Am i being over dramatic about lasts night sex?
Just for a preface, me and my boyfriend are both 18 and he’s great but i don’t know what to make of this. Also this is written like a watt pad but i’m just trying to describe the situation as it went.
Last night K kept pressuring me i guess to have sex while i was under the influence, he had also been under the influence but not as much as me at all. We began kissing and things and i was okay with that but i could feel him getting hard and i knew he’d try and get something going so i said that I didn’t wanna have sex because i was so out of it and he said that’s fine and we continued to kiss. He then was groping me and grinding on me and I again said “i don’t want to have sex” He said “do you really not” and i responded with “not really” and he said “okay that’s fine we can just chill” and we did chill and watched some family guy. After a few episodes he turned it off and we cuddled and again began kissing and he tried taking my shirt off I had a feeling this was going to lead to other pieces of clothing being removed so i tried to ruin the mood by giggling and being silly which didn’t seem to bother him and he continued. He tried taking my shirts off and i said “i don’t want to fuck” and he said “we don’t have to just take these off” (sometimes we cuddle naked and i thought maybe this was the situation so i agreed). He then took my thongs of with that, pulled his boxers down and started to rub himself on me and i asked “what happened to not having sex” He slid it in me and responded with “do you really not wanna have sex” and three strokes later and no response he stopped and asked again “well it doesn’t matter now so we’ll continue” i replied and he made me pinky promise that i did want to have sex but in my mind i knew i didn’t but i just felt like if he ignored that many no’s there was zero point telling him to stop plus i was nowhere near being sober. I felt really uncomfortable during the whole act and it didn’t help that i wasn’t of sober mind.
I don’t want to call him a rapist or say that i was raped because a lot of people have had a situation like that turn a lot worse but i’m just so uncomfortable now.
I guess i just want advice on what i should say or do and do i even have the right to be upset when i should’ve just tried to make him understand i didn’t want to continue??? I don’t know.
There has been other occasions where i’ve said “K, I don’t feel well i don’t want to have sex” but he’ll touch me and “try to get me in the mood” i guess and i just go along with it because i have a hard time setting boundaries.