Anonymous poll - do you have a criminal record?

I have a misdemeanour conviction on my record, although it's incredibly stupid and trivial and it happened more than 40 years ago.

Shortly after I married my dim-witted and thoroughly screwed-up first wife (thereby proving that I was just as fucking stupid and almost as messed up as her), we were staying in a motel after I'd been transferred to a Navy base for training. She had nothing to do during the day, and being an immature idiot, she started hanging out with a couple of the teenage kids of other Navy families who were in the motel. I'd bought a bottle of vodka because I was in my White Russian phase, and one day when I came home between classes for a few minutes to check in with her, she asked if it was okay if the kids had some. Being - as I've admitted - an idiot, I assumed she was talking about a taste or at most a single shot, so I shrugged and said, "I guess so," and headed back to the base.

I returned to the motel at the end of the working day, and my wife was nowhere to be seen. So I'm sitting in the room watching some crap on TV, wondering where she is, and trying not to worry about what the hell is going on when someone starts pounding on the door. The moment I open it, some older dude I'd never seen before gets in my face and starts going off on me about what I've done to his daughter. I haven't a fucking clue what's going on, and I guess he must have realised that fairly quickly. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd thought that I'd got the girl drunk so I could get in her pants. That definitely never even crossed my mind; not only wasn't I around when she got drunk, she was just some silly teenager my wife was hanging out with.

I think my wife reappeared shortly after that, and of course it was nothing at all to do with her. Lots of ridiculous, stupid, overly dramatic shit happened all the time when she was around, and it was never anything to do with her. This stuff just sorta happened.

Maybe the parents of the kids were Bible bashers who believed I'd corrupted their innocent little darlings, or maybe they were just doing that typical parent shit where they look to blame anyone other than their sweet little kids whenever they do something stupid. In any case, the cops soon appeared and my wife and I were charged with two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

We showed up at court at the appointed time on the appointed day, and of course my fricking wife had got herself so worked up over all this petty crap that she'd taken extra doses of some medication she was on that was supposed to calm her mood or some such shit (long time ago, can't remember what it was). In any case, we go before the judge, he asks if we have a lawyer, I say we don't, and he tells us to go off and have a chat with the duty public defender. I just want this shit over with, so I'm fine with pleading guilty, but my wife decides this is all so unfair, and she starts telling the lawyer about how it wasn't really her fault. I managed to more or less drag her back in front of the judge, and when the lawyer says we're pleading guilty, my wife starts lipping off to the judge, slurring her words and wobbling around. The judge is distinctly unimpressed, but he accepts my apology and excuse that she's on medication, and we leave the place with my wallet about a hundred bucks lighter.

Like I said, incredibly petty and stupid, but that's the boring story of my one and only brush with the law in more than six and a half decades of life.

no and I plan on keeping it that way

I have serious penalties against me at the moment that I'm paying for. Also some juvenile offenses that have been expunged long ago. Thank you, your honor, that is all.

No, but that's only because I haven't been caught.

The state owns my ass

I was arrested for assault numerous times because I used to beat up old ladies, steal blind people's canes, and murde-I-I-mean no. I would never commit a crime. Who would do such a thing?

I have a Gold Record>Elvis<

No I’m Oswaldo Mobray.

Oswaldo Mobray?

Yeesss.

Yeah, I mean no.

just lotsa leadfoot shit

never been caught for anythin more serious

I am sqeaky clean

Yep we getting old

Not even a jaywalking ticket

The mom to my first girlfriend always wanted to catch a guy who makes her daughter to come back home late at night, so my day came, I was caught with her in my room and I was taken to the police. I spent a night in the cell.

When you say criminal record do you mean arrest record, conviction, or just a crime committed?

Havent been in trouble since I was like 23 and it was only for some driving on revokes. But from 15 to 21 I was always in trouble.

Sometimes Id see the judge out somewhere usually at the store and he'd come up and ask me if Ive been staying out of trouble. He was known for being really harsh he sentenced me for 10 days in juvenile at 15 for getting caught smoking a joint. The only thing id ever been in trouble before that was drinking and he told me then if he saw me back before age 18 he'd sentence me for 10 days no matter what it was for. I remember I was hoping he forgot.

The obvious question for me is no. If I did get a criminal record it would destroy my career early.