"I associate your statements with mental illness as they fit the textbook definition of anti-social personality disorder; a mental illness".
People that don't experience sexual desires and don't desire romantic relationships (aromanticism) have been diagnosed with mental illnesses, including schizoid personality disorder. Are they mentally ill? No. This is just wishful thinking on your part. You'd rather me be a mentally ill sociopathic person spouting nonsense, rather than accept things for how they are. You'd rather see things through rose tinted glasses. Claim I'm mentally ill if it makes you feel better. Just because you say I'm mentally ill does not make it true.
"I'm not even saying you should have to feel love. Plenty of people go through life being aromatic and have no issues. The difference is that they don't act like an absolute asshole about it. (And yes, you're being an asshole.)".
"If you truly have never loved a person, you need to see a therapist or another mental health professional". Sounds exactly what you are saying to me. Do you have memory loss? And you seem to associate bluntness with being an asshole. I'm not surprised, considering being honest is almost always associated with being an asshole.
"Even if others do not love me, which is actually more likely than you would believe, it won't stop me from caring about people. For instance, my parents hate me. I still love them nonetheless".
I can't help but feel sorry for you. Caring for people that don't give a shit about you is sad.
You continuously tell people no one actually loves them and I suspect you genuinely believe that but you're wrong in a lot of cases.
We technically only even know that we're personally conscious and self-aware, no one else. For all we know we're the only one and everyone else is just a mindless biological computer that does a good job with its act but is ultimately no different from a chatbot. We believe it's not the case because we know how we feel ourselves and that we're actually thinking. If we have to have a civil conversation with someone there's mutual disdain regarding, we know they're thinking "fuck you" the entire time because we are. We look inside ourselves and make assumptions about others. It's what we do.
I was really good friends with a sociopath (not saying you're such) for a really long time before anyone knew. He said that before he saw a doctor he had no idea. He thought _everyone_ was full of shit when they did anything empathetic, things as simple as asking how his day was. He couldn't understand how they could possibly give a fuck because he knew he sure as shit didn't much when he asked the same thing. He felt anyone would steal from anyone if they knew they wouldn't get caught. He thought it was just normal human nature, that everything else was just a charade in the name of social etiquette, that he was normal and sociopaths necessarily strangle rabbits, and it turned his world upside down when he realized he was actually just unusual and that most people aren't lying when they say they care about people, that stealing would make them feel bad, that they really do care about starving children, etc. Not only looking out for himself seemed biologically nonsensical to him and these kind of behaviors were so alien to him that he felt others _had_ to be faking them for most of his life. Essentially he was a sociopath so he assumed everyone else was as well.
I think you underestimate how different others are. There are strangers who would gladly take a bullet for you and also people you might catch masturbating to your freshly deceased rabbit. Humans are all over the place. Perhaps unsurprisingly there are both people full of shit and people utterly genuine when they say they love someone.
I think you're making the mistake of assuming your experience is typical simply because it's _your_ experience. You know you wouldn't mean it if you said something like that so it's difficult to imagine others meaning it. But your individual subjective experience isn't objective and happens to not even be typical or representative of the average in this case.
"I can't help but feel sorry for you. Caring for people that don't give a shit about you is sad."
This does a lot to demonstrate the fact that you haven't experienced love. For one, it's not something you choose, and secondly you only seem to see value in it if you get something out of it. That's not how the real thing works.
"I was really good friends with a sociopath (not saying you're such) for a really long time before anyone knew. He said that before he saw a doctor he had no idea. He thought _everyone_ was full of shit when they did anything empathetic, things as simple as asking how his day was. He couldn't understand how they could possibly give a fuck because he knew he sure as shit didn't much when he asked the same thing. He felt anyone would steal from anyone if they knew they wouldn't get caught. He thought it was just normal human nature, that everything else was just a charade in the name of social etiquette, that he was normal and sociopaths necessarily strangle rabbits, and it turned his world upside down when he realized he was actually just unusual and that most people aren't lying when they say they care about people, that stealing would make them feel bad, that they really do care about starving children, etc. Not only looking out for himself seemed biologically nonsensical to him and these kind of behaviors were so alien to him that he felt others _had_ to be faking them for most of his life. Essentially he was a sociopath so he assumed everyone else was as well".
You're friend is a fool. It has nothing to do with his mental illness. Yes, you're friend is unusual, but it isn't necessarily untrue that people don't care for others, wouldn't feel bad if they were to steal, etc. People only do and feel things they think they're SUPPOSED to do and feel because of the social contract. They don't actually want to, nor do they feel the things they claim they do. It's all a facade. If people actually were as loving and caring as they claim, then the world wouldn't be so shitty like it is. Sorry, but it is just reality.
"I think you underestimate how different others are. There are strangers who would gladly take a bullet for you and also people you might catch masturbating to your freshly deceased rabbit. Humans are all over the place. Perhaps unsurprisingly there are both people full of shit and people utterly genuine when they say they love someone".
How do we know these strangers are really doing it because of their supposed care for others? It would be a brilliant way of committing suicide without anyone knowing. Plus, these strangers would only be doing it because they feel like they have to. Either way, they wouldn't be doing it because they care for people. Most people that say they love someone ARE full of shit. I know it's hard to accept, but once again, it is just reality.
"I think you're making the mistake of assuming your experience is typical simply because it's _your_ experience. You know you wouldn't mean it if you said something like that so it's difficult to imagine others meaning it. But your individual subjective experience isn't objective and happens to not even be typical or representative of the average in this case".
Not necessarily. Even though I didn't like the words I love you, I loved my mother and would mean it when I told her that. I love my mom, and just knowing my mom will die soon is painful.
That's your mother. I mostly mean romantically right now or as in powerful friendships. There are really only two options here:
1. You know you wouldn't care about them like that, in which case you're making the mistake of thinking everyone is the same.
2. You think you would in fact care that much but that you're the only person in the world who would, which is irrational.
Sure, plenty of people are lying, but to tell people _everyone_ is lying is absurd. If people can anonymously donate their internal organs to strangers then I'm pretty sure there are people out there who can manage to say "I love you" to someone they actually know while meaning it.
Anyway I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I always start processing death ahead of time too. Death sucks.
"1.You know you wouldn't care about them like that, in which case you're making the mistake of thinking everyone is the same.
2. You think you would in fact care that much but that you're the only person in the world who would, which is irrational".
Not at all. It is something we will have to accept sooner or later. Also, I already have made it clear I don't experience romantic attraction, so of course I wouldn't care for them because I don't desire a relationship with them. This isn't the reason why I'm saying what I'm saying. Like I said, it's just how things are.
"Sure, plenty of people are lying, but to tell people _everyone_ is lying is absurd. If people can anonymously donate their internal organs to strangers then I'm pretty sure there are people out there who can manage to say "I love you" to someone they actually know while meaning it".
This is something people are unwilling to admit (which is fine), so of course you're going to say what I'm saying is absurd. Believe what you want. Also, someone donating their organs doesn't mean anything.
People donating their organs is something. Its giving someone a chance at a better life after you have passed (or in cases of transplants you are going above and beyond what is necessary to have someone else live a better life)
Would I donate a kidney to someone I dont know? Of course not. I like the peace of mind of having a replacement organ. If someone needs an organ that I care about I'm willing to lose that contingency organ. If I'm dead? Sure scoop whatever is useful to others out. A half pound of extra ashes really doesnt matter to my next of kin.
People having compassion for others is what moves humanity forward. It's the simple idea that we work better together. Same is true for relationships. Your partner will stay around if you truely love said person and it's a mutual ordeal. People who stay together will have more balanced (mentally) children.
Theres utility in love, something you wont comprehend until you view it in person. Sure you may never experience love or a relationship with another person. That's fine. But shitting on everyone else cannot be the "logical" way to perceive love. I'm logical, yet I'm willing to leave people to their own devices about stimuli that I haven't felt. Since I'm not omniscient and certainly not a genius among simpletons as you imply yourself to be. Which is pretty hysterical truth be told.
Some good points here. I was talking about transplants from the living as well. My primary deterrent from doing that was always the nightmare scenario of a family member later needing the same organ and knowing that there was likely a way better chance of the organ not being rejected in this case, plus the obvious pain of not being able to help a family member I could have.
To be clear I'm not trying to say that if I had no one in my life I would have absolutely done this, but I do know it's something I might have possibly thought over as long as I was really healthy and in a very good place in life.
"People donating their organs is something. Its giving someone a chance at a better life after you have passed (or in cases of transplants you are going above and beyond what is necessary to have someone else live a better life)".
That doesn't mean they are doing it because they care for others. It could be just for the sake of it. They won't need it, because they'll be dead of course, so why not give it to someone else? Assuming they are doing it because they care for others is strange, but assume away.
"People having compassion for others is what moves humanity forward. It's the simple idea that we work better together. Same is true for relationships. Your partner will stay around if you truely love said person and it's a mutual ordeal. People who stay together will have more balanced (mentally) children".
And you proved my point.
"Theres utility in love, something you wont comprehend until you view it in person. Sure you may never experience love or a relationship with another person. That's fine. But shitting on everyone else cannot be the "logical" way to perceive love. I'm logical, yet I'm willing to leave people to their own devices about stimuli that I haven't felt. Since I'm not omniscient and certainly not a genius among simpletons as you imply yourself to be. Which is pretty hysterical truth be told".
No, I don't think it will ever be something I "comprehend" because it is simply just not there, which is something you won't ever comprehend because nobody pays attention to what reality is really like. That, or you just don't want to admit it. Also, shitting on everyone? when? I never shitted on anyone in this thread. I am just telling everyone, and I hate to repeat myself, reality. Also, looking through this whole thread, it does not appear I ever once thought I knew everything or was a genius. I definitely don't know everything, and I'm certainly not Albert Einstein. Never implied that, but if that is how it appears, oh well. Have a nice day.
Love is useless
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"I associate your statements with mental illness as they fit the textbook definition of anti-social personality disorder; a mental illness".
People that don't experience sexual desires and don't desire romantic relationships (aromanticism) have been diagnosed with mental illnesses, including schizoid personality disorder. Are they mentally ill? No. This is just wishful thinking on your part. You'd rather me be a mentally ill sociopathic person spouting nonsense, rather than accept things for how they are. You'd rather see things through rose tinted glasses. Claim I'm mentally ill if it makes you feel better. Just because you say I'm mentally ill does not make it true.
"I'm not even saying you should have to feel love. Plenty of people go through life being aromatic and have no issues. The difference is that they don't act like an absolute asshole about it. (And yes, you're being an asshole.)".
"If you truly have never loved a person, you need to see a therapist or another mental health professional". Sounds exactly what you are saying to me. Do you have memory loss? And you seem to associate bluntness with being an asshole. I'm not surprised, considering being honest is almost always associated with being an asshole.
"Even if others do not love me, which is actually more likely than you would believe, it won't stop me from caring about people. For instance, my parents hate me. I still love them nonetheless".
I can't help but feel sorry for you. Caring for people that don't give a shit about you is sad.
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S0UNDS_WEIRD
1 year ago
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You continuously tell people no one actually loves them and I suspect you genuinely believe that but you're wrong in a lot of cases.
We technically only even know that we're personally conscious and self-aware, no one else. For all we know we're the only one and everyone else is just a mindless biological computer that does a good job with its act but is ultimately no different from a chatbot. We believe it's not the case because we know how we feel ourselves and that we're actually thinking. If we have to have a civil conversation with someone there's mutual disdain regarding, we know they're thinking "fuck you" the entire time because we are. We look inside ourselves and make assumptions about others. It's what we do.
I was really good friends with a sociopath (not saying you're such) for a really long time before anyone knew. He said that before he saw a doctor he had no idea. He thought _everyone_ was full of shit when they did anything empathetic, things as simple as asking how his day was. He couldn't understand how they could possibly give a fuck because he knew he sure as shit didn't much when he asked the same thing. He felt anyone would steal from anyone if they knew they wouldn't get caught. He thought it was just normal human nature, that everything else was just a charade in the name of social etiquette, that he was normal and sociopaths necessarily strangle rabbits, and it turned his world upside down when he realized he was actually just unusual and that most people aren't lying when they say they care about people, that stealing would make them feel bad, that they really do care about starving children, etc. Not only looking out for himself seemed biologically nonsensical to him and these kind of behaviors were so alien to him that he felt others _had_ to be faking them for most of his life. Essentially he was a sociopath so he assumed everyone else was as well.
I think you underestimate how different others are. There are strangers who would gladly take a bullet for you and also people you might catch masturbating to your freshly deceased rabbit. Humans are all over the place. Perhaps unsurprisingly there are both people full of shit and people utterly genuine when they say they love someone.
I think you're making the mistake of assuming your experience is typical simply because it's _your_ experience. You know you wouldn't mean it if you said something like that so it's difficult to imagine others meaning it. But your individual subjective experience isn't objective and happens to not even be typical or representative of the average in this case.
"I can't help but feel sorry for you. Caring for people that don't give a shit about you is sad."
This does a lot to demonstrate the fact that you haven't experienced love. For one, it's not something you choose, and secondly you only seem to see value in it if you get something out of it. That's not how the real thing works.
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Anonymous Post Author
1 year ago
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"I was really good friends with a sociopath (not saying you're such) for a really long time before anyone knew. He said that before he saw a doctor he had no idea. He thought _everyone_ was full of shit when they did anything empathetic, things as simple as asking how his day was. He couldn't understand how they could possibly give a fuck because he knew he sure as shit didn't much when he asked the same thing. He felt anyone would steal from anyone if they knew they wouldn't get caught. He thought it was just normal human nature, that everything else was just a charade in the name of social etiquette, that he was normal and sociopaths necessarily strangle rabbits, and it turned his world upside down when he realized he was actually just unusual and that most people aren't lying when they say they care about people, that stealing would make them feel bad, that they really do care about starving children, etc. Not only looking out for himself seemed biologically nonsensical to him and these kind of behaviors were so alien to him that he felt others _had_ to be faking them for most of his life. Essentially he was a sociopath so he assumed everyone else was as well".
You're friend is a fool. It has nothing to do with his mental illness. Yes, you're friend is unusual, but it isn't necessarily untrue that people don't care for others, wouldn't feel bad if they were to steal, etc. People only do and feel things they think they're SUPPOSED to do and feel because of the social contract. They don't actually want to, nor do they feel the things they claim they do. It's all a facade. If people actually were as loving and caring as they claim, then the world wouldn't be so shitty like it is. Sorry, but it is just reality.
"I think you underestimate how different others are. There are strangers who would gladly take a bullet for you and also people you might catch masturbating to your freshly deceased rabbit. Humans are all over the place. Perhaps unsurprisingly there are both people full of shit and people utterly genuine when they say they love someone".
How do we know these strangers are really doing it because of their supposed care for others? It would be a brilliant way of committing suicide without anyone knowing. Plus, these strangers would only be doing it because they feel like they have to. Either way, they wouldn't be doing it because they care for people. Most people that say they love someone ARE full of shit. I know it's hard to accept, but once again, it is just reality.
"I think you're making the mistake of assuming your experience is typical simply because it's _your_ experience. You know you wouldn't mean it if you said something like that so it's difficult to imagine others meaning it. But your individual subjective experience isn't objective and happens to not even be typical or representative of the average in this case".
Not necessarily. Even though I didn't like the words I love you, I loved my mother and would mean it when I told her that. I love my mom, and just knowing my mom will die soon is painful.
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S0UNDS_WEIRD
1 year ago
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That's your mother. I mostly mean romantically right now or as in powerful friendships. There are really only two options here:
1. You know you wouldn't care about them like that, in which case you're making the mistake of thinking everyone is the same.
2. You think you would in fact care that much but that you're the only person in the world who would, which is irrational.
Sure, plenty of people are lying, but to tell people _everyone_ is lying is absurd. If people can anonymously donate their internal organs to strangers then I'm pretty sure there are people out there who can manage to say "I love you" to someone they actually know while meaning it.
Anyway I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I always start processing death ahead of time too. Death sucks.
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Anonymous Post Author
1 year ago
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"1.You know you wouldn't care about them like that, in which case you're making the mistake of thinking everyone is the same.
2. You think you would in fact care that much but that you're the only person in the world who would, which is irrational".
Not at all. It is something we will have to accept sooner or later. Also, I already have made it clear I don't experience romantic attraction, so of course I wouldn't care for them because I don't desire a relationship with them. This isn't the reason why I'm saying what I'm saying. Like I said, it's just how things are.
"Sure, plenty of people are lying, but to tell people _everyone_ is lying is absurd. If people can anonymously donate their internal organs to strangers then I'm pretty sure there are people out there who can manage to say "I love you" to someone they actually know while meaning it".
This is something people are unwilling to admit (which is fine), so of course you're going to say what I'm saying is absurd. Believe what you want. Also, someone donating their organs doesn't mean anything.
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LloydAsher
1 year ago
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People donating their organs is something. Its giving someone a chance at a better life after you have passed (or in cases of transplants you are going above and beyond what is necessary to have someone else live a better life)
Would I donate a kidney to someone I dont know? Of course not. I like the peace of mind of having a replacement organ. If someone needs an organ that I care about I'm willing to lose that contingency organ. If I'm dead? Sure scoop whatever is useful to others out. A half pound of extra ashes really doesnt matter to my next of kin.
People having compassion for others is what moves humanity forward. It's the simple idea that we work better together. Same is true for relationships. Your partner will stay around if you truely love said person and it's a mutual ordeal. People who stay together will have more balanced (mentally) children.
Theres utility in love, something you wont comprehend until you view it in person. Sure you may never experience love or a relationship with another person. That's fine. But shitting on everyone else cannot be the "logical" way to perceive love. I'm logical, yet I'm willing to leave people to their own devices about stimuli that I haven't felt. Since I'm not omniscient and certainly not a genius among simpletons as you imply yourself to be. Which is pretty hysterical truth be told.
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S0UNDS_WEIRD
1 year ago
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Anonymous Post Author
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Some good points here. I was talking about transplants from the living as well. My primary deterrent from doing that was always the nightmare scenario of a family member later needing the same organ and knowing that there was likely a way better chance of the organ not being rejected in this case, plus the obvious pain of not being able to help a family member I could have.
To be clear I'm not trying to say that if I had no one in my life I would have absolutely done this, but I do know it's something I might have possibly thought over as long as I was really healthy and in a very good place in life.
"People donating their organs is something. Its giving someone a chance at a better life after you have passed (or in cases of transplants you are going above and beyond what is necessary to have someone else live a better life)".
That doesn't mean they are doing it because they care for others. It could be just for the sake of it. They won't need it, because they'll be dead of course, so why not give it to someone else? Assuming they are doing it because they care for others is strange, but assume away.
"People having compassion for others is what moves humanity forward. It's the simple idea that we work better together. Same is true for relationships. Your partner will stay around if you truely love said person and it's a mutual ordeal. People who stay together will have more balanced (mentally) children".
And you proved my point.
"Theres utility in love, something you wont comprehend until you view it in person. Sure you may never experience love or a relationship with another person. That's fine. But shitting on everyone else cannot be the "logical" way to perceive love. I'm logical, yet I'm willing to leave people to their own devices about stimuli that I haven't felt. Since I'm not omniscient and certainly not a genius among simpletons as you imply yourself to be. Which is pretty hysterical truth be told".
No, I don't think it will ever be something I "comprehend" because it is simply just not there, which is something you won't ever comprehend because nobody pays attention to what reality is really like. That, or you just don't want to admit it. Also, shitting on everyone? when? I never shitted on anyone in this thread. I am just telling everyone, and I hate to repeat myself, reality. Also, looking through this whole thread, it does not appear I ever once thought I knew everything or was a genius. I definitely don't know everything, and I'm certainly not Albert Einstein. Never implied that, but if that is how it appears, oh well. Have a nice day.