I have been dating a girl for about three years. We met we were finishing college, and things have been going pretty well since then. I am really attracted to girls that are, well, girly. I like when I see a girl in a dress or skirt, heels, etc. My girlfriend, however, refuses to wear anything beyond jeans, t-shirts, and birkenstocks. When she really dresses up, she wears khakis with brown leather flats. I ask her to dress more like a girl, and she says my expectations are too high - is she normal?
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u gotta understand, this is coming from a female, fashion and comfort do NOT go together. It is very very uncomfortable to be wearing high heels, a thong, and tight skirts, all this girly clothes, can be uncomfortable.
you have to retouch your makeup every hour, brush your hair every hour, to keep that feminine image. Lets be realistic who can do that with our busy lives. alot of guys are in awe of beauty but have no idea the work females go through for it
im sitting in my sweatpants typing this comfortable as hell, and i wouldnt be wearing a tight pencil skirt for the sake of being eye candy. sorry!
unless im going out on a date
To crimson, this is a little bait-and-switch to me. I think women, rightly, often complain that men wine and dine them at first and then once we "catch" the girl, we don't try anymore. I've seen that often. But it's almost always tied to the girl not trying on her end either. It's like this general collapse of "trying" in the relationship and both sides are guilty of it.
Think about it for a second. This may be a tough issue for your girlfriend. I know this may bother you, but consider if she might have some insecurities about the clothes she wears. Or maybe it's not her style.
I understand men are very 'visual creatures' and love to see thir lady wearing a nice dress, leather jacket, whatever. If this really bothers you, AND you and your girlfriend are open to talking to eachother, bring it up, but don't be mean about it. There's a fine line at which you shouldn't cross. Good luck mate.
On the hindsight, she hates my professional outfits and would like nothing more than to see me in jeans all of the time. So, I dress up for school and around the house, I wear the jeans she likes.
IN ALL RELATIONSHIPS - IT IS GIVE AND TAKE AND YOU MUST BE OKAY WITH THIS CONCEPT OR YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BE ALONE. There is no way around that, compromise or be alone, there is just no other option.
I'm always wearing jeans and a tee.
But, I'm willing to compromise for my boyfriend.
He just has to find something to do for me in return.
Compromise, yo.
high heels are uncomfortable and can be a health hazard, and skirts can make girls feel more self conscious, it's understandable and NORMAL for her not to wear them
Still I have issues, not with her masculinity but with how she dresses. All she owns are shorts and T-shirts; ugly ones at that. She has no sense of what I would call fashion. Her beauty is unconventional and I love it. She has a great body, yet she really looks bad due to her choice of clothing. We've spoken about her wardrobe and she is willing to try new things. However, I feel somewhat shallow because this issue. The problem is not hers, it's mine. She didn't care about what she wore until she met me.
Therefore, I am torn. I do love my girlfriend and will not leave her over this issue. However, I do wish she was more pleasing to my eyes. I promised her I'd never ask her to do two things: wear makup or high heels. I believe if a woman does not want to wear those two items, they shouldn't have to.
The upside to all this is, even though she is very beautiful, guys don't hit on her because she hides it so well, lol. Plus, it doesn't take her 2 hours to get ready when we go out. That to me is worth its weight in gold.
So, am I being shallow for asking my girl to dress more pleasing to me? Or, is THAT normal?
You do more harm than good trying to change her or coax her into fitting some imaginary role you've constructed.
Did you ever stop to think that being in "girl drag" feels fake to her? That she prefers to be herself and that she loves you enough to not want to present you with something that is not absolutely genuine? You you change the way you dress for her? or what your style is like? I bet not.
If she has to put on a show for you to be comfortable - then maybe you should look in the mirror at the problem.
The other day I was at a bus stop and when the bus arrived the guy in front of me was looking for a wall to stubb his cigarette out on. The girl he was with just stubbed hers out on the thigh of her denim jeans. My girl has even pinched her cigarette out with her bare fingers.
I think girls are getting harder all the time!
I am a sensible guy and would love to have equal rights for everyone. Unfortuantely, it does not work this way and please just accept that.
Would you be happy if your fiance, or boyfriend just woke up and put on a dress? Would you still be okay with who he is or would this be a relationship-ending odeal?
Same thing back to women, we as a gender do not like dykes for wives or even stable girlfriends. Please dress the part or die unhappily married to a piece of trash or die alone with your cats.
I don't think she wants you as fashion consultant or to play dress up. If however you fine tune your interest to her tastes, you may find a way of supporting her w/o being patronizing.
However, if she would rather not be feminine, are you willing to leave or just be okay with her. The best part of my current fiances relationship with me is we both have gone beyond this petty crap.
Somedays, when we go out she wears not only bad clothing picks but it is often dirty and fugly looking. However, when we go someplace nice or out for a good night, I get her to dress up like she does in my profile. If you look on the last link, you can see the differences between her one minute and another.
Talk it out with her and be happy with your decisions. If you are not, is this relationship really worth it to you?
Or just dump her and get yourself a *girl*, not a tomboy.
and a lot of women that wear dresses, are wearing revealing, slutty chic outfit
google: why young women are exposing themselves by Dennis Prager
men must champion feminine women
http://www.savethemales.ca/051201.html
Every woman likes to be cautious about her looks and appearance. Anyway, fashion is mostly related to women. It can also be said that fashion is synonymous to women. But the fact is that fashion is not just about dressing, but many things add to it.
So i suggest you to just convince her about her dressing sense and guide her.
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Coz she's not the only one =)
Not a fan of girly stuff either, I prefer jeans, t-shirts, etc.