Am i creepier than men?

I feel like I’m a creepy old man in the body of an 18 year old girl. I’ve been stalking this boy since fourth grade. He is now 19 and in college, he recently blocked me on Pinterest, I hate the fact he doesn’t love me back, I feel like I need to get sexually aggressive with men and forcing myself on them, beating them and holding them down. I’ve gotten way too much platonic love and never mutual, the amount of platonic love I get sometimes annoys me, I become jealous of the other girls around me because they have someone who loves them back. I constantly masturbate to the thought of myself dominating a weak male, I’ve never moaned during masturbation, I have no clue why. I’ve been masturbating since I was 5 and didn’t even know there was a word for it then. I have a very specific type, uncircumcised Asian males. I was on the bus a week ago with an Asian male. I asked if I could hug him, which he let me, he only let me for a few minutes, then he started to pull away. I got mad when he did, but I didn’t show it. I kept asking him for more and he said no. I also have been humping pillows and plushies to get rid of this aggressive “sexual tension” which only works temporarily. I’ve said weird sexual things to men that have deeply terrified them, like something a creepy old man would say, something that shouldn’t be coming out of a woman’s mouth. I feel more masculine than I should, I do not feel like I’m transgender or anything, I just feel extremely masculine for a woman, I even smell like a man, like terrible pit funk. I don’t know what is happening to me.