Alien visiting planet earth seeks contributors to inter galactic book

75% Normal

My name is strababolefeoife98tkdjkds. I am visiting this planet you humans call Earth from another planet in a very distant star system.

We noticed your website through the Super Luminary Wormhole Web Connection (SLWHWC) and though its primitive in the xtreme we felt is it normal gave us the best cross section of humanity.

We come in peace and are currently distributing on our home planet what you people would call a ‘book’ among our own shibarugokx (ths word roughly translats as 'people' in your language but we are not people in the same sense).

The title of the book is called "To Serve Humanity”.

Are any of you 'humans' interested in contributing to a chapter of this book?

If so we can be in telepathic communication and we will arrange to meet you / teleport you to a place of your choosing.

End message: strababolefeoife98tkdjkds f99e99**983309898_ star_7_system_ galaxy sector_212 TSH_project_teegeeak_ procure_menu_items_xotic_mt

Voting Results

75% Normal

Based on 16 votes (12 yes)

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!

[ Report Post ]

Comments ( 13 )

ArmusWasTheFirstTroll

8 years ago | pl

Best cross section of humanity? You be blazin' dat space ganja, huh?

Comment Hidden ( show )

7

7
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  It is I: strababolefeoife98tkdjkds speaking now.
  
  We do take in substances that alter our perspective but it is not plant based.
  
  On our planet we have creatures called shibodqoi, they have 19 legs, 5 eyes, 3 sexual organs and 7 grasping claw structures.
  
  If we drink the excretions from their brandrigertickols (the organ of excretion equivalent to what humans would call an 'asshole' or 'anus' ) we get very high for around 14 of your Earth hours.
  
  During that time it is forbidden for us to engage in the use of Faster Than Light Light vessels or Wormholes or to have sex with our pets.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  1
  
  1
seekelp

8 years ago

It's a cookbook! A COOKBOOK!

Comment Hidden ( show )

2

2
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ
  ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ ლ(`◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)
  
  Drishobiborgbxt! Our cover is blown. We were hoping you wouldn't get that reference. We now have to find another planet with human-like life forms that are even stupider and more tasty than we've found here.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  1
  
  1
  - Cuntsiclestick
    
    8 years ago
    
    I ate an entire pint of Ben And Jerry's Chunky Monkey Ice Cream. Eating my flesh would probably give you a sugar rush so massive that your teeth will come out of your nipples.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    4
    
    4
    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      8 years ago
      
      yummmmm.... Cuntsiclestick with Chunky Monkey icecream... we will include that as a recipe in our publication.... and did someone say nipples? I think we'll have to make a special trip back to Earth just to sample your sweetness. I hope you don't mind teleportation.
      
      益─=≡Σ((( •́)ง つ┻━┻ )ლ(`◉
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      1
      
      1
eastbeast

8 years ago

You should post this on the David Icke forum. Some of the nutjobs there will actually think you are a real Alien.

Comment Hidden ( show )

1

1
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Yes we shall put in an appearance there, *tentacles and alien appendages waving *
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  1
  
  1
JD777

8 years ago

If you mean "serve humanity" as in serving a meal, other aliens say we taste like chicken.

Comment Hidden ( show )

1

1
lordofopinions

5 years ago

Please!! This post is a total waste of space. Rule one. Do not smoke weed and drink beer while contemplating posting here.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
ManWithNoFriends

8 years ago

You have too much time on yourself.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
notaterrorist

8 years ago

I hear human meat tastes like pork. in Papua new Guinea, they call it long pig

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  8 years ago
  
  Thanks for the tip and the reminder... but we know already. That's the whole point of visiting your planet.
  
  On the way out of your planetary system we are going to first drop into PNG highlands for a snack – we're going to taste some of that sweet PNG long pig.
  
  Easy to disguise ourselves as visiting ancestors too. You humans will believe anything.
  
  ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0

Are You Normal?

Alien visiting planet earth seeks contributors to inter galactic book