Am i the bad “guy”
I am currently in an open swinger type relationship. Not really happy about the open part but it seems like this is the last stop before a break up. I’m All for a swinger life style but my bf is like 110% about that life and I’m like a family girl who would prefer to dabble on occasion over being in it in some form daily. I’m not joking like EVERY day I have to hear about it from him in some form.
I’ve told him how I need it to be just us sometimes and I feel that we need to be giving each other 100% before we can give anything away to others and he feels he does but he doesn’t. He rarely plans Family stuff and will be too tired for me but will go out on work nights if it means sex with others.
Any how I know all that sounds bad we have been through a lot and really have been doing better on communication and stuff.
What I am here for is this:
I have insomnia and sometimes need to masturbate in order to sleep and I told him about it the next day, he gets all hot and bothered over it and said he’s going to really give it to me tonight, all day he was talking about it and it got me excited because he never really puts effort in just me and him without having to always bring others into it so it’s Thursday I’m excited thinking He is going to get creative tonight… I only got 3 hours of sleep last night because of my stupid insomnia so I’m exhausted but I’m so excited that maybe he will wear me out and I can sleep!
Then he gets home and I find out he’s panning on taking me to a hotel to tag team me with some guy we met once… like I said we are in the “lifestyle” so it’s not a no never but I was just a little disappointed because I thought he was going to give me some attention tonight not more “swinger” stuff AGAIN…on a work night, when I’m a walking zombie.
So this new thing we are doing is trying to communicate more so I did tell him respectfully I was a little disappointed but that we could go and I got in the shower to get ready…
Then he gets mad at me and cancels, I was going to go through with it even thought I didn’t feel like it (I know I shouldn’t) but I just don’t get it…
How am I the asshole because I just want to be with him sometimes… he says we have sex multiple times a week just us but literally is out Of necessity really… and no warm up for me at all just bj for him, a quickie sex and done or just bj for him most times he doesn’t even touch me first.
So now he’s upset at me and all that work up today and no D for me… how am I the bad guy? I feel that we should both agree and know if someone else will be joining and he should “read the situation” better knowing I didn’t sleep last night.
Am I wrong??