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I know many a people that say step parents and parents who adopt are fake parents. They look down on people who adopt. Why do they think this?
What do you think?
Far as I can tell, a mom and dad raising kids that don't share the same blood can be just as functional as any family that shares blood.
| Yes | 5 | |
| No | 19 |
Do these people also think that if a woman has a c-section shes not an actual mom since the baby didn't come out of her cooter?
Someone who puts importance on whether a child is biologically theirs is someone who is less likely to be a real parent.
a step parent can love and care for a child just as any other parent. i wasn't adopted but my step dad raised me and my sister basically solo believing i was his biological child until my mum did a dna test and broke the news to him that he wasn't my biological dad when i was around 12, he still loved and cared for me and nothing changed in him, he still considered me as his son. i only became aware of this when i was like 16, my mum isn't a good person and she only told me the truth in an attempt to break me and my dads bond because she hates him and thought it would make me grow distant from him but all it ended up doing is making me hate her even more than before lol
If the kid is old enough to understand whats going on and the step parent is just moving in its gonna be hard for the step parent to ever be able to fill that real parent roll. You almost have to come from the angle of mentor/friend. If you try to come in and be Mr Discipline the kids will resent you and start to resent their other parent for allowing it. This is amplified in boys and step dads.
Agreed with this. Even from a young age, I never wanted someone trying to come in and replace or act like one of my parents or anything like that, and I'm so glad both my parents and stepparents always respected that and approached it the way you describe, as a friend/mentor. I would have really had a lot of resentment otherwise, and I still really dislike seeing the way this is handled with other kids, especially when they are expected to just accept new partners as their new parents whether they are comfortable with it or not, and even more so when it's a revolving door of new partners/"parents".
Yeah i had some friends that would come over my house all the time and then when their dad got a new hot girlfriend she became stepmom and when the kids would ask if they could come over my house the dad would turn to her and she would shake her head no. They hated her.
Sad as it may seem, step parents just aren't the same as the actual parents. Yes, they can take care of the child, and sure, the mother could still breastfeed, but there's risks, since the mother's milk isn't suited for the baby, so then they'll have to give the baby formula, which is just another replacement, a fake.
I feel for any child that, by whatever circumstances, can't live with his/her true parents, but it just has to be accepted that foster parents just aren't the same.
Not at all. A friend of mine considers her stepdad her real dad, because her actual dad abandonded her and her mother to start a new family and has no contact with her because his new wife wouldn't accept that. In cases like that blood means jackshit. As for adoption, you love an adopted child just as much as a biological one and the child usually loves it adoptive parents the same. Weird example maybe but just think about how attached to a pet you can get and how much you can love it and feel prepared to do anything for it, yet you do not give birth to a pet so it's not your blood.
Nope, but it is not true that they can be just as functional as the child's real parent.
In my opinion, being a parent isn't solely reproducing, it is also raising and caring for said child. You don't need to be a biological parent in order to do the latter, and those who have only participated in the former and little to none of the latter are sometimes no more than sperm/egg donors to their kids.
There are lots of kids in need of parents/parental figures, and it's in very poor taste to frown upon someone who steps up to the plate and provides that for them and dismiss them as "fake" parents.
On the other hand, as a stepchild myself who has always had both biological parents in my life and has always had good relationships with both, I do think people need to understand as well that the kids won't always view the stepparents or perhaps adoptive parents as their "real" parents, and that's okay. They can still have a loving and respectful relationship, just in a different way. I do really resent when people expect stepchildren to just accept their parents' new partners as basically replacements for their other parent, call them "Mom" or "Dad" even if they're not comfortable with it, etc. I'm really glad my parents never did this and still respected my relationship with each other whether they were still married or not.
In the general sense, no, they're not fake parents. Just depends on whether they're doing their job or not.
I wouldn't know, but I would guess that the reason someone might say they're fake is if they had the chance to know their real (bio) parents, and liked them, before getting step parents.
If it's someone who's never had step parents, I don't know why they would say that unless they have some kind of personal vendetta. Against orphans.
technically yes they are fake parents (fake as in opposite of real) but you can feel like they are your parents