"my phоnе wаs оn thе cоuntеr аnd my dаughtеr wаs dеаd"
Has anyone else read this story? (I don't know if that's the legit name of the story but if you Gооgle that phrase it'll come up)
I was especially disturbed by the story because I do things like that all the time. One time I thought I had кillеd my cat due to a similar memory lapse, I had such a severe panic attack at that moment that the person who found me (It was before sunrise so the room was a bit dark) described me as looking as though my face was covered in paste and that I looked "possessed". It took me hours to recover from it, though my cat was fine.
Anyway, the reason I am really scared, is because my mind is full of shit which blocks out normal thinking. I have these constant thoughts that aren't my own, but they aren't NOT my own, so I can't exactly get "help" for it. It's just always a lot of fighting and yelling inside my mind and things like "Кill yourself" "Shut up" "I hate you" "Go diе" etc. that blocks me from thinking about what I'm doing. Those are the most memorable/coherent thought-obsessions, but it can also be random phrases. Ironically, that "my phone was on the counter and my daughter was dеаd" became one of those phrases. In one way, I thought it may help me to stop forgetting things (I had locked my self out of the house by accident just the other day, for the second time, and I am constantly forgetting my online assignments in college- that i can easily get full credit on- which obviously isn't too good on my grades despite knowing the material); but on the other hand it's just another thing that's blocking my "normal" thought-process. Just yesterday I had forgotten my keys inside my work after they had closed the place.
So anyway, is it normal to be so forgetful and as such extremely moved by the story to the point it is just another thing consuming my mind? Ps. I'm the person that wrote all the stories about messing up my speech. I'm about to call my school psychologist but I am really embarrassed & don't know what to say.