Confession

What's yours?

I had a dream several months ago about my brother who had committed suicide. He spent about half my childhood severely physically abusing me and my mother would take his side, even when he would strangle me, threaten to kill me, and give me black eyes. She would blame me. I was a girl and it started when I was 12 and he was 19, already grown.

He killed himself in 2018. In the dream, he held my face and shouted, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" I'll never tell anyone in my family. Everyone mourns him, even I do. He was severely mentally ill and no one got him the help he needed. When he would beat me, my mother would call the cops, tell them I was suicidal, and they would take *me* away in handcuffs. I was always blamed.

Horrifically, the only person to pull him off of me when he was beating me was my other brother, but this other brother was molesting me. The abuse only fully stopped when I got a boyfriend at 17, who I'm still with at 26.

So those are my secrets. My abuser haunts my dreams telling me he hates me.

(with the exception of my address, social security/debit card number & where I keep my money) I haven't kept a secret, I'm an open book. If someone ever asked something about me I told them about it.

not telling!!!

No thanks.

im waitin for a flight

i drank a double vodka bloody mary at the bar by the gate

planes a bit late so i might go get another

why dont foreign airports have proper bars with bartenders and drink & food menus and such?

its always food court shit with single beers available and i gotta bus my lunch tray like its junior high

When I was seven years old I peed my pants in public.

I get girlfriends that i hate and i can't admit it. And then i can't break up with them, they have to break up with me. It's a pain in the ass.
But, I've been single for 2 years and a half years now :D And i havent had sex in 3 years and a half because i dont want to end up having another shitty girlfriend that i hate because i can't say no.
(Yes in the last year of my last relationship i wasnt having sex).
I really hate women. My mother abused me. Well both my parents did. I think it has something to do with my secret.
What's your deepest darkest secret?

There are several suicidal people in my life who are mooching assholes that abuse everyone around them, yet expect those same people they hurt to help them. All they do is take and take, and give nothing back. I really wish they'd actually kill themselves. Truth is everyone's lives would be easier if they just died. XD

😈🤫

I definitely either just developed Lactose Intolerance out of nowhere or I suddenly have IBS.
Cause ain’t no way this is how it’s supposed to be

Also I regret about 50% of my tattoos