Is this the married life. Why didn't someone tell me. I would have said NO
Married for 10 years now,
The wife has turned into a Slob, Lazy, Evil, Violent,
Does not cook, Says she cleans but the house is a mess, 4 kids and they all fail schooling from her helping them. everything she says is wrong but she thinks she's always right.
She does not work and will not go find a job. Just sits around and does nothing like dead weight and blames me for her life.
Constant yelling in the house. Oh god do not let her drink she turns to a monster and you cannot even talk to her.
She talks to herself basically and hears what she wants to hear. Even if I have said nothing.
Got married at 20 Big Mistake!!! now i'm 30 and cannot take this. I work a high profile job and its affecting my work.
sh*t I am ready to call it quits
but children and property involved i feel i am stuck. Child support would eat me alive.
All you young guys out there. Be very selective who you mess with. Any sign of behavior you do not like, Use her and broom her fast. RUN
This is just pure Evil. oh and this is Everyday no matter where we go. EVERYDAY
Maybe you should try counseling , and if that dosen't work-proceed with divorce
It's great you are concerned with your kids, but you should also be concened with your happiness
Do wat I did and Find a nice hidden place for her body, that no one will ever look in the next 50 years. Then bury the b*tch.
she has a job ---raising 4 kids.if she went to work think about how much youd pay finding child care for 4 kids during the day.talk about eaten alive.
and how about yourself? Do you help her around the house? she is there all day with 4 kids you think her life is grand?maybe she feels trapped too? maybe that causes her to be grumpy towards you?
she may have problems but lots of guys expect a woman to cook and clean house all day and take care of a pack of kids and then be a sex goddess for you when you get home.get real.
bottom line is youve got 4 kids.do what is best for them.just staying together to avoid child support is not much of an environment for kids to be in.
more than 60 % of marriages now a days end in divorce.
And wat happens wen u DO make the conscience decision to change it, and the more u try to change it, the more ur spouse just refuses, until things get soo bad, that u just give up. Because everyone has a breaking point; where after fighting to change it soooo much they just break and stop trying because it just becomes too mentally and physically taxing on them.
Not everyone can pull other people out of a rut, especailly if the person ur trying to SAVE doesnt want to be SAVED. There r people like this. Its just a part of life.
The worst feeling in the world, is feeling like ur STUCK (been there; done that), cuz wen u feel like that u fall into a depression, and ur life falls apart and its not something u get over easy or ever forget.
So if thats the case for this poster, then I suggest reading my previous post and burying the b*tch.
You situation is complicated because of the children. If not for the children I would advise you to get a divorce.
Make an effort to improve your marriage by both of you seeking marital counseling. If she refuses to go, and the abuse continues, you will have to separate from her. Your children are the ones who will suffer if you divorce. Unfortunately, there is no easy solution, but try the marital counseling.
And, but the abuse and violence is the deal breaker. If that continues with no sign of improvement, then you have no choice but to leave.
If you eventually take the divorce route, try as hard as possible to come to an agreement with her. Winding up in the courts and feuding back and forth with lawyers is exhausting and draining.
Good luck, remember, marital counseling first.
and if u hate her so much how u have 4 kids?
anyway just get an annulment if u can
Does she love you?
She might only want you cause you work.
hmm
Wrong answer.
He does not have an obligation to help around the house because he is the sole provider. He works his ass off all day to pay for 4 kids and a wife who doesn't work. If anything he deserves to have a drink handed to him and receive a massage when he gets home for busting his butt all day.
Want him to help around the house? Fine - then let the wife get a job and start paying a full 50% of the bills. Then and only then is he obligated to help around the house.
Women like you and your Oprah brainwashing are exactly the reason American women make horrible wives and the divorce rate is 60%.
However usually it's the men who turn out to be the lazy, do nothing around the house, "never spends time with the kids" parents.
Go for some counseling. That's usually the first step to trying to improve a marriage. Do keep in mind though that a marriage consists of a whole lot of giving and not a lot of taking. Maybe you were unprepared for this?
You also have to think about the commitment you made at such a young age. Marriage is not to be taken lightly, and so many people do these days and this is what happens. Your wife may be unbearable, but perhaps she is asking for attention, not getting any, and continually getting worse. I suggest you at least work on your marriage first before deciding to do anything like cheat or look into separation/divorce. Sit down with your wife and tell her how you've been feeling. Don't be accusatory, but be honest and earnest in wanting to work things out. If you don't want to do this alone, do it with a marriage counselor so you have another person there to act as a referee. Then you can start to try to rebuild your marriage with a lot of therapy and counseling together.
If you want your wife to be more active, why not try to do things WITH her?? Take time out of your day to volunteer, take specialty classes, go to the gym, go out on dates... etc.
Also try to look online for other things you can do to repair a failing marriage. It has happened before, and because you have 4 very young children with you, you need to put THEM first before your interests and do your best to be the best father and husband you can be.
Doing little things like taking the laundry to the laundry room or putting the dishes away after the wife stands for over an hour washing them or whatever doesn't take much effort or time. If the man doesn't do it though it's not effort or time that's involved, then there is something else going on like resentment or spite.
i would ask syrinx if he would be willing to let his wife get the full time job for 8 hrs a weekday while he works 16 hours a day taking care of the house and kids serve his wife hand and foot when she gets home.
syrinx, people have long ago realized that type of setup is unfair. and don't blame oprah for that. lol. It is unfair. think about it.
I think his wife is probably a lazy stupid drunk slob and he probably needs to dump her.
commitment to marriage is one thing, and kids add another dimension to the word obligation. but even with kids and despite the marriage vows taken, very often it is just better for everyone, even and maybe especially the kids, for this type of marriage to end.
Maybe your kids are assholes and you need to whip them into shape, mom cant do it alone. I been there and yea, kids can be assholes and they can totally throw a parents marriage out of whack with their b/s, parents have to be a united front with children.
Then start to speed the process up. Praise yourself and go out and buy yourself something or get a massage what ever you got to do.
Then when this issue is finished and you will finish and BTW you will never have to deal with this snake again. Pick the next snake. Remeber a lot of things can occur today because of technology. I hope this helps and I am sure that you are smarter than me oh one bit of last advice decided what you stand for and lead your family where you know you need to go. I am sure you will find that your wife is exhibiting these behaviors because she has felt like she is letting you down. I am sure she is letting you down. The thing is our society allows us to cast women to side like dolls (Divorce) and it easy for us we can just sit back and go get another one. Don't believe all of this psycho bable pick your plan train you and your wife and make sure you are not another stat. I hope this helps. Post back if you have any other questions.
I'm not sure if I would owe him alimony or not, but the man has no balls, so I doubt he'd even seek it out if I left him. I feel like he was false advertising.