I know exactly how you feel, I am in the exact same boat. I've been with ym boyfriend for just over a year now and I love him to peices but i've completely changed from how I was when we first got together. Everything was fine for months and months in fact i'm not really sure when I started being so obsessed, but I can't get by the day not hearing off him sometimes it makes me feel so sad that he doesn't want to talk to me but it's not like that at all, a couple should be able to go a day without having to speak its stupid because I know that and I just can't help it. If we have an argument and he's done something wrong i'm the one that gets worried i'll loose him and I apologise and end up ringing and ringing to try and make things okay between us but he wants a bit of space to just forget about things and I make everything worse by trying to talk to him and apologise and everything! I avoid making plans with my friends just in case I might get the chance of spending tiem with my boyfriend instead, but when I know he's busy and I go out with my friends I think about him but i'm fien and happy knowing we as a couple are good but I can go out with my friends and have a good time while he's out with his, so I think to myself right i'll make more arrangments with my friends and if he then wants to see me i'll say ive got arrangements and we'll see each other another time. But it doesn't work because i'll end up going out with my friends then my boyfriends wants to do something and I find myself resenting the fact i'm stuck seeing my friends when I could be spending time with my boyfriend so I go back to waiting around to hear off him! It's so hard to try and change because I don't want to loose my boyfriend so I don't want us to break up and me try and move on and become more of my own person I want to stay with him but not be such an obsessive! But I don't know what to do I try and keep myself busy doing other things but then I get really annoyed if I do something and then he wants to see me and I can;t just spend anytime by myself anymore just chilling and watching tv or something like I used to enjoy doing from time to time but now all i do is sit there not even being able to concentrate on a film because i'm too busy thinking why doesn't he want to see me, whats he doing should I ring him, should I text him and if we've fallen out I just ring him and text him apologises which I know will get on his nerves but I just want him to know i'm sorry so that we can get on with being happy. arghhhh it's driving me crazy I was thinkign maybe there might be something psychologically wrong with me and maybe I should go see my doctor am I being stupid or should I see a doctor??
i know exactly how it feels..my boyfriend and i have been together for the past 6 yrs...at first it was rough with my parents, but then everything was setteled and it was ok...recently my boyfriend told me that for the past 2 years he was unhappy, (it hit me like a ton of bricks) he said that i was to controlling and that he was fed up with me and that he dosent feel the same way that he felt 6 years ago..he told me to leave him alone and give him space..but it the hardes thing that he could ever ask.. i am feeling to constantly call him just so that we could make up ad every thing could be ok..but he dosent want to hear from me.. he just wants the chance to have a little time for him self...i told him that i would do any any thing in the world just to make him comfortabe and happy. so i literally begged him tellin him sorry for the times that he ffelt that i was controllin him and made him unhappy..but he didnt react to anything..he dosent understand that i am worried about him and he goes out alot with friends and stay out all night partying while i am home sleeping, so understand where i am coming from..i have my phone 24/7 and i dear not miss a cal from him.i love him very much.. i cry all the time and cannot seem to concentrate on anything else... he hasnt call me for a week..i hurts really really bad..i really tried to apologize and get back everything in good terms, but he didnt react..i dont kno wat to do..i dont want to loose him.
feel sorry for you. i think you are not for him and he is not for you. move on and think about yourself and your happiness. i can see your suffering but you cant see it yourself..please dont get this deeper into you and your life..do not suffer for who you dont belong to..be strong and live your life..find happiness somewhere else
I wonder if its. A perception of making him the center of your universe bc he makes you feel a certain way. A way you always needed and wanted to feel but possibly... possibly have not felt before.. really truly. Loved without judgement. He knows how to make u feel wonderful and u don't want to lose that feeling. He maybe a bit of a womanizer and very cute tho if he has you wrapped around his finger so tight. He knows your not going anywhere so maybe just maybe but not def. He thinks he has the green light to explore or just not call u back right away...after all he knows you're not going anywhere. You ARE glued to his finger.
Sorry, but I can't be bothered reading your wall or words. Is there something about being addicted to a partner which is linked with also being addicted to long boring repetitive sentences?
I totally get what you're going through, in fact...I was a bit freaked out while I was reading...it sounded exactly like what I'm going through. I get overly upset and apologize whenever my boyfriend and I argue because I'm afraid that he'll leave me because he's so 'independent' and likes spending so much time alone that he doesn't need me like I need him. I too avoid making plans with friends in fear that I'll miss out on hanging out with him. I guess I just can't understand that he'd rather be alone than with me, or that it doesn't make that much of a difference either way.
We have been together for almost 3 years now but he broke up with me about 6 months ago and we got back together after a month. The break up made me feel even more insecure because even though I could see that it hurt him to let me go, the fact of the matter is that he did, he broke up with me and I never would. Now that we're back together things have been a bit better but I still feel really insecure about the fact that it seems like he can just walk away from me at any point and I'll be left completely devastated.
When he leaves to go to his parent's house, he never asks me to come with him even though he doesn't even really go to spend time with his family, he just wants to be alone. It makes me feel ill every time I suspect that he's going away. That's right, I suspect cuz he never actually tells me until his bags are already packed and he's practically walking out the door. He probably doesn't tell me before because he knows I'll be sad or upset or something.
When we're not physically together like in the same space, it's like I don't exist. He doesn't call, doesn't text, it's like he falls off the face of the planet and I hate that. If he's not here with me I want him to call me before he goes to sleep or at least message me goodnight. I want him to tell me how his day was and ask about mine. But he just ignores me, it's like I don't exist. It's not like he's doing really important or time-consuming things that he can't remember to say good night.
I don't know what to do.
wher do i even start on my story....... its 3.05 in the morning and i cant sleep coz my boyfriend is out wit his friends.. he rarely goes out vecause i think he feels dat he'l upset me but when he does its like he's bein released from prison and i dont hear from him and sumtimes he doesnt come home until 7 or 8 de nxt mornin.. in may last year he walked out on me said he was fed up wit us arguing (i didnt even think we argued dat much) i was absolutely devastated... i didnt hear from him in over a week and bear in mind we lived together for nearly 2 yrs and spoke every day by text or on the phone, we never hung up on each other without sayin i love u so wen he left me i felt lost... i didnt eat i couldnt sleep for days, i couldnt stay in the house on my own, i actually couldnt be on my own coz i was so upset and heartbroken.. i had to stay wit my mam or my sisters and wen i was in work i just cried all day at my desk! eventually my brother contacted him and told him the way he left me like that wasnt fair and he needed to explain himself to me.. he agreed to meet me and we got bk together coz i basically begged (i kno i shouldnt hav done dat) since that day the feelings of anxiousness, paranoia, the feeling of wanting to cry all de time hasnt went away... and to make things worse his phone beeped one evening wen we wer lyin in bed and i he refused to open the txt and wen he eventually did it was from a girl i never heard of and it said "hey x"... it might sound nothin but it brought me bk to a really dark place... i didnt get angry or annoyed i just cried non stop for days and begged him not to txt her and to help me stop feelin like this... i went to my doctor a few weeks later and was diagnosed with depression and she gave me anti depressants and sleepin pills.. i had stopped seein my friends, my family wer really worried about me, i was a completely different person! i was obsessed wit him and all i wanted was for him to love me and be der for me.. but i wasnt getting dem vibes from him.. he won a really important football match wit his team so he went out that night, he came home de nxt morn and got ready to go out again.. i was still insecure and in a really bad way but realised there was nothin i cud say or do to make him see how bad i was.. he came home de nxt morn, got ready and yes u guessed it, went out again.. i broke down on front of him and fell to the floor, i was hyterical.. i didnt get annoyed i just cried and cried and cried until i made myself sick.. i begged him to lookafter me and make me better but he told me that i wud be ok and he left again.. i asked him to come home at the end of the night as i cud not handle being on my own and he promised me he wud.. he even said he wud phone and i cud collect him at the end of the night. it was 4am and i still hadnt heard anythin so i got into the car and dtove to the club i knew he was at.. i phoned him wen i was outside but ge rejected the call then turned off his phone.. the club was shut and no1 was there to even ask.. i drove home screamin cryin, hiw i made ot home alive i dont kno.. i felt so hurt and betrayed.. wat had i done to deserve this!! i knew it was then time to pack my things and leave.. my phone was ringin and ringin for the next few days after that.. he then appeared at my mams house and she told him to leave me alone.. he txt me sayin he was really sorry that it wudnt happen again.... and of course i took him back after a week... he apologised, told me he'smd do anythin to help me get better and im still here, shakin wit fear wonderin if he'l come home tonite or wonderin wen de next time will be he'l finish wit me.... i dont hav friends i see on a regular basis anymore asi revolve my life around him, the only thing i do is play sport and go the gym and that is my only get away..... im drivin myself insane and i dont kno wat to do... it feels like my life is not worth living without him.. i pay the bills, i get the groceries, i clean up.... i cant understand why im this bad over a human being... i was never like this b4.... some1 please help me because i dont kno how much more i can take of this.. im sorry my post is so long!
I, too, have this exact same problem. I dont remember when it started to be this way but I'm soo happy to know that im not alone in feeling this way because for the longest time I thought i was.. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. I also can never stop thinking of him, not making plans with friends for fear I'll lose a chance to see him, constantly worrying about what hes doing and always on his case about everything. I know that it is driving him away but all i can think about is why do i still feel like im in the 'puppy-dog' stage and he isnt? i tell him its like he doesnt care or love me as much as i love him because he doesnt act like i do. my self-esteem has gone way down and i know that the way i have made this relationship is not healthy. He never wants to do things that I like. It always about what he wants but i do it because i love him and dont want to lose him. You see, my boyfriend is also in College and im in high school still. So that doesnt help. I feel like i need to see him all the time i can before he goes back cuz then i wont see him for over a week at a time. I miss him like crazy but its like he doesnt miss me. if he talks to me or sees me, yay but if he doesnt, ok. no big deal. :/ and now he tells me that im immature and crazy because im so obessessed..idk what to do anymore. i cant control myself..im always crying to him, trying to do something to make him swallow his pride and say he never wants to live without me but he just looks at me like im the dumbest girl in the world but then later, hes sweet and loving. what do i do to stop being so clingy?????
I think im obsessed with my boyfriend and i need to quit
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I know exactly how you feel, I am in the exact same boat. I've been with ym boyfriend for just over a year now and I love him to peices but i've completely changed from how I was when we first got together. Everything was fine for months and months in fact i'm not really sure when I started being so obsessed, but I can't get by the day not hearing off him sometimes it makes me feel so sad that he doesn't want to talk to me but it's not like that at all, a couple should be able to go a day without having to speak its stupid because I know that and I just can't help it. If we have an argument and he's done something wrong i'm the one that gets worried i'll loose him and I apologise and end up ringing and ringing to try and make things okay between us but he wants a bit of space to just forget about things and I make everything worse by trying to talk to him and apologise and everything! I avoid making plans with my friends just in case I might get the chance of spending tiem with my boyfriend instead, but when I know he's busy and I go out with my friends I think about him but i'm fien and happy knowing we as a couple are good but I can go out with my friends and have a good time while he's out with his, so I think to myself right i'll make more arrangments with my friends and if he then wants to see me i'll say ive got arrangements and we'll see each other another time. But it doesn't work because i'll end up going out with my friends then my boyfriends wants to do something and I find myself resenting the fact i'm stuck seeing my friends when I could be spending time with my boyfriend so I go back to waiting around to hear off him! It's so hard to try and change because I don't want to loose my boyfriend so I don't want us to break up and me try and move on and become more of my own person I want to stay with him but not be such an obsessive! But I don't know what to do I try and keep myself busy doing other things but then I get really annoyed if I do something and then he wants to see me and I can;t just spend anytime by myself anymore just chilling and watching tv or something like I used to enjoy doing from time to time but now all i do is sit there not even being able to concentrate on a film because i'm too busy thinking why doesn't he want to see me, whats he doing should I ring him, should I text him and if we've fallen out I just ring him and text him apologises which I know will get on his nerves but I just want him to know i'm sorry so that we can get on with being happy. arghhhh it's driving me crazy I was thinkign maybe there might be something psychologically wrong with me and maybe I should go see my doctor am I being stupid or should I see a doctor??
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pr123
12 years ago
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justonemoretime
12 years ago
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8 years ago
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11 years ago
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11 years ago
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i know exactly how it feels..my boyfriend and i have been together for the past 6 yrs...at first it was rough with my parents, but then everything was setteled and it was ok...recently my boyfriend told me that for the past 2 years he was unhappy, (it hit me like a ton of bricks) he said that i was to controlling and that he was fed up with me and that he dosent feel the same way that he felt 6 years ago..he told me to leave him alone and give him space..but it the hardes thing that he could ever ask.. i am feeling to constantly call him just so that we could make up ad every thing could be ok..but he dosent want to hear from me.. he just wants the chance to have a little time for him self...i told him that i would do any any thing in the world just to make him comfortabe and happy. so i literally begged him tellin him sorry for the times that he ffelt that i was controllin him and made him unhappy..but he didnt react to anything..he dosent understand that i am worried about him and he goes out alot with friends and stay out all night partying while i am home sleeping, so understand where i am coming from..i have my phone 24/7 and i dear not miss a cal from him.i love him very much.. i cry all the time and cannot seem to concentrate on anything else... he hasnt call me for a week..i hurts really really bad..i really tried to apologize and get back everything in good terms, but he didnt react..i dont kno wat to do..i dont want to loose him.
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LinaIs
12 years ago
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feel sorry for you. i think you are not for him and he is not for you. move on and think about yourself and your happiness. i can see your suffering but you cant see it yourself..please dont get this deeper into you and your life..do not suffer for who you dont belong to..be strong and live your life..find happiness somewhere else
I wonder if its. A perception of making him the center of your universe bc he makes you feel a certain way. A way you always needed and wanted to feel but possibly... possibly have not felt before.. really truly. Loved without judgement. He knows how to make u feel wonderful and u don't want to lose that feeling. He maybe a bit of a womanizer and very cute tho if he has you wrapped around his finger so tight. He knows your not going anywhere so maybe just maybe but not def. He thinks he has the green light to explore or just not call u back right away...after all he knows you're not going anywhere. You ARE glued to his finger.
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justonemoretime
12 years ago
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And trust me I know I've been there :(
Sorry, but I can't be bothered reading your wall or words. Is there something about being addicted to a partner which is linked with also being addicted to long boring repetitive sentences?
I totally get what you're going through, in fact...I was a bit freaked out while I was reading...it sounded exactly like what I'm going through. I get overly upset and apologize whenever my boyfriend and I argue because I'm afraid that he'll leave me because he's so 'independent' and likes spending so much time alone that he doesn't need me like I need him. I too avoid making plans with friends in fear that I'll miss out on hanging out with him. I guess I just can't understand that he'd rather be alone than with me, or that it doesn't make that much of a difference either way.
We have been together for almost 3 years now but he broke up with me about 6 months ago and we got back together after a month. The break up made me feel even more insecure because even though I could see that it hurt him to let me go, the fact of the matter is that he did, he broke up with me and I never would. Now that we're back together things have been a bit better but I still feel really insecure about the fact that it seems like he can just walk away from me at any point and I'll be left completely devastated.
When he leaves to go to his parent's house, he never asks me to come with him even though he doesn't even really go to spend time with his family, he just wants to be alone. It makes me feel ill every time I suspect that he's going away. That's right, I suspect cuz he never actually tells me until his bags are already packed and he's practically walking out the door. He probably doesn't tell me before because he knows I'll be sad or upset or something.
When we're not physically together like in the same space, it's like I don't exist. He doesn't call, doesn't text, it's like he falls off the face of the planet and I hate that. If he's not here with me I want him to call me before he goes to sleep or at least message me goodnight. I want him to tell me how his day was and ask about mine. But he just ignores me, it's like I don't exist. It's not like he's doing really important or time-consuming things that he can't remember to say good night.
I don't know what to do.
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Sara0303
7 years ago
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trcybs
11 years ago
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Move on. He's just not into you and you can't force him
wher do i even start on my story....... its 3.05 in the morning and i cant sleep coz my boyfriend is out wit his friends.. he rarely goes out vecause i think he feels dat he'l upset me but when he does its like he's bein released from prison and i dont hear from him and sumtimes he doesnt come home until 7 or 8 de nxt mornin.. in may last year he walked out on me said he was fed up wit us arguing (i didnt even think we argued dat much) i was absolutely devastated... i didnt hear from him in over a week and bear in mind we lived together for nearly 2 yrs and spoke every day by text or on the phone, we never hung up on each other without sayin i love u so wen he left me i felt lost... i didnt eat i couldnt sleep for days, i couldnt stay in the house on my own, i actually couldnt be on my own coz i was so upset and heartbroken.. i had to stay wit my mam or my sisters and wen i was in work i just cried all day at my desk! eventually my brother contacted him and told him the way he left me like that wasnt fair and he needed to explain himself to me.. he agreed to meet me and we got bk together coz i basically begged (i kno i shouldnt hav done dat) since that day the feelings of anxiousness, paranoia, the feeling of wanting to cry all de time hasnt went away... and to make things worse his phone beeped one evening wen we wer lyin in bed and i he refused to open the txt and wen he eventually did it was from a girl i never heard of and it said "hey x"... it might sound nothin but it brought me bk to a really dark place... i didnt get angry or annoyed i just cried non stop for days and begged him not to txt her and to help me stop feelin like this... i went to my doctor a few weeks later and was diagnosed with depression and she gave me anti depressants and sleepin pills.. i had stopped seein my friends, my family wer really worried about me, i was a completely different person! i was obsessed wit him and all i wanted was for him to love me and be der for me.. but i wasnt getting dem vibes from him.. he won a really important football match wit his team so he went out that night, he came home de nxt morn and got ready to go out again.. i was still insecure and in a really bad way but realised there was nothin i cud say or do to make him see how bad i was.. he came home de nxt morn, got ready and yes u guessed it, went out again.. i broke down on front of him and fell to the floor, i was hyterical.. i didnt get annoyed i just cried and cried and cried until i made myself sick.. i begged him to lookafter me and make me better but he told me that i wud be ok and he left again.. i asked him to come home at the end of the night as i cud not handle being on my own and he promised me he wud.. he even said he wud phone and i cud collect him at the end of the night. it was 4am and i still hadnt heard anythin so i got into the car and dtove to the club i knew he was at.. i phoned him wen i was outside but ge rejected the call then turned off his phone.. the club was shut and no1 was there to even ask.. i drove home screamin cryin, hiw i made ot home alive i dont kno.. i felt so hurt and betrayed.. wat had i done to deserve this!! i knew it was then time to pack my things and leave.. my phone was ringin and ringin for the next few days after that.. he then appeared at my mams house and she told him to leave me alone.. he txt me sayin he was really sorry that it wudnt happen again.... and of course i took him back after a week... he apologised, told me he'smd do anythin to help me get better and im still here, shakin wit fear wonderin if he'l come home tonite or wonderin wen de next time will be he'l finish wit me.... i dont hav friends i see on a regular basis anymore asi revolve my life around him, the only thing i do is play sport and go the gym and that is my only get away..... im drivin myself insane and i dont kno wat to do... it feels like my life is not worth living without him.. i pay the bills, i get the groceries, i clean up.... i cant understand why im this bad over a human being... i was never like this b4.... some1 please help me because i dont kno how much more i can take of this.. im sorry my post is so long!
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crisalone
10 years ago
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would like to know how are you now? cause you've suffered a lot!! take care and best wishes
I, too, have this exact same problem. I dont remember when it started to be this way but I'm soo happy to know that im not alone in feeling this way because for the longest time I thought i was.. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. I also can never stop thinking of him, not making plans with friends for fear I'll lose a chance to see him, constantly worrying about what hes doing and always on his case about everything. I know that it is driving him away but all i can think about is why do i still feel like im in the 'puppy-dog' stage and he isnt? i tell him its like he doesnt care or love me as much as i love him because he doesnt act like i do. my self-esteem has gone way down and i know that the way i have made this relationship is not healthy. He never wants to do things that I like. It always about what he wants but i do it because i love him and dont want to lose him. You see, my boyfriend is also in College and im in high school still. So that doesnt help. I feel like i need to see him all the time i can before he goes back cuz then i wont see him for over a week at a time. I miss him like crazy but its like he doesnt miss me. if he talks to me or sees me, yay but if he doesnt, ok. no big deal. :/ and now he tells me that im immature and crazy because im so obessessed..idk what to do anymore. i cant control myself..im always crying to him, trying to do something to make him swallow his pride and say he never wants to live without me but he just looks at me like im the dumbest girl in the world but then later, hes sweet and loving. what do i do to stop being so clingy?????