Age to become 'responsible'

I would say 40. 40 is when people start looking at you with pity if you don't have anything to show for it. It doesn't have to be marriage and kids though. You can do whatever you want with your life. As long as you are achieving things and are happy, that is all that matters.

I can't think of anything worse than getting married and having children if you don't really want to.

As a 25-year-old childfree woman who also has no desire to marry, or even date, I feel you. Thankfully, my family is pretty understanding, but I've received judgment from others. I just let it roll off of my back, because really, if your decisions make you happy and aren't hurting anyone, whose business is it to tell you to do anything different?

I highly disagree that being married and having children automatically equals having one's "shit together" or being responsible. I know so many married couples with children who are in some sort of mess or another, whether it be financial, marriage troubles, etc. The idea that just being married and having kids means you've got it together and are a successful adult is an illusion, and the reason people are trying to make you feel bad about your choices is because they aren't happy with their own lives (and are possibly regretful about their own choices), and misery loves company.

The idea that married with children automatically equals "responsible adult" is laughable, considering how many married people with kids I know who are the complete opposite of that. I could easily give off 10 examples of people I know off of the top of my head.

Do what makes YOU happy, and screw the rest. If the people in your life can't accept the choices that make you happy and have no effect on them, it may be time to cut them out. Definitely do not do something you don't want to please others, especially with life decisions as big as these, because you will only end up making yourself miserable. Friends don't try to pressure friends into doing things they don't want to do and have no benefit to them (and if marriage and children are not for you, then they don't have any benefit to you).

I've learned long ago that it is okay to go against the grain as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else, and other people don't have to like it. I have been telling people "No thanks, it's not for me" and having to reiterate that over, and over, and over again for years. Everything from this exact issue to not wanting to remodel my house to the current trendy contemporary style (yes, people are even extremely pushy about silly shit like that). People won't like it, but that's their problem and you're not obligated to live your life and make very personal decisions for others.

I didn't get married until into my 50's; because I had not yet met the lady that matched my expectations for marriage. When I did - we quickly got married. My wife has a similar story... she wanted to wait until the right one as well.

Now we both had past partners where we though we would get married: but, in the end that did not work out.

At the same time; most of my high school classmates have been divorced at least once, many twice or more.

Its far better to wait for the "right one" (who is out there) than to get married and have it fail (very costly for both parties - and does not generally help the kids).

Its even better, in my opinion, to never get married at all than to have a bad marriage.

So, relax a bit. Have some fun, and keep an eye open for someone who has the values and thought patterns you are looking for.

Best of luck with this,

You need to do what you want to do with your life. If friends don’t like your choices tell them to butt out. There is no law that says you should be married with kids at any age. There is also nothing wrong with being single and not being tied down with responsibilities. Just remember though that if you want to have kids, your body will at some point be beyond the age of getting pregnant.

What ever you do don’t have a child for the sake of having one, you will resent them and it will show. The worst parents are nearly always the ones who never wanted to be parents.

I’m glad I come from a big family as when I’m 40 and have never been married with 0 kids (I’m asexual and never want kiddies) people won’t care so much, it will be fewer names for them to remember.

Starting a family or even finding a partner is not the default goal.

If you are happy being single and have the career, education, home and vehicle you have, it shouldn't matter what others think. If you aren't happy being single, then you won't be happy being married. I don't know why people think that being married and/or having children think it's a right of passage. For me, it was early 20s. I had job, home and car along with college education. Depending on your scenario, this could vary. I don't have time to procreate or desire. I know people push that crap on me and I tell them I am not interested. I also don't want to be married to someone that makes me miserable.

Theyre probably just worried you might change your mind and want a kid later but it could be too late. It takes alot of energy to raise kids. Hard to start doing in your 40s or 50s lol

If you have them now by the time you retire they will be gone and out of your hair

Late 20s I would say is when you should be acting on full "adult" mode. Though where you set the limit is up to you.