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You're together for yr and half it's awesome but then you fight & they ghost you for a few days and you're wondering if you just effed up everything because you disagreed on something stupid really stupid but the relationship was perfect until this argument they were saying they couldn't believe they had you and how happy you make them. Can it go back to that or can one argument over a silly thing end it?
| Yes | 28 | |
| No | 5 |
I was sorta 🤷♂️ after reading your OP, but your later replies make my opinion on this very clear.
TLDR: Walk away and don't look back.
She lied to you about meeting the guy which is suspicious enough on it's own. But then she either deliberately lied to you about that lying, or she's one of those messed up people who has the ability to completely believe her own BS when it makes her feel better about herself.
My first marriage was to a woman who was like that, and I gotta tell ya, bro, you definitely do not want a person like that in your life. This is called gaslighting these days, and it will totally fuck with your head. In this case, you have hard proof that she lied about who she was meeting, but I wouldn't put it past her to deny that she said she didn't lie about that during your argument. Go down this road, and you end up in such a tangled mess that you start to question your own memories, no matter how clear they are to you at the start.
I suppose it's possible that she's ghosting you because she knows she screwed up, she's embarrassed about that and she's one of those people who finds acknowledging her mistakes very difficult. But that's not the sort of person you want to be with either.
Or it could be that she's punishing you for calling her on her lie. That's really bad. You say you don't like conflict, and I completely understand that, but there comes a point where being a nice guy turns into being a doormat, and apologising to her for pointing out her lie seems to me to be pretty damn close to that.
Frankly, dude, I have to wonder if her initial lie about who she was meeting and her extreme touchiness about this whole subject means that good ol' Greg did indeed "have the best time" with her, if you know what I mean.
I'm pretty sure you can ruin just about anything in one day if you put your mind to it.
So what was this, "silly" argument about?
Few days ago we were watching a TV show cuddled together even laughing and happy and on the show the woman told her boyfriend she was meeting up with her sister when she was meeting another man so laughed and said thats why I got suspicious a few weeks ago when you said you were going out to lunch with family and I found out you went to lunch with another man.
So rewind I wasn't suspicious at the time at all but later that day on facebook I saw him post had the best time with you yesterday so I asked her about it and she said she didn't know why she said she was going out with family but that she did hang out with her male friend.
But after I mentioned that incident laughing while watching the show a few days ago she denied it saying she never told me she was going out with family that day I asked why she's lying and she told me to leave so I did & haven't heard from her. I have texts to prove it so I'm right but I didn't shove them in her face I just asked why she's lying about it when we already went through at the time and how it was a little shady
Her: Yeah I'm almost at my brother's house. We're having a bbq too bad you work.
Me: Have a good time I love you.
Her: Love you too babe.
Her later: Just leaving my brother's now I'll be home in 30 mins.
That exact time she was with Greg because the next day on her Facebook he wrote: Had the best time with you yesterday. We should do it again sometime.
And that day she confessed she never went to her brother's but Greg has a girlfriend now she hasn't seen him I'm not suspicious of her but I don't understand why she was denying that that's why we had a fight because she said she never said she was at her brother's for a bbq.
I can't stand a liar! Of course I personally don't take orders from anyone about whether I can have a platonic male friend either, so I don't lie, but I have no reason to lie.
Did you tell her she couldn't have a male friend, or something previously?
Thanks for understanding. No never cared if she had a male friend I have female friends I never hang out one on one with them but if I did I'd never feel like I needed to lie or deny it happened.
I since apologized to her in a text message I sent but I don't really feel at fault and had no idea what else to say to her. I just wish she didn't act like I made it up when it's verbatim what she said to me that she was going to her bros for a bbq then denying never having said that when it's in a text message. I don't know how to make her feel better because I don't like conflict between us.
Thanks for listening btw.
The fact that you feel you have to apologise to her when she is the one who lied, is a huge red flag. This is emotional manipulation at play.
I feel for you, man.
Never never NEVER apologise when you don't believe you're at fault and it's obvious the other person is in the wrong!
I suggest you end this "perfect" relationship before any more of her lies do your head in.
You deserve better than her lying ass. Gotta throw the fish that lie back in the sea!
Hmmm....
Is she lying, or are you asking for information that she feels you had no reason to know (private stuff to her) and she told white lies.
People often do not remember exactly what they say... so its not proof of lying for her to not remember her saying something (even if you have a text).
She had no requirement to tell you about her private life; and all people tell "white lies" to cover for things that people ask that they don't feel the person asking has any right or need to know.
Look back and consider the situation... Is she intentionally lying to intentionally deceive you; or is she not telling you about her private life with others.
Are you reacting poorly to a normal situation? If so, you may just have destroyed a budding good friendship.
However, either way: Yes you can destroy a relationship in a day. It can be done in less than 2 minutes for extreme situations (many documented cases of that). Why spend a whole day to do it.
If you pull off a complete shit streak with drug use and domestic abuse yes you can completely burn that bridge in a day.
Depends on the kind of bullshit happens. A person can only handle so much.
If you sleep with both of her sisters, you pretty much cooked your goose.
Depends what the argument was on. If it's a fundamental dealbreaker like being a pedophile or something, then yes it could end from one argument.
I would call into question why you got ghosted for a few days when it was "something really stupid." Maturity is attractive, and not ghosting people is generally a part of maturity.
This also might be a test to how you react, like 'if you really love them'. If you find out somehow that it was, THEN the relationship should end in a day because that shit doesn't fly.