Confessed my feelings to my best guy friend and got

38% Normal

A confused response...

He acts like he's into me constantly and even kissed my cheek before while staring at me calling me the most incredibly beautiful woman he's ever seen inside and out and he tells me he really likes me while staring at me constantly...He also hangs out with me 10x more than any of his friends

So I confessed and said I loved him as more than a friend and he said he felt the same and that he never loved anyone as much as he loves me and hugged me but then told me we're just friends and he doesn't want to be in a relationship. He's not a player or someone who sleeps around either. He said he's just not meant to be in a relationship and the thought of being in a relationship no matter how he feels about me makes him anxious.

So I said I can't be friends with you because I'm in love with you and I can't keep boundaries anymore because I want to be in a relationship with you and he said it would break his heart if I stopped talking to him.

I don't know how he can love me and treat me like his wife but not want to be in a relationship with me and no he's not gay he's straight. I don't get it. We already act like a married couple. He lives with me. He carries me into bed, we sleep in the same bed most days and yes we've done it a couple times. He cuddles me, cooks for me, I cook for him. We do everything together and we even argue when one of us seems into someone else. I don't get it.

Voting Results

38% Normal

Based on 13 votes (5 yes)

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Comments ( 22 )

RoseIsabella

2 years ago

That's very odd.

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- SwickDinging
  
  2 years ago
  
  Yes, I agree.
  
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Pilum

2 years ago

He probably has reasons why this gives him anxiety that are unrelated to you. I think you should be patient and talk to him about it. There must be a reason. It sounds like you two get on well, so I am lead to believe he has fear of relationships because of something different.

Maybe his parents had a really bad relationship, and maybe that makes him fearful that your relationship will sour if you establish it as a that. Just a thought. I have similar fears, and have responded similarly to women in the past.

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1WeirdGuy

2 years ago

Thats kind of weird

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iEatZombies_

2 years ago

I would suggest you stop all forms of intimate contact. Let him know you don't sleep with and cuddle your friends. See where it goes from there.

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SwickDinging

2 years ago

If I were you I would start looking for somewhere else to live.

You told him how you feel and have given the opportunity to make it a proper relationship. That was the right thing to do and you should feel good about that. He's told you he doesn't want a relationship. That's fine, his choice. But if you continue living with him this whole thing will continue on with you wanting something that he will not give you. You deserve better.

Moving out will give the chance to move on and find someone who wants to be with you.

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[Old Memory]

2 years ago

He may have commitment issues or be aromantic or not be attracted to you or he thinks you two wouldn't be compatible. I've experienced myself that someone can be a fantastic friend but in a relationship nothing works because you need to be compatible in other ways. Could be tons of reasons. I love my opposite gender friends, don't wanna date them or anything though. It sucks but if you can't get over it you should distance yourself from him. Just explain it's too painful.

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Ummitsstillme

2 years ago

Are you guys both on the same attractiveness level? No offense but if he is an 8 or above and you are less than 7, he might love and value you, but not want to bed you

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- Pilum
  
  2 years ago
  
  He has already bed her. Or, assuming it's a woman.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    2 years ago
    
    Yeah I'm a woman
    
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    - Pilum
      
      2 years ago
      
      Forgive me, these are strange times.
      
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  I don't think attractiveness has anything to do with it. We've slept together several times and I'm not one to say I'm so hot but I get catcalled often and asked out a lot. He's average looking to most women my friends say I'm out of his league although I find him really handsome because I love him
  
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  - olderdude-xx
    
    2 years ago
    
    There are several possibilities here; and it's hard to diagnose.
    
    He does like you and wants to be your friend. That's a huge plus. You need to be patient a bit with him... I dated a Lady about 42 years ago that I fell madly in love with... and she did not feel the same. So marriage did not work out. But, we parted gracefully from the romantic relationship and agreed that we were both decent people and could be friends...
    
    40+ years later she is my very best friend of my entire life (we text and talk all the time, and get together periodically even though she is 6 hours away).
    
    Now we did actually restart a romantic relationship about 18 years ago after she was divorced; but, she still did not want to marry me. So we went back to just being friends.
    
    Don't turn down what life offers you... Good friends are hard to find and develop. He's likely a keeper just for that; and things may turn out otherwise later.
    
    I wish you the best with this,
    
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jrbsportz

2 years ago

Sounds like to me you already in a relationship? He needs to man up and quit pussying foot around before he lose you to someone that does!!! Just saying

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  Thanks for the response. That's why I'm confused even his own parents think I'm his girlfriend
  
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  - jrbsportz
    
    2 years ago
    
    You know i was thinking about your situation? Maybe you need to stop doing the girl friend things and then when he realizes it call him out!!! Just saying
    
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    - SkullsNRoses
      
      2 years ago
      
      Exactly, he thinks he doesn’t want to be with you so give him a good healthy dose of what he thinks he wants.
      
      Stop acting like his girlfriend, stop cuddling him, stop cooking for him, certainly stop sleeping with him and go on a few dates with other men. He will either wake up and ask you to be his girlfriend or he won’t and you can start to move on.
      
      You deserve more than a “situationship” and if he’s not willing to commit to you he has no right whatsoever to get annoyed at you for seeing other guys. Know your worth.
      
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lolman787

2 years ago

does he really have a penis?

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- SkullsNRoses
  
  2 years ago
  
  Given that they’ve had sex I would assume so.
  
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Sanara

2 years ago

Maybe he's just not physically attracted to you, or he's asexual. In a relationship you are supposed to also be sexually intimate, and maybe he doesn't feel like that

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- RoseIsabella
  
  2 years ago
  
  I do believe that they have had intimate knowledge of one another.
  
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Grunewald

2 years ago

I think he might have a set idea of what a relationship is and not realise that what you have can also be one. That, or he doesn't want to be exclusive.

But what do I know?

You're not in the wrong - I know that much. You take care. This sounds like an awfully painful situation for both of you.

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Are You Normal?

Confessed my feelings to my best guy friend and got