Best friend with autism is unknowingly rude and it still gets me

88% Normal
24 Comments

He doesn't realize obviously but no matter what it still bothers me and it really perplexes me.

Here's what he does

1) He will literally hang up the phone on me when he's finished talking and I'll say that kind of hurts how you just hung up in a text and he'll not understand why. I could be talking about something important and he'll say "I have to go now" and hangup. it's really quick

2) When something serious happened and I texted him in emergency and said something serious happened can I call you asap it's an emergency! he flat out said "No I'm doing laundry and I have to take a shower, brush my teeth, wash my face, make tea, make my bed and close my blinds" 😑 I waited 2 hours for his routine then I texted him saying let me know when you're free it's really serious I'm scared and his reply was "I have to make my chamomile tea then make my bed and close my blinds still" like the man doesn't realize your bedtime routine of closing your blinds and making tea can wait...

His sister broke her leg once and he texted me "my sister broke her leg I have to drive her to the hospital" and he was saying he didn't leave yet because he had to make chamomile tea and make his bed.. bruh 🖐🏻😑 he made her wait like 30 mins with a broken leg his routine is impossible to interrupt

It's weird though because he's pretty neurotypical in conversation but then the hanging up and routine addiction is serious

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88% Normal
Based on 8 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 24 )
  • Tinybird
    1 year ago

    I'm autistic and my routines come first always but I am never rude. It's always the other way around. When my routines get interrupted I have a meltdown where I scream and cry. Or things that I have a compulsion to do. On top of that, I'm an introvert and don't really like talking to people.

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    • normal-rebellious
      1 year ago

      I'm pseudo-Asperger's and I hate having my routines interrupted, but I wouldn't scream. If anything if my routine, like not reading fiction, is interrupted, I confront the man doing this and demand that I keep up my regularity, no one takes away a routine without paying the cost. When my routines are interrupted, e.g. no coffee for me my meltdown is shouting and getting frustrated and yes I would cry because I'm not doing what I do regularly.

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      • Tinybird
        1 year ago

        It's why I get so angry when I try to explain to people especially on the internet, that I have autism why I act the way I do and they go "oh it's just an excuse, I/my uncle's grandpas' dogs sister has autism too." Yeh I'm sure those people can't function in adult lives, live independently, drive, have a job, do basic tasks like tidying or cooking, I'm sure they have uncontrollable screaming fits when something important to them is disturbed, and these people tell me my life doesn't matter just because I can't fucntion like a normal adult and make money for the government that I hate anyway.

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        • normal-rebellious
          1 year ago

          You need paid work and I'm not the one pretending your cherished routines are weird, it just makes you a regular guy as Oxford Bay Books dictionary defines regular as "consistent, systematic, harmonious", that's what you are, if I don't get my breakfast in the morning it really burns my butter, I need as I have every morning my daily round of hot oat porridge and plant milk coffee from a Nescafé Blend 43, and I need to go looking for employment and invest $5,000 in the bank, if that doesn't happen I'm not happy from my bankruptcy. Furthermore I happen to be an exquisitely fine cook (an extremely good cook), I follow recipes from my recipe phone apps or my Moosewood low-fat favorites cookbook, truth be told that special paella recipe's expensive, and nothing finishes some nights like following my French chicken recipes app making a chicken chasseur (it's cooked in white wine). I make itineraries and go out to the shops following them, or what's not regular enough I sit at the park eating a cheese and sriracha sandwich on dark rye, those are my routines.

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          • Tinybird
            1 year ago

            My point exactly. People bully me saying I use my autism as an excuse thinking I'm like you and can do all that stuff. When I'm pretty much, basically, just a 25 year old child. Like a 10 yr old who's lived on the earth for 25 years.

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            • normal-rebellious
              1 year ago

              Yes, I'm a 27-year-old in a 39-year-old's body (date of birth 1983), I do think like you or the next guy, but I don't go about doing silly things nor am I anything but mature, I became an adult a long time ago, I'm not an idiot, silly or childish like the labels they give me, and weird is also a false label, I just do the everyday thing.

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  • Somenormie
    1 year ago

    Autism shouldn't be an excuse to be rude.

    Being rude to anyone is just an asshole thing to do.

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    • normal-rebellious
      1 year ago

      It's not an excuse to be rude, but it's an excuse to be too busy. Perhaps rude intentions are out the window, this man just has a busy life.

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  • Dusty_Dr3ad
    1 year ago

    If he genuinely doesn't know how he's acting affects others, try to have a talk with him. If he doesn't listen then thats on him. but make sure you're nice about the whole thing too and try not to come off as rude.

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  • normal-rebellious
    1 year ago

    Yes it's normal and the autistic man isn't in any way weird or rude and he's normal, it's fine. He's just doing his routines, it's called being regular, it's not a problem, and more people should have a daily routine and like him, have a routine addiction, which with you it's weird to call it a routine addiction. It only gets out of hand that you're so worried about it, perhaps this man spends every morning with a cup of hot chamomile.
    I spend every morning having coffee and breakfast, the "most important" meal of the day, it's all good.

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    • ospry
      1 year ago

      What you said is mostly true, but it's not "fine" to make someone wait in physical agony for 30 minutes. Having autism doesn't make his needs or comforts higher priority than anyone else's. Why should the amount of mental or emotional pain that he feels from breaking his routine take precedent over someone who's in immediate need of physical care?

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      • Iambillythemenacetosociety
        1 year ago

        And nobody else's needs are a priority either.

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      • normal-rebellious
        1 year ago

        Do you think autistic people are some kind of superman?! Well I'm here to say it necessarily follows that it's one finite way an autistic isn't going to mess around with their routines.

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        • ospry
          1 year ago

          And if you're forced to break your routine? Would you describe as being literally comparable to a broken bone?

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          • normal-rebellious
            1 year ago

            Not literally, but it hurts like hell. I can't start my mornings without at least cheese on dark rye toast and a coffee, that's the way I roll.

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            • ospry
              1 year ago

              And I really do empathize with that. I have OCD and I find a lot of comfort in routines. And when I'm in an OCD episode it's absolute hell. I've also broken a bone before and I know how much that hurts no matter who you are, so personally I'd be willing to break my routine or whatever exercise I'm doing to get my OCD under control to take someone to the emergency room. I'm not necessarily faulting you for being honest that you might place your routine over someone's need for a hospital, I just genuinely don't understand it

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  • Iambillythemenacetosociety
    1 year ago

    "like the man doesn't realize your bedtime routine of closing your blinds and making tea can wait..."

    And your "emergency" couldn't wait either? Hate to be the one to break it to you, but you can't just expect someone to drop everything for you and make you and your needs a priority.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      1 year ago

      I was in an ambulance. Yes it was an emergency moron, that's why I said it was. I didn't need to elaborate. He knew what it was, that I was waiting for the ambulance. I will not elaborate further but grow the fuck up kid. I almost died that's a fucking emergency.

      You don't tell me you have to make tea and close your blinds before you meet me at the hospital or drive your sister to the hospital for a broken leg...

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      • Iambillythemenacetosociety
        1 year ago

        Too bad that you almost died. He is still not obligated to make you a priority. Why don't you grow the fuck up?

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