Dating someone inexperienced and insecure

I am dating an autistic man whos never dated before and we are in our mid 20s. I am autistic as well but ive dated a lot though ive never gotten very far. I am asexual-ish/greysexual and I have bad social anxiety and so does he..
Its like I get verbally and physically paralyzed and cant do anything in many situations.

Its very awkward with him but also easier. He asks every time he wants to kiss me if its okay which isnt attractive. Usually I wouldve rejected him because for me to come out of my shell I need someone who makes me feel safe but my mom has been bugging me about how I have to get a boyfriend.
He didnt get upset when I told him about my sexuality, he finds it confusing but is fine with it. He has no understanding of social cues, worse than me. I feel there is potential for more than friendship but I need more. He'll put his arm around me then get concerned and ask me if hes violating any boundries. He's said he wants to spend lots of time with me but I dont find him clingy. His job is his special interest and he spends A TON of time on that. I appreciate that because he makes time for me the best he can. He works from home but he's very set in his work hours. My mother finds him clingy/desperate based on what i've told her but I disagree. All the things he feels is the same stuff I feel when I meet someone I really like. Ive been taught to keep those excited feelings to myself though as neurotypicals find a lot of things desperate.
I dated a guy once who was truly Desperete... He started neglecting his job, insisted upon picking me up every day and would send sad rants about his ~aching heart~ if I was busy, said he loved me etc and all that after knowing me for 2 weeks...
Anyway the only issue I have with the guy im dating now is that hes insecure and has no romantic behaviour. He wants me to take the lead more but I am too anxious. I am working on my anxiety in therapy again currently and its hell because so far nothing has ever fixed it.