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if i snooped on my boyfriends computer and found out he lied about A LOT of things, most of which pertains to his past (sexually and romantically) should i bring it up? or how should i? i want to confront him but i don’t want him to know i snooped. these things were things that i asked him to swear on my life that they weren’t true or he didn’t do, and he lied
I would suggest confronting him and asking him why he felt it necessary to lie. Maybe he thought he would lose you if he told you the truth, or that you would think of him differently or less of him if you knew the truth. There’s always two sides to every coin.
NOW, with that being said, if he refuses to confront the fact that he lied, or just wants to blow it up into the fact that you snooped and how dare you, blah blah blah. Then, yeah, you should probably go ahead and end it right there. Relationships have to be built on trust and if you don’t have that, then there is no relationship. He violated that trust by lying to you. You violated that trust by snooping. You’re both in the wrong and unfortunately, there is no right answer to this one.
So... Confront him and give him an opportunity to explain. If he refuses/fails to do so, then leave him. BUT, you need to be willing to accept that explanation. Otherwise, there’s no point in this exercise at all. All it’s going to accomplish is creating a confrontation and increasing the risk of escalation. Hope this helps! Good Luck!
Ask him about it but he probably wants you to view him as a clean slate with a fresh new image. So that way you don't think of him badly/sexually or something.
Why do you need to confront him about these lies he told? Confronting him will only get him upset about your snooping, expose you as someone who is untrustworthy in her own right for invading his privacy, and spying. This dude is either going to get really pissed at you, or just make up more lies, and excuses for why he lied to you in the first place. The important thing is that you discovered that he's a liar, and most people don't change, they just are who they are.
Just remember that, "discretion is the better part of valor". There's no good reason to confront this guy unless, of course, you just really like drama.