Am i overconfident about my writing abilities?

WARNING: LENGTHY POST

I’m an aspiring writer. I have a few ideas in my head, but one in particular I’m very passionate about. I won’t reveal too much about it, but I will say that I have taken inspiration from many of my own favorite franchises, and I dream that some day mine will find similar success. But the sad reality is that there’s no garuntee of this, but I want to try as hard as I can.

I have shared it with a few beta readers, and while they have offered constructive criticism, all of them have liked it so far, one in friend in particular I made from it has told me how great they think it is. I’m kinda superstitious, and I’ve had weird experiences like dreams that seemed almost to predict events significant to my book’s creation. It gives me a feeling, almost like it’s some sort of divine gift for the world, like it’s my destiny to write it. But of course, I could be wrong, and all of this could just be coincidence. But it helps me find purpose in life, because I felt very without one before my inspiration came.

But even so, I sometimes find myself feeling guilty about doing activities (like watching tv or playing on my phone) instead of writing, but I tell myself that maybe the show I’m watching or the game I’m playing will give me some inspiration. I try to think of writing like a fun activity, and not like work. But sometimes it feels too easy, and I think “if it’s so easy to come up with a story why doesn’t everyone do it?” And I do often look up online how to create a great story, and similarly I wonder “If this person knows so much, why haven’t they created something like that?”

But I promise, I do try to work hard. I think of character traits, of significant events in the story, for life lessons that may be learned. The tricky part though is trying to fit them all together. I’m trying to do something similar to what George Lucas did with Star Wars, and pay homage to some of my favorite things, and maybe appeal to people subconsciously (although it’s a bit harder to do that with a book as it’s all in the mind). I try to be familiar, but do enough unique things so it doesn’t seem unoriginal.

It’s just that I have this all or nothing mentality. If I put in all this effort and my book is a flop, then I would feel I had nothing to live for. In this day and age though, it’s practically impossible to NOT at least get published, albeit online and for free, but I’m hoping it will do well. I have very big dreams and want to do a lot with my life, but I have to think of what to do if things don’t go quite the way I imagine.