Bf cheated and i feel dumb for staying with him

That IS dumb. You're extremely naive if you think he actually cares about you and won't do it again because news flash he most likely is already doing it right now. Cheaters lie it's what they do and the only reason they want a relationship is either for show or for security but they dont care about anything else and will say whatever you need to hear in order to stay.

It seems like he has some secret fetish.. maybe just cheating on you is the fetish.. regardless, you need to drop his bitchass. He’s gonna do it again.

As people said before, no he's not going to change, yes he's going to do this again, no he doesn't care, yes you are foolish to think otherwise at this point.

Take it from me: Cheaters are usually weak people. You deserve better. Get out of there

The flag for me is that he want's to be a Sugar Daddy with sexual interest in the ladies; and without your up front approval of that concept (and all that goes into it).

That speaks of a mindset that is not supportive of a solid long term relationship.

I know a lot about what goes on with these sites. I have been a real oddball on those because I was there (still am on 1 site) only to mentor Ladies who are looking for how to get ahead, without any expectation of sexual interest or contact (and I've had to say no many many times). I also get messages telling me that I'm on the wrong site. Key is my wife knows I'm there (and approved of my going back on those sites after I was married for what I do), knows of the good I have done, has met a number of the Ladies I have assisted to get ahead, etc. She even picked the pictures that I have used over the years.

Anyway; I've heard from several thousand ladies over many years on what the normal range of SD-SB relationships are.

My advice... Leave, and never look back. He has a lot of growing up to do to raise to your standards... and it's not likely to occur soon.

I wish you the best with this,

Maybe he wants to break up with you, but is too much a a little bitch to split. One thing about cheaters is that you can always trust a cheater to cheat on you. I rather suspect that you are terrified of being alone, and have very low self-esteem, or are you some kinda masochist? There is literally zero reason for you to stay with this person!

you should have a 3some with him to make him happy

leave his ass and get wit me :3

- It doesn't matter how much you want this relationship to work because it won't work.

- You are either gonna have to deal with it, knowing that he has cheated on you at least twice and still probably cheating on you. Or you can leave this relationship and find someone better for you.

- Picture this. You are on an island, you hate this island and you want to leave. You don't want to leave because you are afraid of getting lost and dying at sea or finding a worse Island. What's worse? Living on an island that you hate for the rest of your life, or make an effort to know what else is waiting for you on the horizon?

- I know, this is very cheesy, but I don't know how else to say it.

- Good luck :)

oh hun, maybe forgiving him once would have been good if he at all changed but twice? please leave him he won't change anytime soon
you bring it up because you haven't gotten the closure you need it is completely normal to want to talk about something again, him playing the victim is just so he doesn't have to explain himself

You have zero trust in him and you should. People cling onto these relationships because they’re afraid to be alone again. It’s perfectly fine to not be in a relationship! For you, even better than that a-hole. You’ll be better off without him.

I don't think he really has improved, especially if he did it again after getting caught, probably some kind of addiction. And its generous enough to give one second chance to someone who cheated, he don't deserve any more. And if you ever feel like you're stupid for staying with someone, that's a good sign you should leave...

Go with it, don't think of it as cheating, think of it as broading your views. Have him bring her home to share. If you want to get even take her away from him and then leave him. Make it double the pain his gf and fling both dump him for each other.
If that's not something that you can do or interest you then I'll agree with the others you won't and can't change a cheater. Dump him.

I agree with what others have already said about cheaters cheating. If it had been a one-time, spur of the crazy moment sort of thing when the two of you were going through a difficult patch or had sorta-broken up and some girl had literally thrown herself at him, then yeah, maybe give the guy the benefit of the doubt, risk it and keep a very close eye on him. But what you describe is nothing at all like that.

I also agree with Rose that the most important question here is why the hell you're willing to tolerate this behaviour. You shouldn't have any delusions that you can make him behave in a way that you believe a boyfriend should, but you do have the power to dump his lying, cheating ass and move on.