Convincing hillbillies that jesus is asian

11 Comments

The Souths favorite sky hippie that died to save us! The surprisingly Eastern European looking sandal wearing giant who seems to hang out in little backwoods churches in Tennessee and Alabama and make fat half wits scream and act crazy, The entity who loved his creation so much that he made a place to torment & torture for all who break the rules who cant solve the riddles and hints within a certain amount of time. The man with flowing Brown locks who is away on business for an extended amount of time & seems to be concerned about money and politics and has a Spanish/Dominican name and has a place in the sky for crackers and is the main inspiration for the Bible cannon..well I want to organize a street team to tour the south teaching hillbillies that's Hes either Asian or African & He has decided to stay gone even longer since media outlets (Television,internet etc) can control 10X the amount of docile half wits via a campaign of fear and consumption and blind devotion. Anybody interested?

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Comments ( 11 )
  • jodi1955
    2 years ago | pl

    Jesus was a Jew, and from Israel, therefore he is olive skinned, not white or black,

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  • Somenormie
    2 years ago

    I didn't know Jesus was secretly Jesus Lee Chen.

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    • ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet
      2 years ago

      Jesus Hong Christ.

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  • MsAnthropeE
    2 years ago

    And in order to avoid pain and torment for all eternity, these people must learn to use chopsticks & acknowledge their MSG addiction or go down into hell via a secret hatch in the bottom of the casket and all the ones who are cremated as well. Because even if you're dead or a pile of ashes, somehow your pain receptors still work. Its secret love magic! No opposition allowed! His full name is Jesus Wong Nguyen and He has found a place in another realm were building supplies can be obtained for the mansions for the fat and the extreme elderly and the astronomical amount of preachers who bang kids. No snowflakes allowed! Just scared white honkies . If this sounds like you then GET READY because you are about to hear the good news!

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  • Dot123
    2 years ago

    The real Jesus was actually Buddhist. There is also like 5 different versions of Jesus.

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  • Meatballsandwich
    2 years ago

    Jesus was a jew, not black or asian.

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  • Tommythecaty
    2 years ago

    He was Jewish Israeli.

    It’s not open to interpretation.

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  • Clunk42
    2 years ago

    This reminds me of an interesting question that no one knows the answer to. What is God's skin color? I mean, we know that God has a skin color, because humanity is made in His image and likeness, but what is that skin color? The world may never know.

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
      2 years ago

      hes represnted in yalls catholic church by a cracker so i assume hes white

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    always easy to recognize when you write a post. . But anyway jesus is portrayed as asian in a lot of asian churches in asian countries. Just like hes portrayed other races in other countries. Jesus was a jew. His skin was "like bronze and hair like wool" just like people have from the middle east today where jesus was from. No one really argues against this my preacher will also tell you he's middle eastern.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    2 years ago

    i went to asian jesus church but im just hungry for salvation like an hour later

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