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I've always found that friendships between the opposite sex often have underlying attractiveness towards each other. for this reason, I usually do not bother with men who have a female "best friend".
could you do it? HAVE you done it? what were your experiences?
story of my life , very possible . I have had plenty platonic friend ships . I just prefer female friendships over males .
I can tell you as a gay man, gay men have no problem being platonic friends with each other. Not saying attraction or feelings never come in to the mix, but it's the exception not the rule and we handle it pretty easy when it does. Straight people seem to over complicate everything.
1. Not everyone is even heterosexual.
2. Even among heterosexuals, not everyone is attracted to everyone simply for their gender. The straight guys I know claim to be friends with girls only if they're ugly.
I´m the same with men. As a woman I don´t want attractive male friends that could complicate things.
I sadly know that some of my friends are attracted to me, but as long as they don´t try anything or show it when I am with someone I can accept it.
So now you are inside my head? I could not care less about my "ego". I like them as persons and they know their place and as long as they do and wont try shit I´m chill.
In other words I accept no compliments, no flirts, nothing. Talking like friends.
If, as you stated, you know they are attracted to you, why play games with the whole thing? How would you feel if someone kept you around, knowing you wanted more and they didn't? Eventually the friendship will fall apart.
You can argue it all you want.
You sound very bitter and entitled in the judgement your making against, (S)aint, a person you don't really know.
I suspect you've been hurt by a supposed female friend, but don't take your feelings out on rest us regardless of gender or sexual preference. Much of the negative bullshit you're spewing out about women I could very easily spew about men. I consciously choose to see all people whether they're male or female or gay or straight as distinctly unique individuals rather than lumping everyone together.
Oh I see at first I'm the one making judgements and now I'm bitter according to you. So I guess you can make judgments but I can't huh?
And I've never been spurned by a female "friend" because even from a young age I saw the ridiculousness of opposite sex friendships once hormones start flowing assuming heterosexual preferences.
I have an opinion and I'm expressing it. Tough luck if you disagree with it or don't like it. I never expressed it a mean or insulting way to you or anyone else on the post.
I've had a close female friend for the past 6 years and our relationship is strictly platonic.I'm even her son's God father.Now that said i believe our friendship has lasted this long because we are not attracted to each other sexualy.She's not my type i'm not her type.
The situation usualy becomes clouded when you have a close female/male friend that genrally falls in the class of people you are attracted too.From there its like adding fuel to a fire.You are already attracted to this person and then you add years of emotional bonding on top.Something or in this case someone will definately give in...
Yes they can be real friends as long as one or both of them are not attracted to each other.
I have a number of close female long term friends (greater than 7 years). The only reason it works as a friendship is we have either discussed that issue and decided not to go down that path or there simply isn't any attraction.
I have had a number of female friends where there was attraction, so I simply said something along the lines of "I've been feeling this attraction and sometimes I've thought we could be more than just friends".
On 3 occasions that turned into FWB or having sex a few times until we thought better of it and just went back to being friends. In fact it really strengthened our friendship!
Meeeh. In my experience yes and no. I've had female friends but 50% of the time they've had some attraction to me from the beginning or later on in the friendship.
Definitely possible but risky.
Yes. Just because two people are the opposite sex does not mean they're automatically 'in love' or 'interested in each other'. I had a male friend back then. That's all we were.
About half my friends are girls and I have also maintained friendships with ex's as well.
I do think many of my female friends are attractive, but our friendships aren't any different than my male friends.
I have realized I view sex and interpersonal relationships quite differently than most people. I'm not very sex driven and have little to no interest in relationships, but I like to have female friends that I don't otherwise live with. I do not quite grasp the concept of what romance actually is and as far as sex I could take it or leave it. I could see someone having a problem with these interactions if they were sex obsessed.
I definitely think so. I have a couple of male friends as long as both parties understand that it is completely platonic. If I am in a relationship with someone I won't go hang out with my male friends alone out of respect for my partner. If I am to go hang out then my partner is coming along.
It can happen and be platonic. It's just rare and takes a good amount of maturity. Going off your answer I would say you have the right idea and maturity level. Most women play a sexual tension game of it and than act innocent and/or completely surprised if the guy acts on the non verbal signals.
A lot of women love the attention. I just happen to be a tom boy and find that I get along with males easier (I know that is a typical response of a women with male friends lol) But if I am in a relationship boundaries and rules are set in place out of respect for who I am with.
I think its easier for girls to befriend a guy unlike the other way. Girls are more social, therefore, willing to talk and be friends with any one and guys, believe it or not, are more emotional. I think for guys, its kind of like once they see a girl, attractive or not, its potential. But this is my opinion, Ive been wondering, too. I have a lot of guy friends and they mostly all turn out to be into me, it really sucks cause I like them as friends but deep inside, if I didn't have a bf, they would try to be with me. They don't like to hear anything about my bf or just eventually hit on me and it pisses me off. I feel used in a way and betrayed.
Platonic relationships between males and females exist, if that's what you're asking.
There's always a chance that one, or both of the counterparts will fall for the other, but that doesn't mean it's inevitably going to happen.
Personally, I have male friends and female friends alike. I don't mind if a guy has female friends or vice versa - it means nothing to me (unless the man is so obviously more than friends with the females).
If you're cool and trustworthy, you could be a zebra and I wouldn't care. And I promise I won't doubtlessly fall in love with you just because you're my preferable gender.
Yes and no.
Females can have male best friends.
Males can not and hate the situation.
Source: Me and 2 other cases.
Males hate the situation because they know how guys think. Unless there are circumstances such as the male friend being gay than its dangerous to your own relationship with the female or at the very least inappropriate.
I don't understand why females constantly argue this when it's obvious what the situation is.
My boyfriend has a has a female best friend and the only reason I tolerate her is because she lives on the other side of the country. she is constantly bad mouthing me and crying to my boyfriend that he has abandoned her for me. it's truly pathetic. she has a husband and a child too. when we get married, I'm going to make her disappear for good
I also think it's a huge red flag when I start dating a woman and find out she has a male best friend or unusually close friend. One person I dated even called her guy friend her "work husband" (they worked that the same place). They'd go out for dinner or drinks together and were each other's confidants. Too often have I seen these relationships cross the line and I just don't want to invest myself in a relationship wondering if my new gf's "friend" will become a problem.
Speaking as a man, it's always ALWAYS a huge red flag when I meet a female and she mentions male "friends". Now it's slightly different if it's the husband of one of her friends or a "working" friendship.
I´m confused by you.
If a girl keeps guy-friends that have expressed interest around she enjoys the attention they are giving her and she is a bitch.
If they, like Rose, tells them to fuck of she is a bitch that blows things out of proportions?
How do you even get this to make sense in your own head?
There is also a HUGE difference between being attracted to someone or being in love with someone. I don´t even become friends with guys that I are attracted to- But if I were to disown every guy that thought I was pretty I would have a pretty small amount of friends.
As long as they know their place (I´m quick to tell them they are not my type and will never be my type either- The fault is theirs if they keep their hopes up because I certainly don´t encourage it)
And this is said with blunt honesty, not narcissism.
Now your putting words in my mouth. I never said women are bitches who do this. You said that above. All I said is continually keeping in touch with a guy, who has expressed an interest in being more than friends that you aren't interested in anything more, is an attention seeking mechanism.
Any self respecting guy laughs at stuff like this because it's so obvious what's going on. The most pathetic thing is those guys deceive themselves into thinking "eventually she'll see me as the good guy I am". They pay for drinks, dinners, basically everything the boyfriend does, but they get nothing in return.
You aren't gonna "put me in me place" or out debate me in this.
I had a very dear male best friend for 12 years since high school, but one day he told me what he wanted to do to me despite my being married so I dumped my so called friend. I really loved my old friend, and would have taken a bullet for him, yet conversely I'd rather let him drop dead than lay a finger on me. I HATE how selfish and entitled some people are with regard to their sexual desires and urges, it's disgusting.
In one sentence you just showed how ridiculous women can be with their emotions.
"I really loved my old friend and would have taken a bullet for him, yet conversely I'd rather have him drop dead than lay a finger on me"
You knew this person for 12 years and must have enjoyed some good times. What was his crime? Having sexual urges and expressing them?
This is what feminism has done to western civilization.
I would dump a "friend" like that too. And I certainly hope my boyfriend would have done the same!
Which basically goes back to my original point, opposite sex heterosexuals can't be friends.
Of course they can, but it´s rare that no part has attraction to the other one.
I have like ... ONE male friend I completely trust in that regard.
I'm not saying any of this to be insulting, but if he expressed emotions beyond a friendship and you weren't interested (for whatever reason) and he is still hanging around he's waiting for you to see him as "more than just a friend". Those feelings don't just "go away" once he's expressed them.
Some can some can't, but I don't wanna be friends with someone who wants from me what I cannot and will not give, because I don't share his or her inappropriate affections towards me.
Yes, having inappropriate urges and desires for me was his crime as well as betraying me and our friendship, not to mention disrespecting me and my then husband. My safety and serenity come first and to remain friends with such a person would be a blatant disrespect of my husband. Respecting my significant other is infinitely more important than worrying about hurting the feelings and or ego of someone who wants to get in my pants! I never keep secrets from the a spouse or significant other and I have no regrets about dumping someone who proved himself to be a major league creep!
Lol! How the F can people say that you are stupid for cutting him of?
As you say, it´s about respect for yourself and your significant other.
I would definitely have expected my boyfriend to dump a friend like that too.
After 12 years of "friendship" he suddenly became a creep? I'm sorry but I think you enjoyed the attention he gave you.
Truth is most if not all males have sexual desires about their attractive female friends. However, regardless of how long the friendship has gone on, expressing that would really make things awkward. Therefore, I don't know why you would even want to go there. She was married, so I don't see what exactly he was expecting to get out of it. I see where she's coming from.
I enjoyed my PLATONIC friendship with him and told him countless times that I thought of him as a brother. He was more than well aware that he wasn't and would never be my type.
Your entitled and accusatory attitude towards me causes me to suspect that you're not unlike my ex best friend, that's sad. Not everyone automatically objectifies their opposite sex friends. For me respect is a huge part of friendship, and I always make my feelings and intentions clear. You don't know me and I don't appreciate you making assumptions about me!
If there's any level of physical attraction between them, then I say no. It's very difficult to ignore sexual attraction for an indefinite amount of time. Idk though... I've had tons of girl friends I thought were really hot and we're just friend with them. And was comfortable with the way the relationship is/was. But that's not to say, if one of them tried to jump my bones Id say no. Women are fickle little creatures. Change their minds on a whim. so it's good to be available but not TOO available lol.
I heard about other people have managed to be just friends but it's not in my case.
Even brothers and sisters want to fuck each other sometimes. Unexpected desires are bound to pop up.