Bf says he would fuck other girls

Kick his ass to the curb!

Damn! This post seems to have ignited a storm of comments for some reason. My two cents:

It's pretty common for men to compartmentalise sex and emotional attachment: there's sex and there's love, and sometimes the two coincide, and sometimes they don't. It sounds like your boyfriend is saying this is how he feels about sex. Some men are smart enough to know that the majority of women don't feel like this, so they never admit that they think of sex like this. Your boyfriend has at least been honest, so perhaps he deserves some credit for that, even if you didn't like what you heard.

Some people seem clear that he wants to cheat on you or has already done so. I don't see how they can be so certain about that, but I do agree that he has basically given you a warning that he might.

Another possibility is that he was speaking in purely hypothetical terms, and what he said was more about him doing another fairly common guy-thing: looking at commitment and thinking that it has to equal boredom and stagnation, and then thinking that he'd really like to keep his options open.

From what you say, it also sounds possible that he's one of those idiotic guys who believe that it's perfectly fine for a man to be controlled by his dick, and he can't help it if he gets a boner in the vicinity of some woman, and they end up having sex. That is purest bullshit. Unless a man is mentally ill or brain damaged, he is wholly responsible for his actions. During my forty-odd years of married life, I've met many women I would have been very happy to fuck, but I've never acted on those thoughts, and that's the only thing that really matters.

Couples always have rules in their relationships. Sometimes these are discussed and explicitly agreed, but more often there is a silent understanding of what's acceptable and what isn't, and this can cause problems. It sounds like your boyfriend's ideas of the rules for your relationship are different to what you believed them to be. You have to decide if the rules he wants are ones you can accept.

Suggestion: Consider showing him all the comments here. His responses might make you clearer on what's going on in his head and what exactly he meant by his comments.

Leave him,you're feelings obviously don't matter to him. He sounds like an asshole. Sex is not only a physical thing but an emotional thing.

Nope nope nope, leave him he doesn’t seem like the kind of man that’s interested in you as a commitment.

I think you should let him fuck others and stop fucking him yourself. He is a loser. Move on with someone else.

With his attitude like that doesn't sound like it'll work with how you and most others view a true relationship.
You should dump his ass, but before hand tell him you banged a guy just because he said he wanted to do that with another woman.
Sounds to me like he's telling you shit so you'll go along with it. He's plainly an asshole.
Dump him and find someone who respects you. Don't be an idiot and give him second chances. He'll act on it if he hasn't already.

So he is a 27 year old drug addict who frequents "massage" parlors and is always going to bars with the $500 allowance he gets from mommy.

The guy is already fucking prostitutes. This is his way of dealing with his guilt.

You were warned many times and have chosen to do nothing. At this point you deserve what you get.

Ummm...if he won't respect you he is obviously not good enough for you. Tell him that he needs to change his mind about it and if he refuses split with him.

should i say that to him? he just told me that as a man it’s hard to say no and that i need to be a realistic bc the world isn’t just strawberries and rainbows

If you have any plans of marrying this guy....don’t....Once a cheater always a cheater & a leopard doesn’t change it’s spots....even in marriage he’ll do this....you deserve much better.

Tell him he can't have his cake and eat it too. In other words, if he doesn't want an exclusive relationship and you do, then end it. Sounds like he's not done playing the field yet. Some men never are which basically makes them unfit for marriage.

Not worth your time. You should be with somebody who values you and wants to make you happy. If he only sees you as merely one person to fuck in a sea of thousands, he's not worth your time.

Your boyfriend is correct and honest with you. He said that when a boy says he doesn't want to fuck other girls, he is lying, and that is always true, no matter what people say.

What should concern you is that he is already planning to cheat on you, so you should leave him before this happens. Everyone wants to fuck, even if we hide it, but the point of a relationship is to have more benefits from it so that we won't have a strong reason to hurt our partners this way.

So the sexual need exists in each and everyone of us, apart from some people we don't discuss here. You must know it and you must start from this point. You also know that jealousy exists, apart from some people we don't discuss here. You must also start with this assumption, too.

The whole point of a strong relationship is that you offer enough to your partner so that they are no longer interested in the sexual need with others, since it comes with jealosy and pain and the relationship can offer them more satisfaction without this pain. Whoever thinks that once you enter a relationship your sexual needs immediately switch off and disappear for everyone else is foolish.

The point of a relationship is to be a better match than most people so that the advantages of an affair are less significant and outweighed by the relationship itself, and you have no reason to make it weaker and to break it. The partner should be interested in you and what you can offer more than in other people, so that they remain with you.

Your boyfriend is not the case. He is interested more in sex than in what you can offer him, namely a close and strong relationship. For him, the advantages of this relationship are not big enough to exceed the sexual desires with other women, so this relationship is not what you want to be. He wants something else than you do, so you two are a bad match.

This means that you must break-up with him, and this is a certainty, if what you said is true. You can do it now, or you can keep suffering and do it later, but it must still happen if you want to be happy.

He might want to stop you, but he told you the truth. He won't change his mind, and those were his exact and honest thoughts. Everything else he might say, like being sorry for it, are completely false and made only to repair the damage. But you had the truth from him, and the truth is that he is not going to give you what you want.

So call him and tell him you are done and then search for someone else. Anything else will just make you suffer more and lead to the exact same point.

Well at least he's being honest. I too have the same views as him and believe in open relationships. I can be in a serious relationship and have a strong emotional bond with one person but open to us having casual sex with other people as long as its protected and only once in a while since its normal for a sex life to die with couples and causes physical and mental frustration in the long run. l think open relationships are more ideal for people. l learned that being possessive and jealous all the time is unevolved and us women should internalize that men's brains are literally wired differently, they can't help it plus most are not capable of having sex with one woman for the rest of their lives.. hell l'm a woman and l can't imagine having sex with only one man for the rest of my life but l definitely can imagine loving, building a life and growing old with just one. He's obviously the open relationship type of guy and if you really can't be like that then break up with him and find somebody else.. but honestly most guys claim to be loyal and want an exclusive relationship but will lie and cheat later on soo. .

If that happened to me (it wouldn't), I wouldn't say a word, just cut him off, lose his number, remove him from my social media, and leave it at that.

Or, depending on my mood, I might play head games with him just to tease, piss him off, and then, delete him anyways.

Love doesn't always have an Off switch, my friend. What you thought was there never was. You were in love with an illusion. He is basically a liar, and intends to be unfaithful to any girl he ever meets.

This situation won't ever get better. If you leave him, your heart will eventually heal.

You can't just go on with relationship like this. Either you accept that he will eventually have sex with someone else or tell him that you can't be with him if he will do that. If you two don't solve this things can get just worse

Got bored of reading the comments on this. But basically everyone is telling you the same thing, he's either already cheating on you or he's planning to do so. Everyone is correct, about that, some are excusing his behaviour, or potential behaviour, by saying he is a poly person (in my mind that is a term invented by cheats, to excuse their own behaviour), but excusing him or not doesn't alter the fact he has no intention of staying faithful to you.

So the problem is actually you, and I don't mean that in a bad way. But, you don't want to hear the truth, you know the truth deep down, if you didn't you would not have posted here, but you are trying to kid yourself that you got it wrong. You probably hoped for some reassurance here that if you hang in there you can work through it with him and it will all be ok in the end.

Fact is it won't be ok, he will cheat (probably already has), you will find out, he won't really tell you that's a lie, you will get hurt, he will say he was going to tell you just like he said he would, but he hadn't found the right moment yet (he will make it your fault that he hadn't told you yet). You will argue, he will make promises he has no intention of keeping, you will believe him because you love him and want him to love you back. You will forgive him because he will promise he doesn't want to do anything like that ever again, another lie. You will stay together until the next time, there will be a next time. The cycle will repeat until you eventually realise what everyone told you here all those years ago was true. By now you will probably have a couple of kids, you will either stay for the kids or become a single parent. Either way you will look back and wish you listened. I am not clairvoyant but predicting the future is so easy here.

I wish you luck x

input , he has already fucked other girls and you are Sharon Peters already. this is just his way of telling you without telling you. get it now. not only has he cheated , hes throwing it in your face. before you get all uppity goody goody about it , you do the same thing to him if you had the chance . You just were not first to do it thats all. its obvious he is better looking than you. Or he is fucking a skanky looking gal behind your back or she would be his girlfriend and not you. Thats life . thats how it works. what you though you owned his penis just because you gave him some pussy? all women give pussy. except the whores, they sell it.

It's normal that he wants to have fun with other girls, and views sex as physical and casual.

It's nice that he's being upfront about, and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

i would turn it into an open relationship if this happened to me. that’s what i want in this relationship i am i’m but i can’t just ask because i know he is monogamous so for the time being, so am i. if it’s been clearly stated that you are not in an open relationship with him and he continues to try to get you to let him sleep with other women then let him but tell him to do it without you because you’re not down for that.

Let's be honest here, you essentially came here to get reassurance already knowing the answer to your question.

It's not okay. He will cheat or already has, you'll probably forgive him for it and it'll just happen again.

He is not a faithful guy. You are a faithful girl, and I think you should find someone else to be in a monogamous relationship with.

He's a poly, and you are not.
I'm sorry to break it to you but you don't match.

Him asking doesn't necessarily mean he's already looking though.

I voted normal because majority of men think like this but don't voice it because majority are scum low life who just fuck anything with a pulse

If he wants to shag around then let him, we're guys our dicks are a powerful force. So long as he has the emotional bond with you and none of the other hoes then he's still yours. Just try and treat him well so he doesn't cheat.

Sounds more like an ex bf to me

No this is not ok. He is basicaly saying he would cheat on you. Also sex isnt just a "physical thing" there is a reason its called love making when you do it with someone you like.

His mistakes will make his body dirty and your mistakes will make yours. So why even think of touching anyone else ? The more you think of something the more you want. You can shift his focus to other things such as games,music,technology,gadjets.

Guess what. He already has. He is just setting you up for when you either give him permission or that you catch him. I would dump him and then move on. It is just a matter of time until he finds some dumb girl who will agree to his stupid plan and then he will dump you.

How to spot a poly person:

1. They think sex is a physical thing.
2. They like/fall in love with multiple people.
3. They think monogamy are controlling and selfish.
.....the list goes on.

Basically, your boyfriend is polyamory; which means he shouldn't be in a monogamous relationship to begin with, but he's probably either too ignorant or inexperienced (or both) to know what he is yet so he's suppressing it, and you're the unfortunate person to get caught up in the beginning stages of him discovering himself.

Sadly, this happens a lot. The best option would be to break up and allow him to experiment and find himself sexually, while you go find someone who is naturally monogamous like you (they're out there, no worries). The only problem is, he'll probably want to remain a couple to not lose you, but make you feel bad for being monogamous, or convince you to be polyamory too. It's tempting, because you love him, want him to be happy and all that, but forcing yourself to be poly will not make things better, each encounter you have with another guy will feel weird and empty, and you'll become upset watching fuck girl after girl.