Am i the one at fault here?

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4 Comments

I have a group of friends and we share our stories, in discord.

But there is one of them, call him x. X never take our stories seriously. And since x is desperate to find his soulmate, all he ever focused in our story is 'is that person you are talking a boy or a girl?'

At some point i snapped. I scold him, saying, 'what does it matter if it is a boy or a girl? Do you want to marry her if it is a girl? You said you don't like NTR (netorare, in a nutshell, stealing other person gf/bf). But everytime we share stories, that is the only thing you asked.'

After that incident, he never shows up in group, never reply my chat as well. I apologized, but he still does not reply. I am honestly confused. Am i the one at fault here? Why in the end i am the one who needs to apologize?

Ps : it is not possible to visit him directly since we live in different country.

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Based on 2 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • 1234tellmethatyoulovememore
    1 year ago

    Um, maybe? It sounds like he's very socially awkward and you hurt his feelings and made him feel unwanted. I don't want you to feel bad, though, and I don't know enough about the situation.

    Is there a way you could reach out to him privately and give a sincere apology? I know you said you apologized already, but I don't know the context in which you did. Is he still talking to other people in the group?

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  • ospry
    1 year ago

    You should take one for the team and be his soulmate

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  • allialli
    1 year ago

    I think you overreacted. I don't want you to be upset by this, but you definitely do need to reflect on the situation.

    I'm assuming he's a kid, so women are most likely the top thing on his mind right now. Even so, I don't think his intentions were to hit on the person if they happened to be a girl. He probably just wanted to know how to refer to them, or he just wanted to picture the situation better.

    Even if those were his intentions, I think it's ultimately harmless. Since dating is the number one thing on his mind as you said, he'll be looking for a partner a lot.

    That being said, he shouldn't have been undermining everyone else's feelings by asking those questions instead of giving his opinion about their stories, and then not having any other input. I think this situation ultimately could've been handled better on both ends.

    Try to talk to him privately. Tell him you're sorry for lashing out, then explain to him how his actions made you feel, and tell him what you think he could do to make it up to the group, if they were also upset by his actions. If it ends well, hopefully things will go back to normal. If it doesn't end well, there will always be other people you can be friends with.

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    1 year ago

    I wouldnt worry about it its just an internet person

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