Bf cheated and hes depressed

Get rid. He sounds horrible, why would he want to pay for nude pictures of other women when he has you.

I would dump him if I were in your shoes. I could wrong, but it looks like he's trying to emotionally blackmail you. He's using his so called depression, and suicidality to manipulate you. Sorry, girlfriend, but I don't trust this guy, and you shouldn't either!

You seem like a nice, decent girl, and you deserve better than this piece of shit, two-timing scumbag! This guy is wasting your precious time.

Depression doesn’t make people cheat, being a disloyal, insensitive and selfish jerk does. Run while you still can girl. Even if he is depressed or suicidal, this doesn’t excuse that he is being emotionally manipulative. I may not know you but even I know you don’t deserve that.

When you're depressed your sex drive is low. You might drink and smoke a lot more, but anyone who knows what real depression is knows the last thing you wanna do while feeling down is have sex.

Guy's lying and sounds like a POS! Dump him. I hope you find a normal man and not another abusive dick.

Break up with him, and then block him on social media.

He will have to turn to someone else for support for his mental health issues. They are not your responsibility and it is nothing to do with you.

Life can be so much better than this. Don't put up with this sort of shit from people.

“ever since, he blamed it on being depressed”

He is being nothing but manipulative, but is not experienced enough to be good at it. It’s not even close to a plausible excuse.

He's manipulating you. He may or may not genuinely be depressed, but even if he is that's not why he was looking at those pics, and he's still a manipulative asshole for trying to use depression to get his way.

If he has an ounce of goodness in him and actually values you, leaving will shock him into realizing what a dick he's been and hopefully he will experience some personal growth and humility. Either way you're better off not being in this kind of relationship.

I really would listen to the people who said you need to learn how to be single. As someone with similar tendencies I can say this from experience, you need to stop worrying about him and start worrying way more about yourself. I don't think jerks feel cared about and seen when you act like this, I think it causes them to see you as someone beneath them that they can treat like shit and probably get away with it for a good long while. There's a difference between being cruel and having a backbone. Backbones are good for everyone involved, always.

Good luck.

He is playing with you. Please break up with him and block him on all channels at least for few month to not give him a chance to manipulate you...

Here is the question that will really help the two of you resolve the issue. Why was he looking at nudes (and other girly pictures).

Is it ( one, or a combination of):
1) Believes some bodies are beautiful (the artistic possibility).
2) Is attracted to mental possibilities (the mental fantasy possibility).
3) Other possibilities to masturbate to (non-contact sexual act possibility).
4) Is actually looking for a real life partner for sex - other than you (in-person sexual act/ other relationship possibility).
5) Other (and find out).

Human sexuality is complex, and most men engage in at least 3 of the above at different points in their lives. Some females also do the same (although usually fewer of the list).

It's also time that both of you start acting as adults and recognize that its extremely rare for a single other person to satisfy all of a persons mental and physical sexual interest and needs.

Part of making a relationship work - is knowing that it is in fact normal for the other person to have some level of attractiveness to other people in their sexual interest group.

In my case, and in my marriage (and all other relationships in a long time) we have actually talked about each others sexual interests and fantasies; and were OK with the other person having them - as long as they primarily filled the sexual act part between each other unless there was specific pre-approval for another between us (poly - with permission relationships are a well known subset of relationships).

When I met my wife (from Eastern Europe) and after we went through 2 art museums her serious question was "where are all the nudes?" In Europe the art museums often have 20% or more of many groups of artwork being nudes (including the Vatican Art Museums).

I then showed her my personal collection of artistic nude pictures I had collected from the web. She really liked some of them.

We've discussed our other fantasies, a bit about what we masturbate to when we feel we need that, and our most romantic and sexy dream of meeting someone else. We both understand these things are normal. We have also set some limits and given some permissions for certain things. Each couple will vary on what those limits and permissions are.

But, real adults discuss these things, understand that they are normal, and set rules, limits, and permissions.

I will also offer this: Our wedding vows did not involve sexual faithfulness. We've both seen situations in life that no one expected and understand how many relationships have been destroyed by lies about sex. So neither of us have to lie.

We did have an expectation that we would be faithful unless we were in a survival situation (people who pair up often survive better than those that don't: and its best to have your partner come home someday in the best condition they can... and just not worry about who they slept with - and even potential children: We can make that work when they get home safely); or if one of us was sexually unavailable to another for an extended period of time (we don't expect people with sex drives to somehow become asexual if the other is not there to support them).

Our actual wedding vows were:
1) "Honesty in all things (except where there is a surprise party or similar coming up).
2) "No issue or situation cannot be resolved if identified in a timely manner to the other partner, and dealt with compassion for the other person and their situation."

Everything else was expectations... and expectations can be changed if conditions or the situation warrants it.

While we did have an initial expectation on sexual faithfulness. Problems developed (but no acts with others occurred), and after 6 months in counseling and learning a lot more about ourselves and each other... Both of us learned things about us and each other that we never suspected. With the new understanding about who we really were; the fact that we had not lied to each other, we didn't know: big difference; and the fact that everything else was good in our relationship - we changed that expectation to allow other partners (with rules).

Other people would decide different outcome. Note: I've very tired of people who tell us that we should have divorced so we would not violate our marriage. My wife and I believe marriage is about working out issues and problems - not running from them and violating our commitment to love, care, and cherish each other (we didn't get married to have sex - we got married for a lot of other reasons).

Just something to think about.

I suggest you start a real conversation with your BF on these kinds of issues - and learn to accept that yes, he will look at and think about other woman... That is normal for him. You will also likely think about other men at times as well. Again normal.

Mature people don't have to hide these things from each other, and its just life.

My wife even at times points out other ladies that fit my profile... she knows I will be looking at anyway; and also that my personal standards are very high and take time to learn and know the other lady - and its part of the way she acknowledges who I am... and I love her very much for that. At times I've told here that where she is heading meets her personal sexual fantasy about another... and its OK to look for him there (her standards are high as well)... She really smiles at me during those times. It's OK to have those dreams and desires... and its normal to acknowledge them.

I wish you well with this,

Did you cheat on him before?

UPDATE FROM OP:
i found out from a girl that messaged me that he also made a BUMBlE to search for sugar babies. and planned to get a hotel room and meet up and texted her for awhile.

All he did was pay for pictures.