Atheist problems.

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52 Comments

I'm an atheist. At least, in the sense that I believe that it is very unlikely but not completely impossible that there is a creator, a god.

I struggle with this, though. I struggle with the thought of not being taken care of. I struggle with the feelings that nobody understands me completely and entirely, inside-out. I struggle with the thought that one day I will die and that will be the end, forever. I struggle to believe in truly unconditional love.

More than anything, I struggle with the fact that there are no safety nets on life. If I fall down then I will hit the ground and hit it hard - there is no god to pick me up and dust me down and guide me to safety. Honestly? It scares me.

All these problems and more could be solved if I could just believe in a god. But I can't get the existence of a god to pass through my mind's logic filter. I can't believe in something scientifically unproven and unfalsifiable, I just can't.

Is this problem normal? Is it normal to struggle with atheism and wish you could just... believe?

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Based on 97 votes (82 yes)
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Comments ( 52 )
  • kingkrool
    11 years ago

    I rejected the Christian God that I inherited from my family, but I could not just stop wondering and give up. I kept searching for the right answer, and I hope that I will find it one day. But frankly, I am happy that I allowed myself to see things from mulitple perspectives. Because of my decisions, I have seen many beautiful things that most people can and will not.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    11 years ago

    "All these problems and more could be solved if I could just believe in a god."

    They'd be solved if god actually existed, not if you just believe. As you correctly stated above, if you fall you'll hit the ground and god won't help you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      You can't underestimate the power of faith. Or so I'm repeatedly told, anyway :P The belief in a God would help me get over the fear of falling, which is arguably worse than falling itself. You make a good point, nevertheless: that would be one of the challenges I'd face trying to convert to a religion.

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      • GoraIntoDesiGals
        11 years ago

        I have faith that I'm in a warm jacuzzi on my yacht with a gorgeous Indian girl.... *screeching vinyl sound* wait faith is bullshit.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    We all do. I'm on the atheistic side of agnostic (although would never say it's impossible that there is a God, just massively unlikely). There are plenty of thoughts I struggle to deal with but I see choosing to believe in something just because it makes me feel better (as opposed to having a proof I can agree with) is self-delusion and while I would be happier with faith, I'd be be much less happy with the feeling of delusion that I'd know would go along with that.

    Learning to accept the problems we struggle with (without turning to a crutch, whether that crutch be drugs, casual violence or religion) is one of the challenges of being as sentient as we are. It's difficult. Really difficult, in fact, which is why such a small minority of people choose to live this way. In my case, I have no choice (because of the reasons above). If I could choose to ignore my judgement, I think I probably would. Which dilutes my argument somewhat, but the truth is the truth.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      This is a good, clarifying comment, as yours usually are. This whole thread has been clarifying, actually. Thanks.

      I'm currently torn between deciding whether it is better to live life without crutches or to try to find a crutch which is safe (music, for example, is a crutch which as far as I can see is a relatively safe one). Are crutches fundamentally bad because they distort your perception of reality or distract you from it, he ponders. Perhaps so, although it's clear that some are worse than others (for me personally) and should be avoided completely.

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      • dappled
        11 years ago

        You and I seem to be thinking along similar lines. I gave up a harmful crutch three months ago and am in the process of giving up the one remaining harmful one, leaving me - on the face of it - crutchless.

        I struggle with mortality. I really struggle. How nice it would be to go through life thinking there is an afterlife. When it turns out there isn't (which is what I believe), you'd never know anything about it and at least you've had an easier life. Religion makes sense. What I see as self-delusion makes sense. I feel uncomfortable talking about it because what if I take away someone else's self-delusion and then they feel like me?

        Odd that you mention music because that's something I'm using ever more as an emotional crutch. Rhythm alters mood. It's why people chant, meditate, dance, listen to music, sing, play instruments. It exists in all cultures even those still being discovered deep in rainforests (or as deep as you can get these days). If it's a crutch, it's not a harmful one (quite the opposite). Because I learned to read music at a young age and have always played and messed around with composing, I've always thought music was massively important. I underestimated. It's utterly critical.

        To answer your question, I don't think music distorts perception. It changes it, yes, but I think it relaxes me back to my baseline and returns me to reality. Being angry or depressed or frustrated changes my perception as well as my actions. Music dissolves what is out of alignment in me.

        But yes, it does also distract me from problems. Is this a good thing? Should problems be faced? In general, yes. What if the problem is as overwhelming as "I am going to die and my existence will cease forever"? How do I reconcile that I may, even now, be living the last hour of my existence? I don't have an answer for you. I've lived a small life. I haven't travelled the world, haven't found a life partner, haven't continued my family line. I'm a man of little consequence and there'll be little consequence when I'm snuffed out. I'm not saying we're all worthless but perhaps I attach too much importance to my importance and the need for it to continue.

        Where I'm heading with this is towards Eastern thinking, in particular Taoism. You realise people have always thought the way we do. And you come to realise that thousands of years of thought are naturally going to produce more that is useful than any of us individually. Taoism makes sense to me personally, but I'm very much still learning.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          You talk about Taoism a lot here. I really should look into it, because it does sound very interesting yet I know nothing about it.

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          • dappled
            11 years ago

            I do mention it a lot. I read about it when I was about 18 and was very interested in it but couldn't really understand it. I keep coming back to it and keep learning a little bit more. I appreciate Eastern thinking a lot but it can fall into the same traps as Western thinking (i.e. Confucianism can be quite bureaucratic and a bit po-faced). Most Taoists and Confucianists are also Buddhists (which is where the religious element comes in). Buddhism can also preach that life is sour and to be tolerated.

            If you take just the Taoist principles (not really religious in terms of what should and shouldn't do, but more giving you a different way to think about things and yourself), you can find not something to believe in, but a way of life ("Tao" means "The Way"). Most Westerners start out with "The Tao Of Pooh and the Te of Piglet", an especially good book if you're familiar at all with Winnie The Pooh because it could be argued that he follows "The Way".

            What I've noticed are that the people who are most at odds with Taoism tend to be least happiest in life and so it makes some sense to assume that Taoism brings inner peace. I am very much a novice, though. It takes way more than reading books, but it's a good start.

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  • suckonthis9
    11 years ago

    You are not an "atheist".
    An 'atheist' is a person who believes in something (a deity) that does not exist. It simply does not make sense.
    Furthermore, you have expressed doubts as to whether or not this deity exists, which would make you an 'agnostic'.
    You have also made an assumption that this deity is a creator. What did this deity create? How did this deity create this?
    Who or what is this deity.that you speak of?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Ah, I'm not literally doubting the belief that there is no God. That's the only thing regarding religion which I'm relatively sure of: that there is no God. What I mean is that I'm doubting whether atheism as a "culture" (for lack of a better word) is a way of living my life that can make me happy; could I perhaps be happier believing in a God, even if I wasn't believing in the truth?

      (As a side-note, I think people are often too quick to thumbs-down your comments. This was a good, or at the very least understandable, comment, yet someone thumbed it down.)

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      • suckonthis9
        11 years ago

        This is why Religion is a trap. There are many very well-meaning people, such as yourself, who help to perpetuate these archaic ideas and concepts that are often found in religion. This does not mean that there isn't a basis in fact or in truth for many of these ideas or concepts. It isn't that difficult to understand. There are (or were) very highly advanced creatures elsewhere in the Universe that have (and sometimes do) communicate with us and other creatures.
        Think about it this way: if it were possible (it is not) to go back in time 6,000 years or more, to a primitive culture before the advent of Civilisation, and you took with you some of our modern technology with you, there might very well be some people who would perceive you to be a deity, even if you tried to tell them you weren't. Then, over time, these stories of 'when I met the deity' get twisted and corrupted.
        The term "atheist" is a misnomer. It literally means, a belief in something (one or more deities) that does not exist.
        It would be far better to describe yourself (or others of this ilk) as being persons who strive to be Ethical and Enlightened creatures.

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    • TheSecret
      11 years ago

      An atheist is someone who doesn't believe in God.. what are you even saying?

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      • suckonthis9
        11 years ago

        Who or what deity are you referring to?

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        • TheSecret
          11 years ago

          Every freaking "deity" an atheist is someone who doesnt believe in any deity.

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          • suckonthis9
            11 years ago

            But there is no such thing as a "deity", so an 'atheist' is someone who doesn't believe in something that doesn't exist.
            It simply makes no sense.

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            • TheSecret
              11 years ago

              some people do believe in a deity. thats the whole fucking point of this. and yes thats exactly what u do when u dont believe in something. like if you dont believe in santa clause, your not believing in somethong that doesnt exist.

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        • TheSecret
          11 years ago

          god..

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          • little_freak
            11 years ago

            Don't bother. He's just a retard repeating those semantic fallacies religious douche bags make up.

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          • suckonthis9
            11 years ago

            That is not a deity.
            That is an Anglo-Germanic generic term for a deity, which is derived from the German word 'gott', which simply means 'good'.
            'Good' is not a deity.

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  • fundoelvs2
    9 years ago

    I am truly sorry for all of you. I am a Christian. Do I believe that Christ lived? Yes
    Do I believe he is the Son of God? Yes, I also believe in the Holy Trinity..the
    Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit...What I do have a hard time with is the BUSINESS of the Church. The selling of the Church ideas for profit. That said...I try..and I mean try to
    live in God's shadow...I want him to be with me and in me. But I fine that I am
    all human , an American porn loving, swearing, lustful, venageful, nasty, greedy
    SOB...and unfortunately, I love being a sinner always looking for forgiveness and
    salvation at the next doorway. DOES he punish me..YES Does he forgive me....YES
    I have total faith. Not something I looked for...He has alway been in my body
    He is my soul...He watches me, talks with me, helps me with my troubles....
    C;ured me of 4 stage cancer, ( now in my fifth year.) Because of him I still have
    my wife, who had colon cancer...(she is 14 years clean)..Yes I believe..I can't say
    anything about anyone else..This is my experience. Nobody elses... Where yours
    may be negative, mine is positive...

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  • TheLogicalSkeptic1
    10 years ago

    To be honest these things troubled me during my year long transition from Christianity to Atheism, but I later became self-reliant and dispelled the brainwashing left over from my childhood indoctrination.

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  • imadragon
    10 years ago

    I think thy are pretty normal for atheist that are around religious people, see how happy they are (even if you think they look deluded). I believe in the same as you do.
    I explain death like this:
    If you cut the plug to a TV, where does the picture go? Nowhere, it doesn't exist anymore.
    Only a few people in my family are religious, and those who are, are not very strongly religious.
    These things we believe in are no problems for me, especially not death. I don't see death as a bad thing, I just see it as the end. When you're dead you don't have to feel anything, you don't even have to think anything, you don't even know that you are dead.
    I have many negative feelings towards religion and people who are religious (it's just ridiculous to be religious in my opinion) but I don't care if someone is religious as long as they don't shove down my throat. I don't like to discuss religion with religious people, I only discuss things with friends and religion is a very strong thing and can break friendships, so I only discuss it with my atheist friends. But I judge all people the same.

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  • popperpop
    11 years ago

    I was told by a priest "I believe in the good that man can do when they believe in God and that's enough for me." Everyone needs something to believe in and it doesn't have to necessarily be a God.

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  • DreamSpider
    11 years ago

    The way I see it, science isn't law. Like how everyone thought the earth was flat at one point. There are new discoveries all the time and the more advanced we become the more advanced our findings. Just because something isn't proven doesn't mean it's not real. We may never be able to prove there is a god, but that doesn't mean one doesn't exist. (Or that one does)

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  • DavidS.
    11 years ago

    Love does exist...there is a creative nurturant force in the universe...for example, if humans are the most evolved animal....isnt it wonderful that our capacity for care and concern evolved with our intelligence ...as an animals power of intelligence increases so does its conscience and guilt when it does something wrong..so the most powerful animal (ie humans) is also the most loving and conscientious animal...and i suspect this is a trend in evolution..the next evolutionary step will be an even more intelligent and loving humanoid or whatever...also as an animal increases in complexity it period of infancy increases..its period of dependency ....so it needs greater amounts of love and nurturance to survive...so the universe was designed that both power and love increase together....and destruction occurs anywhere there is not enough love....destruction destroys so love can conquer

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  • lufa
    11 years ago

    Seems to me you're a Christian pretending to be an atheist to try to convert us, fat chance porky.

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  • frakenchoots
    11 years ago

    i do believe you are agnostic (atheist with no balls)

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  • fightthesun
    11 years ago

    woah, this is all a trip to read. Reminds me of my conversations in High School. In my Art class, I think I was the only christian there, and the rest of the people were atheist or agnostics. Oh, nostalgia.

    Think about this. If Christians claim that there is a God who:
    Created the Universe
    Is an intimate God who strives for personal relationship
    Is Infinitely Good

    Wouldn't he create logical evidence demonstrating his existence? Wouldn't it be worth taking a look?

    If you are the Logical man of science you claim to be, I would think you would examine all sides of your situation.

    There was a man like you in scripture, his name was Thomas. He didn't believe that Christ rose from the Dead. That madness to him, and he didn't believe madness. However, if Christ truly did rise from the dead, it meant he really was the messiah. That meant all those things you wish could be true, really were true.

    But he didn't want to be an optimist or an idealist, he wanted to be a realist. So he said, he wouldn't believe until he touched the holes in Jesus's hands.
    And he sought out the claims, and touched the holes in Christ hands.

    Question Everything buddy. Even science. There is nothing more faulty than an outdated science textbook. And people make very very erroneous assumptions based on science (just look at Hitlers view of Social Darwinism). Everything can be twisted, but that DOES NOT mean we should stop searching for truth.

    As to wondering if you would struggle with believing once you believed, You will. But one day, you wont. After one goes to Africa and sees the blind be healed with prayer, doubts not a problem anymore. Just isnt.

    I have a few suggestions.
    1. Read. Two really good books are
    A. Miracles by CS Lewis- Probably my favorite book, explains Christianity using purely logic. It is a thinker though, so I would recommend going to Barnes and Nobles and reading at least 40 pages and see if you like it.
    B. Reasons for God by Tim Keller- This one is broken up in articles and is a quick read. Once again a logical look at God. More for the modern reader.

    2. Talk about this. Dont be silent because its awkward. Be honest in your doubts and questions. Talk to people you trust and people who have different opinions. Don't try to mash together ideas to fit your comforts, but search for Truth above all.

    3. Don't ever stop searching for Truth. Question Everything, and dont relent. We all suffer in this life, and it is worth the time to examine whether the pinnacle of our existence is found in love.

    4. Pray. Worse case scenario, you said some words alone in your room. Pray for wisdom and truth and understanding.

    I hope that helps. Comin from the other perspective, wut wut! haha Good luck your endevors, and I hope and pray you come to a greater understanding about yourself and this universe.

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  • m.a.s97
    11 years ago

    I think part of your problem is that you are trying to make sense of faith logically. The more you dive into faith and religion the less it makes sense so you can't doubt things you just have to "feel" them.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Trying to consider things logically is something that's "in my nature", both fortunately and unfortunately. I find it hard to believe something which doesn't stand up to scientific and logical criticism even slightly. Good comment though, thank you.

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  • ZitsOnMyButt
    11 years ago

    As an atheist for going on 20 years, I can assure you that this is perfectly normal. I struggled with these thoughts for the first 10 years or so of dealing with my coming to terms with the fact that I don't believe in god. Being an atheist is a personal journey, and not everyone sticks with it. It's OK. You'll figure out what works for you, and that's infinitely more important than whether or not you believe in god.

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  • TheSecret
    11 years ago

    Me too I wish I could believe but I don't believe it at all. I don't struggle as much as you seem to though. I've just accepted that you make your life happen the way it happens. The only thing I worry about sometimes is death.. but anyone does even if they do believe.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I don't usually struggle this much, I'm just feeling a bit down at the moment. I think if I became religious, I would struggle with the self-delusion - or lack of being able to think critically about my own beliefs for fear that I would topple them - much more that I struggle with atheism now. No belief system is perfect; I'm just going to have to learn to cope with what I have (unless I want to find something new).

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      • TheSecret
        11 years ago

        I think it would be too hard to convince yourself that there is a god if u truely dont believ. youd kind of be lying to yourself

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  • NotFloydzie
    11 years ago

    Believe in yourself. I'll have to come back to this when I'm sober and rested, but I mean it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Please do :)

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    If you believe this is the solution to your problems why not have faith?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      For all the reason's dappled gave, really. I can't simply choose to ignore my judgement. I can't ignore the fact that I'd be deluding myself. I can't make myself believe in something I see as illogical.

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