Am i being over dramatic about lasts night sex?

Just for a preface, me and my boyfriend are both 18 and he’s great but i don’t know what to make of this. Also this is written like a watt pad but i’m just trying to describe the situation as it went.

Last night K kept pressuring me i guess to have sex while i was under the influence, he had also been under the influence but not as much as me at all. We began kissing and things and i was okay with that but i could feel him getting hard and i knew he’d try and get something going so i said that I didn’t wanna have sex because i was so out of it and he said that’s fine and we continued to kiss. He then was groping me and grinding on me and I again said “i don’t want to have sex” He said “do you really not” and i responded with “not really” and he said “okay that’s fine we can just chill” and we did chill and watched some family guy. After a few episodes he turned it off and we cuddled and again began kissing and he tried taking my shirt off I had a feeling this was going to lead to other pieces of clothing being removed so i tried to ruin the mood by giggling and being silly which didn’t seem to bother him and he continued. He tried taking my shirts off and i said “i don’t want to fuck” and he said “we don’t have to just take these off” (sometimes we cuddle naked and i thought maybe this was the situation so i agreed). He then took my thongs of with that, pulled his boxers down and started to rub himself on me and i asked “what happened to not having sex” He slid it in me and responded with “do you really not wanna have sex” and three strokes later and no response he stopped and asked again “well it doesn’t matter now so we’ll continue” i replied and he made me pinky promise that i did want to have sex but in my mind i knew i didn’t but i just felt like if he ignored that many no’s there was zero point telling him to stop plus i was nowhere near being sober. I felt really uncomfortable during the whole act and it didn’t help that i wasn’t of sober mind.

I don’t want to call him a rapist or say that i was raped because a lot of people have had a situation like that turn a lot worse but i’m just so uncomfortable now.
I guess i just want advice on what i should say or do and do i even have the right to be upset when i should’ve just tried to make him understand i didn’t want to continue??? I don’t know.

There has been other occasions where i’ve said “K, I don’t feel well i don’t want to have sex” but he’ll touch me and “try to get me in the mood” i guess and i just go along with it because i have a hard time setting boundaries.

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 6 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • sweetone89

    Get rid of him. He has no respect for you. If you want to keep it private, and not call the police, I'd respect that.

    But you deserve someone who honors you and will listen to, "NO."

    And, no, you are not being dramatic. Your sexual boundaries were violated.

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  • Curiouskitten444

    Please try not to down play this. This is sexual coercion and just the beginning of an abusive relationship. Get out while you can. I went through the same thing. It will be hard and he will try to guilt trip tou but you deserve so much better and so much better will find you.

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  • JellyBeanBandit

    Yeah it wasn't rape, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't a very shitty thing for him to do, it was. He knew you didn't want to do it, that you only went through with it because you were pressured into it and didn't want to get angry with him. I'd have a stern talk with him that that was really inconsiderate of him, and that you don't want him to do it again.

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    • ospry

      Asking for consent doesn't count if he's just going to do what he feels like regardless of the answer. This was absolutely rape

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    Probably every married woman on the planet will experience this atleast once. No means not right now but you never said he couldnt try again in 20 minutes. Lol im joking. But not really.

    Im assuming yall are already sexually active with eachother and you love him. Im assuming everyone will comment "DUMP YOUR BOYFRIEND!" But I think this is extremely common and every woman will experience this with her boyfriend. If thats rape then we have lowered standards for what is rape.

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  • RoseIsabella

    He's a rapist, dump him.

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  • ospry

    You could be his wife and it would still be rape if he put himself inside you after you said multiple times that you didn't want it

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  • Orphan

    Maybe you like a little force play, and he knows this so he's just playing around with you. Maybe you don't like force play, and if that's the case, you'll feel used for the rest of the time you're with him.
    So, you decide.

    I just wanna add, you basically got 2 options:
    A) if you like a little force play like that, keep him
    B) if you don't like a little force play, leave him

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  • darefu

    I voted normal because as 1wg said most of us have gone through this.

    That doesn't make it right but your options are,
    1. get more forceful let him know no, not now, I don't want to, all mean NO! Pour ice water on his cock,
    2. Dump him, there are a lot of fish out there that will treat you right,
    3. And my favorite, don't get drunk with him. Take the alcohol out of the picture. Let him get drunk on his own. Your responsible for your own body and what you do with it, but that's a challenge when alcohol or drugs are involved.

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    • Orphan

      I don't think her getting drunk is the problem here.

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      • darefu

        I somewhat agree, however she alluded to herself being way too intoxicated to say no and enforce it various times, and that her judgement was off. Which I agree is what happens when you use alcohol but, she also states he has done this before. At that point if you elect to get too intoxicated with someone you know is that way then you have to accept some responsibility. Then we are back to what I said three choices.

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