Bf is depressed and “hates himself” so he’s been

57% Normal
32 Comments

this has happened before, but my boyfriend is seemingly depressed about his weight and back issues, among a few other things. when he gets like this, he tends to pull away a little from affection and wanting to spend every second with me, holding my hand, kissing me, etc. i don’t really know how to deal with this other than make it about me and assume he’s loosing feelings. is this normal? for someone to pull away under stress or depression? he says he loves me so much forever and always blah blah blah but sometimes his actions get me nervous. how should i deal with this? any advice would be greatly appreciated. thank you.

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 14 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 32 )
  • olderdude-xx
    3 years ago

    It's unfortunately normal for people to pull away when they are dealing with issues. IF they mature enough they learn to pull in even closer as that results in the best outcomes.

    I wish you well with this,

    I'd also check out "loose the back pain (dot) com" (or something similar) and read up on muscle balance therapy. Saved me from having back surgery (which would have failed as my spine was pulled into an S shape due to out of balance muscles).

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  • LondonGoldman
    3 years ago

    Look into microdisectomy. Its a back surgery that you recover from in about 3 weeks you feel normal. 95% success rate. Ive had 2 of them. They arent bad at all. He shouldnt wait until hes really old to fix his back. Ive had back issues for years which caused depression, I finally just said fuck this shit im not living like this and had 2 surgerys, injections, ablasions. Fuckin sucks being a young man basically bed ridden.

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  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    Yes.
    That shouldnt be surprising.
    I suggest you read up on depression if you wanna be of support to your boyfriend.

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  • Inkmaster
    3 years ago

    You come across as rather uncaring.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      how?

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      • Inkmaster
        3 years ago

        " he says he loves me so much forever and always blah blah blah"

        To answer the question of is it normal for someone to pull away when they're depressed, the answer is yes.

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  • my_life_my_way
    3 years ago

    Dump him, he is no good for you. He sounds like a pathetic loser, with people like that, it’s easier just to move on. There’s other guys out there

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    • GaelicPotato
      3 years ago

      That's not how love works.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        3 years ago

        what’s not how love works?

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        • GaelicPotato
          3 years ago

          Immediately dumping when facing any sort of hardship.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            3 years ago

            you think that isn’t normal? what should i say to him?

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            • GaelicPotato
              3 years ago

              Scroll down a little bit. I can't exactly tell you what words to use, but it's important to make your partner feel supported. I assume you'd like the same if you'd be suffering in a similar fashion.

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      • my_life_my_way
        3 years ago

        Of course it is. When someone turns into a pathetic loser, you let go of your previous feelings and move on.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          3 years ago

          why do you think he’s a pathetic loser?

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          • my_life_my_way
            3 years ago

            “He is depressed about his weight and back problems” both of those issues seem relatively easy to fix in a presumably young guy yet he still continues to wallow in his feelings instead of improve himself.

            Depression itself is a sign of emotional weakness. Everyone has problems and the things he’s upset about seem relatively minor in comparison to what most others go through yet he gets depressed about it like a little bitch.

            You can’t fix people like that and they will always choose weakness over life. I’ve dated a couple of pussies like that and it’s way better to just cut your losses and leave them.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              3 years ago

              when the people you dated turned depressed how did they treat you?

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            • GaelicPotato
              3 years ago

              Depression is not easily fixable, on the contrary. Its a serious mental issue, regardless of the reason.

              You say weight and back problems is easy to fix? You've obviously never encountered anyone morbidly obese or extremely overweight, or anyone with chronic back issues. None of those things are "easy to fix".

              "Just work out" may be easy for you and me, people who can easily move already, but people who are overweight have to put in way more effort for way less results and movement. It's a snowball effect of obesity.

              Depression itself is a mental condition that can happen to anyone. Saying these people are weak and left to be forgotten, makes me believe that you're pushing yourself too hard. It's okay not to be okay. Everyone has moments of weakness.

              Suffering cannot be compared, as suffering is suffering, regardless of its magnitude on a grand scale. It's still suffering, and it's perfectly okay to openly admit to being depressed.

              OP here seems to care about her partner. I think they consider their partner their better half. As wedding vows usually say, for better or for worse.

              If you limit yourself to relationships where there are no hardships whatsoever and abandon them when you come across the first sign of difficulty or suffering, I can't imagine you've experienced long lasting relationships. And friend, you're definitely missing out.

              To OP, it's more healthy to embrace ones suffering over suppressing it like my_life_my_way seems to be doing. And if you truly love your partner, you stick by them. For better or worse. That's what love is truly about.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      why is he a loser tho?

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  • Somenormie
    3 years ago

    You don't sound normal.

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