A relationship with my cousin

YOU ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL. There are many uninformed people in the U.S. regarding cousin relationships. Visit www.cousincouples.com and read the info. There was also an article in the New York Times regarding cousins marrying and having children. The risk is VERY low.

http://www.nytimes.com/2002/04/04/us/few-risks-seen-to-the-children-of-1st-cousins.html

By the way, my 1st cousin and I have been married 8 yrs and are expecting our first daughter. She is perfectly healthy in every way! (and we were married in the Catholic Church, which was fully aware. :)

Tami(39122), Its funny i was Just reading your post i hope you guys are still together.....i had a similar experience except in my case she kissed me in back of a taxi lol! I was already in a relationship of five years and then I went on vacation which I didn't really wanted to go but my mother said it's been so long since I went (almost ten years) and so I caved and at that time my girl said "take care of yourself and don't do anything stupid" now I'm an honest guy and I get along with everyone so I didn't expect to do anything crazy and plus I never really cheated on anyone before so to make long story short I went on that trip back home and instantly fell for my 1st cousin who was all grown up and just stunningly beautiful with green eyes brunette and her hair cut down into layers just how I liked it on a girl and she has this nice soft white skin but not too white I mean it's just perfect and so I took one look at her and I thought "this girl must have a line full of boyfriends and guys after her, I just have no chance" but within three days she confessed to me when we went alone to get pizza and bring it back and that's when she said that she liked me and I told her I liked her too and whatever we stared at each other and laughed and hugged and then we got our pizza and left and in the taxi she sat really close to me with our hands locked and then within a couple miles in the ride almost getting back home she lifts up her seat and kisses me and I just couldn't believe it cus a second later I was going to do the same thing well anyways we've been talking on the phone for a few months now I'll be going back to see her and spend christmas and new years with her. I really thought the distance would kill us after a few weeks but it has made our love stronger and now we just want to live together. My point is you never know who you are going to fall in love with an it's true that the heart wants what the heart wants, I've never been so in love with someone like I am now it's amazing! And there's nothing wrong with being cousins, turns out we have a lot of married cousins in our family who all have kids and they were born just fine!

IF U LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES YOU THEN THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO !!!!!! IT EVEN RHYMES!!!!

i have been there i dated and had sex with her so you are not alone the heart wants wat the heart wants. so i say don't fight just embrace it and enjoy it

If a relationship is safe, sane, and consenual then there's nothing wrong with it.

You're both consenting, you don't plan on doing anything crazy, and it's perfectly safe.

If you love each other, there's nothing wrong with it. There's no danger of having "mutant babies" or anything in cousin couples (as far as I know).

Well is he your first cousin? And I say as long as your legally divorced then go for it. Just no children! I can understand where you are coming from. Just be safe and keep it on the DL if possible.

i dont see whats so wrong with being in love with ur cousin.
im in love with my cousin & yes she does know how i feel.
we have been naked together but have not had sex yet.
she is beautifull & we get on great together.
i say good luck to you both & go for it....

i am in a similar situation my cousin and i just bacame of age and i really really really wish i could tell her but i just dont have the cojones i wish she would give me something to work with but it is wat it is and trust me u are normal

This is pervasive and on going throughout the world, do as your heart leads you to do

I find myself in a similar situation, but I'm afraid that mine is more complicated. My wife has zero interest in sex, but I still want it. My cousin, lost her husband 2 years ago (we're both 57). We were always attracted to each other but never did anything about it. She recently confided in me that she misses the sex very much and we have always been very open with each other with talking about relationships. Her family is set and she can't get pregnant and I have no kids nor do I want any. I am considering approaching her about becoming "friends with benefits". Any comments?

Its perfectly ok to be in a relationship with a cousin.. There is nothing wrong about it in the bible.. You can have children.. I know two different relationships where cousins get married and have smart beautiful kids.. First set of cousins are first cousins and the second are third cousins.. True Love finds you when you least expect it.. God Bless You both.. When the family finds out it will be challenging but at then end of the day its just you and him..

My first cousin & I re-connected last spring on facebook; I was always very close with his younger siblings but because he's older we didn't hang out much when we were kids. Started chatting, didn't take much time to get to know each other again; we just clicked. Flirting began almost immediately, we developed a very close, trusting relationship, relying on each other for advice and support. Things got intense as we opened up to each other more and admitted that we each always had "feelings" for the other. He told me one day he was falling in love with me and I said I feel the same. He was serving overseas at the time, but we got together in the summer for a family event. The attraction was undeniable in every way...physical, mental, emotional. Neither one of us has ever felt anything so strong for another person. We did end up kissing and having sex, a couple times...the BEST EVER! Unbelievable chemistry! He had to go back, I was left behind to deal with some family that found out about it. I don't see what's so wrong if it's legal in most states and we make each other happy and are deeply in love. Why do people have to make such a big deal out of it. It's not like we're molesting or taking advantage of someone or committing a criminal act. Go for it. P.S. I too am married; abusive relationship, getting divorced...long story. Shouldn't have cheated, I know that was wrong. But it's not the horrific thing that people around me are making it out to be. I wish people were more educated on cousin relationships.

hey if it aint yo bro or sis then it aint really big deal. ppl used ta do dat all da time. dats how dey kept da money in da family. do u girl.

i think its normal love is love u cant help who you fall for my 1st cousin and i are in a relationship and ive never been as happy we love each other and dats al dat matters he is the love of my life and maybe one day we wil hav our own family after al the tests of course look wat im tryin to say is go 4 it he kissed me in the back of a taxi and look what happend

me and my cousins were very curious as kids of 5 yrs old !! we would make out and show our privates i feel its wrong but cool at times!

Hi.. I'm in my 30s and been married for 12 years with 2 kids.. About 5 years ago I met my cousin and we've both been madly in love with eachother since then.. Everything about us is perfect. We want to do everything together and everything together is SO PERFECT! Initially I resisted what I was feeling for him and asked him to move on.. He started dating some girl about a year and a half ago.. During this time he's come to visit me twice and I realized I can no longer fight what I feel for him and told him so.. I know he's loved me since day one.. He's now broken up with his gf.. Now we're both certain that we cannot be away from eachother anymore.. Our families will not accept us.. I love my children to bits but I also love my cousin just as much.. My husband is an excellent father to our children and I've considered leaving them behind and running away with my cousin so we can be together for the rest of our life.. I don't know what to do..

Update: we decided to meet up a couple times, nothing happened. Until recently. We Finally hooked up and 1 month later I find out we're not even blood related. Turns put my dad, his uncle, is not my bio dad. What a relieve!

FDR and his wife were first cousins.I have a second cousin I've had the hots for sense we were old enough to know each other.I have found out she always had it for me. She never had children and the thought of banging her gets the wood moving.If that chance ever comes I'll jump at it.

I use to slip the johnson in my cousin we had great fun for many years. It was great.

Its frowned upon, but I can sort of understand. I have a cousin who is pretty and im close to, but I dont feel that way about her and I dont think I ever will.

It isn't completely wrong, but as someone else said, do not have children and make sure you are legally divorced.

My cousin had a huge crush on me for a number of years and I kinda liked him too...thank goodness I'm adopted and we weren't blood related- that would be gross!

I can relate with Brit and Rob. And I'm happy for them, they were brave enough to be together. Mine started when I received a text from my cousin who was around 12 years old, while I was 22 at that time. He told me he had a crush on me, I was laughing and didn't take it seriously, I find him cute and not creepy. As I was finishing college, he would always ask if we could see each other, and I agreed, I thought maybe he was just curious, and he'd just want to explore, so, as an older cousin, I felt that it was my responsibility to guide and support him, with the thought that he'd eventually forget his feelings for me as he grew older and become more experienced. He's a good looking guy and lots of girls were attracted to him. but he would still want us to always see each other, then we started to become more sexually attracted as he turned 15, and have had sex occasionally. I felt so much guilt, though we've been doing it for years. But then I realised, I never felt more secure with anyone else, but him. We both had our own relationships and didn't work. So we started to see each other more often. We just felt that we could trust each other, we felt very comfortable with each other. Though, we both know that we cant really take it to the next level. We just couldn't help ourselves, and we would just enjoy being with each other, instead of thinking what is right. We've been seeing each other secretly for 10 years now. No future plans. No expectations. Just enjoying each other's company.

My cousin is 4 years younger than me and I've had a crush on her for literally forever so I think it's normal

Ok so I had to comment and share my story. My 1st cousin and I have been real worried about telling our family and what will happen. So when we were 13 14 we realized we were attracted to one another and stuff started happening between us. Even after through the years (even if we were with another person we would fool around) so off and on pretty much in a open relationship that none of our bfs or gfs know about still. So we are almost 30 now she has two kids I have none. We met up the other day and for years nothing has happened I thought she had forgot about us. So she messaged me saying something since we were in same house together. She asked me to stay the night so we could "talk" we did and then made love. It took me right back to all the other times and happiness. We both spilt our guts. All the people we've been with that just didn't work out. Dreaming over the years and saying each others names in our sleep. We realized nothing was working with anyone over the years. Its because we are really in love and nothing changed that over the 11 year period. We are finally together and are staying together we have a very rough and mean family so we are worried. We have told eachother now that we are together nothing is gonna stop us and she wants to give me my first child. We are two of the most attractive people I've ever seen. One good thing though is once everyone finds out, all the females that asked me who I was thinking about and where was my mind? Now they will know why and who and why I could not be honest I feel bad for leading them on but I didn't want to be alone and couldn't be with my "twin flame/woman I'm in love with" this would make a great movie lol maybe lifetime lmao. Thank y'all for this QandA because I'm letting her read them and I hope everything works out for anyone else who has issue with this. Please be with that person if its like us. We could have saved a lot of time tears and pain if we just said fuck everyone and been together. 11 years nd we are finally together and being honest with one another and I've never been happier mentally soulfully and physically back to my woman. The girl of my dreams the love of my life mind body and soul <3 Brittany and Robert <3

Its normal , I'm in that situation right now me amd my cousin been texting all day , all the time I've always seen him at family party's and he told me how he felt and now were both in a relationship . we both know the family isn't gonna aprove but we dont care were going to keep doing what we want , can't nobody stop us from how we feel about each other keep doing you girl !!

In 2012 I was in a very unhappy marriage been married for 26 years had two grown children one son and one daughter, and my youngest a daughter was 15 at the time. My husband at the time was ignoring me, did not show love or affection towards me and I knew something was not right then I started catching up to all his lies. I started on Facebook we found out we were second cousins have never met in our life and I was scared how I was starting to feel the emotions scared me, we talked on the phone for hours we became close, trusting relationship, relying on each other for advice and support. In time we admitted that we each had "feelings" for the other it was scary how do we handle this. He came down for a visit we met up in August 2012 then he went back and things were getting worse in my home life family pressures me taking taking of everybody except myself so in October 2012 I met him left my husband told him I was leaving we both agreed on a divorce but, then in my absentance my husband plays these mind games in my absentance he plays the role of the victim turned my family, friends, against me. I came back to my home state in April 2013 filed for a divorce got full custody of my youngest daughter and got the home in my divorce settlement. I lived in a small community it was amazing people I thought were my friends not my friends anymore once people found out why is it a man can leave his wife but, a woman can't leave her husband without being ridiculed. We got married June 2014 it has not been easy living in a small community, also my grown kids turned against me but, my youngest now she is 18 years old now it has been hard also family members turned against us my brothers and sisters turned against me also my parents. I didn't have the support of a loving family and they invite my ex to their house for holidays is just weird, I had to put some distance between me and my family was to much control they tried to tell me a 46 year old woman how to live her life was told I didn't do what they say they were leaving me out of the will which I could care less. We live in the same town which makes it hard. I had to set boundaries with my family and yes I do love my grown children and am not allowed to see my grandchildren that I love dearly and miss them my parents control everybody with power, control, and money I have a very toxic family. It is never easy for anyone in any relationship but, cousin issues are the hardest because there are so many emotions from everyone and I had my entire family involved in my and my husband at time split which made it harder they involved themselves. Be prepared to take a stand as I did also always check with your state to see what state laws are involving cousin marriages if my family could have had me arrested they would but, second cousin marriages is legal in my state. My ex has called welfare checks, anything he can do to cause trouble I always have to be two steps ahead of them. Be prepared you might have to set boundaries and distance yourself from your family as I have but, Brandon is the love of my life and we did sit my youngest daughter down talk to her about it and she understands the situation. We never bring up to anyone we are second cousins figured is our business. I had to make a hard choice but, found the love of my life he makes me happy and he is so good to my daughter and I still love my adult children and hope someday they come around maybe when they are not so controlled by my family.

I say it's not normal because it isn't normal, that's a fact. Is it wrong? That is the question. I found this looking for advice on the same issue as I have the same feelings for my cousin. From what I've found, it's not a bad thing, and it's even legal in half the United States. Furthermore, the Bible does not speak against it, so if you're religious you don't have to worry about that.

Me and my cousin both have had past relationships with other. But the connect and feel and desire we have for each other is uncomparable. Is it Normal?

hahahah !! I can so very well relate with this, me and my cousin, my moms cousin brother son. got in touch for the first time, 2 years ago. we became friends and now are mad for each other. saddest part being, scared of society i got hitched to a guy of my dads choice and havent told him about this. but i and my cousin both still love each other. i dono if i should continue with the new person or stay loyal to my cousin love. and plz someone tell me are we even cousins?

It's normal yes, but it can pose a slightly higher risk of pregnancy complications and can cause severe defects if the child of yours is to also reproduce with a cousin.

I so kw hw it feels.i am in a relationship wid my cousin.in nt situation is our age difference as well.i olde then him n being a girl m the one blamed for iniating the relationship.we havnt seen eachother for months knw cz of the distNce as he lives in fiji n i live in new zealand but the love is still there.m going to fiji to meet him in a week.the problem started a few months back whn hia mum n sis found out n frm then we r nt allowed to talkd to eachother but we still do without ny one knowing.his sis has told all my cousins abt us n recently my eldr cousin talked to me n hw all this is wrong.n wat impact it will ev on our family n may even create conflicts in our family between brothers. N since m elder i will b blamed 4 everything. So rite nw n jst totaly confused as to wat to do.i love him n he love me madly. There r so many situations to consider.i wantd to giv him time to grow older like atleast 2 yrs.n then after that lets c if we still wana continue it...wats u guys thoughts?

I am surprised there are soo many people who think this is ok

Yes its normal. my sister and i have been having sex together since we are 15&16. we are now 51&52 and still having sex. we have two grown kids together.

I really like my aunt. Is that wrong
.ive had a few wanks thinking of her

There was a time when I wanted to do my really foxy 2nd cousin and I am sure she also knew. Now she has kids and all well I will never know. Kinda a turn on for me when I reminisce...

reat=rest

Btw, I'm sorry, but I forgot to mention to you that, yes, I do think that you are normal. Just be very discreet, as I doubt if the reat of your family would approve if you were found out.

I personally don't think its normal but I guess it fine just as long as you guys don't have kids...please for the sake of the children DON'T have kids...

i guess make sure one of ya'll is fixed and go for it

For the sake of your marriage, don't meet with him. Regardless that he is family, your basically cheating on him. If your doing something that your husband doesn't know about, and you don't want him to find out about it, that constitutes as bad as cheating. You need to stop talking to your cousin, at least until you figure things out with your husband. And really, if you let the marriage fail so you can continue the charade with your cousin, like is that honestly a relationship that could develop in the future? probably not, as your family. So you need to get over him.