(not) becoming an incel?

It’s good that you have caught this kind of thinking early and recognise it as unhealthy. A misogynistic victim-mentality approach to dating and life in general will do you no favours and gradually eat you from the inside out.

I think the root of this is seeing yourself as unworthy, what makes you think that? Take a day to unpack your insecurities, list ways you can work on them and come up with a self improvement plan. Also recognising that you don’t have to be perfect and you’re allowed to be ok with some of your flaws is important. As the saying goes, “If you can’t love yourself how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”

I dont buy into any of the viewpoints but maybe its because of where you grew up. I havent experienced many entitled feminist type girls in my lifetime in real life. Ive only seen them on the internet. I think once you meet a girl and yall click you'll drop the incel shit and move on.

It's not that you *should* want a partner, but why settle for that kind of fatalism?

You owe yourself more than that.

It is possible be content in life with or without a partner. Maybe it'd be good to try and pursue the latter for a while. But that's not to say that you need to close any doors completely.

I think you just need to remain open minded. I had a lot of great relationships with men but they all ended too but that's normal because many people have to go through heartbreak before finding the person that will never leave them and that they love and who loves them unconditionally. Sometimes it takes longer for others but anyone can find someone, literally anyone. Just remember that. There are all kinds of people out there and they are all capable of ending up with someone.

It’s fine to have high standards but why not focus on living up to them yourself? You should be going into relationships already satisfied in life rather than expecting another to do it for you.
Also, if you genuinely aren’t interested wouldn’t you be volcel rather than incel?

It's positive that you have sufficient insight to recognise what's going on in your head. A lot of people never achieve that, and they go through life as the puppet of feelings that they don't acknowledge, don't understand and have no control over.

It is true that all relationships end. Say you found your Mr or Ms Perfect at the age of 16, were blissfully happy for every moment of your time together, never wanted to be apart and stuck together for decades. What's going to happen to that fantasy perfect relationship in the end? One of you is going to die and leave the other. And, yeah, that's a fucking depressing thought, but it's reality.

But then all lives ultimately end in death and oblivion. If you want to focus on that, fine, it's your life and your choice, but you're going to be miserable and you're going to make everyone you encounter miserable as well.

Thinking that anything is hopeless and pointless before you even begin it is a recipe for failure. I suspect that either you're suffering from some degree of depression, or you're setting your standards unrealistically high and focusing on the fundamental hopelessness of relationships because you want to avoid the risk of psychological pain. If you were to put the blame for your own cowardice onto women, that would be pure deflection; it's always much easier to blame someone else for our failures than it is to acknowledge that we're the one who's really to blame for the problems in our life.

Incels are pathetic, delusional fools. Rather than recognising that they've somehow acquired delusional beliefs about their perceived value in the mating market and doing something about that, like a spoiled six-year-old who's been told that he can't eat the whole carton of ice cream on his own, they whine about how unfair life is. Rather than accepting that they aren't a 10 in terms of personality, appearance, and resources and that this reduces the pool of women who might consider them a reasonable match, they remain fixated on the idea that they're FUCKING ENTITLED to have a gorgeous girlfriend, they demean any women who don't fit their media-programmed standards of beauty, and they refuse to lower their sights.

I'm the same way but I'm a woman. I gave up on humans a long time ago. I can't even see an attractive person irl because my standards are even higher than yours.

Its normal to feel cynical, yes. It comes within and it's really yourself and your confidence you need to work on by becoming more secure and comfortable within your own skin. Easier said than done, yes, but nothing good in life comes easy. Put romantic relationship aside for now.
You're right in people being flawed, yourself included. Eventually you meet someone who's flaws you're willing to look past and whom accepts you for who you are as well, but you might need to lower your demands first and expect nothing, instead of expecting perfection and get disappointed.
You say your former relationships were "exciting"... I get the appeal of exciting but it rarely lasts in the longterm. "Exciting" is what you look for when you're looking for something shortterm, someone to have some fun with... When it comes to serious relationships it should feel safe, secure, stable... If that's not something you desire, then you simply aren't ready for what a relationship really is and that's okay. There's also the fact that while you're in a toxic mindset and feeling you'll desire someone who's on the same level and it will turn into a toxic relationship quickly, and most likely not a lasting one. That's also why it's important to work on yourself first.

I completely understand where you're coming from !! I came out 4 years ago and have failed to find a relationship and I realized NOT ONLY do men SUCK but so do WOMEN:/
WOMEN are superficial, not as caring and kind as I envisioned, fickle with no substance. Men on the ither hand are dick thinkers.

Oh well.