Are You Normal?

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"You can't count on anybody but yourself."
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Before I start, I'd just like to mention that I am 24 years old. (This may seem unnecessary, but some people might assume that my feelings resemble those of an adolescent. I'm an adult, and I think it's important to make that clear.)

I'm not ungrateful. I just hate my mother. I always have, ever since I was a small child. I can't explain it very well, but that's how I truly feel. I hate her, and she seems to hate me too. We've never said "I love you", or hugged, or done any of those normal, mother-daughter things. I really believe that she never should have had me, or my sister, and that she was never meant to be a mother.

I understand that there are so many people who are so much worse of than I am, people who have no mothers, those who have lost close family members; I know. I just hate my mother, and I need to know if anybody else feels this way as an adult.
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Comments (12)
cabinet70
There is nothing wrong wit that as long as it doesnt affect your life
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Thanks, I try not to let it, but it's on my mind a lot of the time. I'm afraid to have kids of my own, thinking they might hate me too.
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i'm not really sure which direction to go in with this

have you ever tried bridging the gap between you two??
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I've tried talking to her about it a few times throughout my life, but she's very narrow-minded about these sorts of things. Whenever people's feelings are involved, she just puts up this wall like she doesn't want to deal with it. Then we end up arguing, yelling, and finally ignoring each other.
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well i think you are at a point where there is nothing left to do
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I was the same way with my father. He and I just couldn't get along. I couldn't talk to him and don't know if I ever heard the words I love you out of his mouth. When I was 18 I finally decided to put it behind me and go on with my life. I promised myself that I would always do what I could with my kids and when ever I can let them know, "I love ya!"

I eneded up raising my kids by myself as my wife left me in my mid 20s When ever I see them or when ever I talk to them I always tell them I love them before I go.

The past is the past we have to let it go and lokk ahead. You aren't your mom. You have been shown what you don't like so now go on and strive to be the kind of mom you wish you had.
Your only cheating yourself if you don't.
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CrazyMoFo
I dont know wat to say, my father and I havent always been buddy buddy, and we have had some serious fights and arguments (all wen I was a teenager), but no matter wat we always apologised to each other for fighting.

Its a maturity issue I think. Cuz at 18 I carried my father out of the house to the car with the mail man to take him to the hospital, because he has heart problems and fell to the ground unconscience and shaking due to the doctor giving him the wrong medication, and I remember thinking on the way to the hospital that if he died we had spent all my teenage years arguing and fighting for nothing and about nothing, over stupid bullshit that desnt even matter, instead of doing father/son things like working on a car, or fishing or watever. And So like a week later we had a serious conversation about our relationship, and since we did, I think we've had 2 or 3 arguements in the passed 8 years. Now that I have 2 kids of my own I understand my father and why he argued and fought with me (mostly cuz I was young and immature and wanted things my way).

So without yelling or arguing, u should just tell her how u feel about her and why u feel that way, and maybe she will think about wat u sed to her and how u actually feel and she may or may not talk to u. Hopefully she will realise she needs to change her habbits to help change ur relationship, or maybe u'll realise that ur still immature.

Hate consumes people. Don't let it control u.

Its easier to Hate someone for doing the wrong things than it is to work at loving them for attempting to do wat they think r the right things.
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i have a fucked up mom.....i dont take her phone calls....moved 500 mi away.....and forget about her as much as i can
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Certainly. The myth that you have to love your family is just that. Biology is quite clearly constructed for kids to split from their parents when they hit puberty and start getting the acceptance and physical contact that they used to get from their parents from their peers instead, starting a family soon. Following biology isn't necessarily a great way to go, just because something is natural is no reason to pursue it, but it does go to show that the dedication to "blood" is completely manufactured by society. If it does not help you, drop it.
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i have to say me and my mom arent terribly close and at this point if she died i honestly dont know if i would cry. she verbally abused me once and loved her so much that i never recovered. it broke my heart a bit. but oh well. its funny how when its comes to protecting yourself you side with yourself more than the other person. i think it has something to do with survival instincts, but none the less her actions ruined our relationship. so when she wonders why i dont call or write well she should remember the stupid shit she said.
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i really dont understand how u can hat ur mother so much . i have days that i cant stand my ma and if she died i would miss her so much. i believe that hate is a very strong word. maybe u 2 are as much alike that u dont relise thats why u clash? i never used to be close with my ma and im only 22 and i get along awsome. but like i said we clash to somedays but i could never bring myself to saying i HATE her. sure i said when i was little....maybe im a bit more mature these days and now i know what the adult world is..
u can pick ur friends but not ur family!
enjoy her company and tell her u love her. give her a hug. it might brake ur barriers with each other
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as you go through life and go through people, friends and things of that nature, you come to realize one thing: not everyone is going to like you. family or not, its true! i mean think about it. think of someone you dont like, get along with, loathe, etc and think they're someone's mother, brother, sister, father. so all this family b.s. is just that....bull. i dont hate my family, we just don't mesh and hey, thats ok. they're in your life for a reason, it's your choice what to do with it. even though my family has treated me like crap allmy life, abused me mentally and physically, i've learned to take that, take what they did and who they are and not be that way. some say i'm the sweetest person they've ever met, and thats all thanks to the fact that i learned to not be like them and let their abuse take the best of me. so, in a nut shell, it's normal.......normal to not like people...your family is just that people....we're all people.....just because they have the same blood as you doesnt prve anything. i dont talk to my family but im not a bad person. i volunteer for a group home and red cross. dont ever let someone put you down because you dont like your family. so many times when i was younger i've been lectured "family first, blood is thicker than water" yeah right! in my case and yours. not everyone is blessed into a loving family. but like i said just dont let them get to you. its normal. dont let tht anger or hatred build up. theres love in you and theres people outthere who want it and deserve it.
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