Are there any doctors on here?

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I'm looking for a form of medical advise or rather, reassurance. I need to know if its normal to hurt for a female during penetrative sex?

For more detail

Not so much hurt, well it does hurt when it first goes in,(am not a virgin we have tried and lasted for quite a few times in the past) but then it's just uncomfortable for me. The pressure from the actual penetration makes my insides feel tight. My partner describes that my vagina "isn't tight" so it's not that I'm tensing up I'm actually quite relaxed. I try to maintain that and enjoy myself but I haven't been able to feel at all that pleasurable. Even inserting a tampon brings discomfort anything phallic shape makes me worry for my insides aching. We use lube, have tried different positions, taken breaks and tried again. Yet I'm able to give myself an orgasm or he can orally. I don't know what's wrong with me!!

For clarification

I have looked into seeking actual medical advice but cant face the idea of talking about it with a male as hes the only youth staff they have on hand to deal with these kind of things right now. (Aka, youth seeking advice).

I'm also kind of scared of the outcome if what I have cant be treated or helped in someway I may never find sex enjoyable, but I still get aroused normally and its confusing to me. I feel like it isn't normal. What I found on the internet were really broad answer that I dont know for sure will apply to me, unless if I actually get that medical help. But actually getting the advise or even executing a check in with the doctor feels intimidating since it's a guy, theres just some thing's that I'd feel more comfortable talking with a woman about especially as she could probably relate to it in someway? Or am I overthinking it?

I'm still trying to be optimistic and so is my partner, we keep trying to no avail, I feel like we're doing all we can to do this the right way but it's still not working in my favor. Its starting to cause intimacy problems in our relationship. I feel insecure for what I can't understand and he's insecure about getting pleasure out of it but not being able to make me feel the same way. Please, I come to you as a last resort or for advice of how to overcome this...no trolling I beg..

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Comments ( 8 )
  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    No doctors.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I worry for that, but I'm desperate to see even if others feel the same, maybe they've had a diagnosis that I could research into......

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    4 years ago

    I want to but I feel more comfortable with getting some idea of what I have from here first, if I can, because obviously talking about it anonymously is league's different from talking about it with someone face to face

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  • howaminotmyself
    4 years ago

    I am not a doctor but am very self motivated in my own care. I am also passionate about health so I do a lot of research for fun. First thing, the vagina is very stretchy. Most penises will fit just fine. However, sometimes they don't. Do you have a planned parenthood near you? The best person to ask is a gynecologist so if yours is not female, then find one. Planned parenthood is a great resource for health care if you don't have adequate health care.

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  • Boojum
    4 years ago

    First, I'm not a doctor and I don't have any other medical qualifications, so take what I have to say for what it's worth. Also, you should understand that female sexual pleasure and dysfunction isn't really given a high priority in medical school, so I have to say I doubt if you're going to get much useful out of talking to a general medical practitioner about this sort of problem. A good gynaecologist will almost certainly have experience of helping patients with problems such as yours, but I have no idea how easy it would be for you to speak to a doctor like that.

    What you describe sounds like vaginismus - an involuntary contraction of the muscles that surround the entrance to the vagina. Your initial thought might be that this can't be the case since you don't feel a clenching sensation, but we're not able to feel every muscle in our body tightening and relaxing (can you feel your heart doing that many times a minute?). You say your partner says your vagina doesn't feel tight, but his finger and penis aren't calibrated to measure pressure, and vaginismus doesn't mean that everything clamps down so snugly that you couldn't get a matchstick in there; it just means that the muscles tighten enough that you become acutely aware of the pressure and friction on the walls of your vagina just inside the entrance whenever something is in there.

    It's very likely that there's nothing at all physically wrong with you, but vaginismus is sort of like male erectile dsyfunction in an important way: once it happens, fear of it happening again makes it more likely to happen again. There are some things about the body-brain relationship that are seriously fucked up.

    There are lots of articles about vaginismus on the internet, but here's one that describes the symptoms in detail as well as the usual treatment:

    https://www.msdmanuals.com/home/women-s-health-issues/sexual-dysfunction-in-women/vaginismus

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  • --
    4 years ago

    Hi Anonymous Post Author, Dr. -- here. Could you explain the pain? Is it burning pain? Ache pain? Sharp pain? Dull Pain? Any pain while urinating? Partner complain of a smell? Does touching the outside vaginal area hurt or just spreading it open? does the pain radiate from the entrance of the vagina or is it closer to the cervix? I guess if your partner can complete Cunnilingus then its not pain from the labia minora?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Burning pain, and it feels like something big is being put in a place it shouldn't be sort of, I only have a stinging feeling while urinating after sex any other time it's ok

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      • --
        4 years ago

        See a doctor :) I'm obviously not one but I was just showing you what they would say. See not so bad, so go see a doctor and ask for a female!

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