Am i going to survive this?!

So, here's the breakdown. I've been suffering with Major Depressive Disorder for the last 6 years. The first episode lasted almost 6 months, most of the ones that followed were about 1 or 2 and the current one I'm in has lasted just over 3 and counting.

Relationship wise: I have never been involved in a romantic relationship with a person, ever. I'm also over 30 now.

I've worked hard at the jobs I'm at, but I can't advance in most places now due to this condition. They don't want a depressive as a manager or team leader and it basically butchers future job options as well. So now I'm stuck back at home, running out of money and no options available for a future career.

My friends I see about once every 2 months on average, same with other family members. My mother has become problematic with age, constantly combative and very quick to anger.

Lately something rather scarey has been happening. I've always had nightmares due to the depression, it was often a signal a new episode was starting. Lately a similar theme has been showing up. Death. Either me getting shot, stabbed, burned, or seeing others in the same scenario. I hate them and I always wake up in a cold sweat from them. It makes it harder to sleep and with less sleep I've started experiencing mild auditory hallucinations. Basically hearing someone whisper over my shoulder, either my name or a simple "Hey"

I can't afford medication, I don't have proper benefits, my friends know about my problems but won't help. My mother doesn't seem to care, my family is indifferent. Am I gonna die?