. she may be normal, but brainwashed and misguided!

and a lot of women that wear dresses, are wearing revealing, slutty chic outfit

google: why young women are exposing themselves by Dennis Prager

men must champion feminine women
http://www.savethemales.ca/051201.html
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pshhhh She's normal! i dress kinda like that, skinny jeans,hoodie,a t-shirt (mostly band t-shirts),and eyeliner.That's about it. I agree jeans,t-shirts, & sneakers are girl clothes! let her dress the way she wants to. I hate wearing heals (Hurt my feet) & and a skirt? lol. Never. Even if it's for someone close. Girly girls are my enemy =O Beware! xD
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Budthewise
If it was the difference between wearing a nice formal evening dress or being single when your boyfriend leaves, is it really worth keeping this up?
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Maybe you should give her more reasons to care about her appearance? Like take her to get a nice dinner somewhere?
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I think that's actually kind of cute. Some girls seem to find it more appealing to dress 'masculine' as you might put it. Perhaps it gives them a feeling of power. Your expectations are not high though... Just different from hers. At least you won't have other guys trying to line her, so that might be a plus point. Try buying her some clothes or accessories that you find girly, and see how she takes it. Give it to her rather subtly - like as a surprise gift when you go shopping, so she doesn't think you're trying to force her to change herself. Or maybe see if you can find clothes that she normally wears with a more girlish twist. Like pink converse sneakers, or a cute hoodie etc.
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Dress is an expression of feelings running inside everyone.There are so many better styles out there. There are a lot of good options.So don't limit yourself.

Every woman likes to be cautious about her looks and appearance. Anyway, fashion is mostly related to women. It can also be said that fashion is synonymous to women. But the fact is that fashion is not just about dressing, but many things add to it.

So i suggest you to just convince her about her dressing sense and guide her.
<a href="http://www.nexteve.com/">Prom Dresses 2011</a>
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U dont have friends so you're not normal for not accepting her like that
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No. I would not date a girl who wore khakis with brown leather flats.
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Totally normal, why?
Coz she's not the only one =)
Not a fan of girly stuff either, I prefer jeans, t-shirts, etc.
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I dont know if you're normal.
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No she is normal. You however are an asshole and an idiot. If you want a girly girl date a girly girl. Dont date a tomboy and expect her to change since you dont like her image. When you date someone you get what you get. Dont try to build a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend. You should be happy she pays attention to you at all. You do not deserve a women. I for one love tomboys. I think women look adorable in boys cloth and prissy is just annoying. If you dont want your girlfriend let her go for someone who appreciates her.
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you should buy one to her!!!
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Im the same way. jeans t-shirt and sum sneakers. is comftorable and u dnt have 2 worry about fallin or someone lukin under ur skirt. and if u met her that way then theres really nothing u can do about it. you can compromise. but if she still says no, have her wear sumthin u like wen is only the two of u. that way, wen she does wear "girly clothes" you learn how to appreciate it more ;-)
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i like wereing that too pink,dreeses and make-up its all to girly
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KashMemon
She's a lesbian really
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