Am i wrong?

33% Normal
10 Comments

I recently helped my mom get a car. I helped her because a few years ago she helped me get my car. I have paid her back. I told her I will help her because she helped me, but no one should drive the car but her. I have an older brother who does not have a vehicle and she lets him drive the car to get back and forth to work. She now wants me to add him to the insurance, but I don’t want too. I know it would benefit me in case he’s driving her car and something happens. But I just don’t feel he should be driving her car and I don’t feel like I should add him to the insurance because I asked her not to have anyone drive her car for this reason. This is stressing me out amongst other things with my brother. I let him move in with me 6 months ago because he was living with my mom and depressed and suicidal. The deal was you live with me and you don’t have to pay me anything , so that you can get a car. It’s been 6 months and he still does not have a vehicle. I originally moved into a 2 bedroom, so that my daughter could have her own space. But everything happened with him so I felt it was best to help him out. I’m started to get annoyed at the fact my daughter doesn’t have her space and no bills are being paid on his part. I feel terrible asking him to leave, but I feel it’s tressing me out and I shouldn’t have to be stressed. Am I wrong? What should I do?

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 9 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • radar
    3 years ago | pl

    You get to choose who you pay to insure, and who lives in your home that you pay the bills for. They're taking your kindness for granted.

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  • Ellenna
    3 years ago

    You're not clear about who actually owns this car. If you helped your mother get it You don't say how) and it's in her name, it's her problem if your brother isn't on the insurance.

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  • olderdude-xx
    3 years ago

    Another piece of advice: Tell him he as X amount of time to get his act together (unless he really has a real medical issue: see below), to buy his own car, and move out to live in his own place (or a shared place where he is paying his share); and enforce it. Kick the bum out if he does not get his act together. He's using you, and likel was using your mother.

    If he has real major health or disabilities: Have him get on public support; and he uses that money to pay his fair share of expenses.

    You are there to assist him, not to be used.

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    You, sir, are not wrong in the least! Tell your mother that if she wants to allow your brother to drive the car that she can start paying for the car insurance herself. Also there's no need for you to feel guilty for kicking your brother out, because he's a grown ass man, your daughter is more important, because she's still a child, and your daughter is a part of you, but your brother is just related to you. The parent child bond is a very important thing, and should be deeper than the bond between siblings in my opinion. Of course the flip side of this mess is that the parent child bond is probably the reason why your mother is pressuring you to help your brother, but he doesn't need to be your responsibility. I don't know ya'll of course, but maybe your mother is enabling bad habits with your brother?

    Don't feel bad about setting boundaries with people with take advantage of your kindness, or take you for granted. You really don't owe it to help the kinda people who when you give em an inch they try to take a mile.

    It's none of my business, but I'm hella curious. Do either your mother, and or brother have problems with abusing drugs, and alcohol?

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  • olderdude-xx
    3 years ago

    Tell him to buy his own insurance.... Some insurance companies allow that.

    Alternately, ask your insurance company how much to add him... and get him to pay up front for the additional cost; and don't renew the policy with him unless he also pays you in advance.

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  • ramen
    3 years ago

    your brother can't depend on you for life. best to help him stand on his own feet. otherwise, it wouldn't be good for your relationship in the long-term.

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  • SwickDinging
    3 years ago

    Your brother is a sponge. Stop doing things for him. Don't allow him to muscle in on any financial arrangements you have with other members of your family. If he still lives with you then kick him out.

    You need to prioritise your daughter above all else. If your brother gets upset about it then that's tough. Your daughter comes first. He will have to turn to someone else for help.

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  • Somenormie
    3 years ago

    You don't owe that dude shit.

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  • GeekyGold
    3 years ago

    I remember your last post about your brother, he’s a leech. He’s literally living off you and it’s time to stop letting him do that. Your mother and brother would definitely get mad over it but at the end of the day they should not take you for granted. If they truly respect and love you they wouldn’t be like this towards you.

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  • Imafriendyrock
    3 years ago

    Unfortunately life is a lot harder when you are a nice guy. I dont know your brother or what country you are in but if he is halfway normal he should have decent employment. If he is jobless he needs a wake-up call.

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