Dark humor

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?

My wife left a note on the fridge saying, “this is not working”. I don’t know what she’s talking about, the fridge is working fine.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.

I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins, I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden.

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

My son's dick tasted like horse semen, now I know how my daughter died.

If we gave 50 miles of bug nets & 1000 gallons of insect repellent to Africa, we could save hundreds of millions.........Of mosquitos from dying of aids.

What's a black guy in the ocean?
Pollution
What's all black people in the ocean?
Solution

Everything I say is a dark joke, but I have no sense of humour.

Black ppl jump high because their kneegrows