Desire to be a wino

54 Comments

I don't drink any alcohol except for wine, I developed that habit several months ago, perhaps in February 2020, when I decided a wino just gets drunk on wine and has wine and no other alcohol. Chardonnay and shiraz are the only wines I choose to drink, I pour myself a glass of wine and hey presto, I'm drunk on a glass of wine, then I drink another glass of wine and get even drunker, usually a 2nd glass isn't sufficient so I pour a third glass of wine and then I'm satisfied. But I'm also writing the best philosophical work known to mankind while I'm drunk on wine, and it turns out as great as any person would say it's great. I don't have an opinion, opinions are against my religion, and believing people's claims is also against my religion, therefore it's a widespread judgement that I'm going to be drunk on wine.

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Comments ( 54 )
  • litelander8
    3 years ago

    Opinions are against your religion?? How do you even function?

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    • Hansberger
      3 years ago

      I function by having another belief or judgement, something that other people think, mostly those thoughts I made up, that's why I have no opinions.

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      • litelander8
        3 years ago

        Those are opinions 😂😂

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        • Hansberger
          3 years ago

          No they're not, an opinion is a personal belief or judgement or a judgement made by an expert, personal means 1. individual or private, 2. of the body, as in personal hygiene, and 3. (of a remark etc) offensive. Therefore I have no opinions.

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      • jud3IV3
        3 years ago

        You sounds like a psychopath

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
      3 years ago

      its gotta be a hansburger post

      ergo it makes perfect sense in his world

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      • Hansberger
        3 years ago

        It would bloody well make sense to you if you were mixing a chardonnay with tonic water! Wine tastes great, a wino is one on wine, but I suppose I'm asking for too much if I don't drink that stuff hobo style, those are facts not opinions!

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        • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
          3 years ago

          i only drink red wine and dont mix it with anythin

          unless im makin clam sauce in which case i use pinot grigio and sample it while im cookin

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      • freelarking
        3 years ago

        Nailed it.

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      • litelander8
        3 years ago

        This muthafukka.

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  • Hansberger
    3 years ago

    I remember my days of trying a Johnny Walker Red Label Scotch, but it's just whisky, how is whisky classy compared to wine? It's an insult to the intelligence!

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    • Tommythecaty
      3 years ago

      Proper scotch is far, far higher in class than a lot of wine Hans. Not that Johnny walker garbage.

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      • S0UNDS_WEIRD
        3 years ago

        Tommy the Cat had many a story to tell, and this one's on point.

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        • Tommythecaty
          3 years ago

          But it was a rare occasion, such as this, that he did.

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      • Hansberger
        3 years ago

        Wrong, Scotch isn't classy, I'm keeping it the way it always has been, and that is drinking wine.

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      • RoseIsabella
        3 years ago

        My mom likes scotch, and she also likes vodka.

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        • Tommythecaty
          3 years ago

          I don’t like vodka, it tends to make me really moody and irrational.

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          • RoseIsabella
            3 years ago

            I think the main liquor that I don't like is gin, gin just tastes gross.

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    • S0UNDS_WEIRD
      3 years ago

      If we're being real, we drink alcoholic beverages for the alcohol anyway. Taste is secondary. Anyone who disputes that is in denial. We all know pure fruit juice tastes better than even great wine and definitely better than beer, etc., not that alcoholic beverages can't be quite decent.

      If we're bringing intellectualism into it, it's smarter to just skip the bullshit and consume the desired amount of alcohol in the least amount of liquid that's reasonable.

      If I know that I want about a 6-pack's worth of alcohol, instead of playing games drinking a 6-pack or drinking 3 5-oz glasses of even great wine, I'd much rather prefer to just pour a triple shot, down it with a tasty chaser, and move on in 20 seconds without needing to later urinate or waste my time.

      Maximisation of time is a key intellectual trait. Snobbery means nothing to intellectuals; efficiency does.

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      • Hansberger
        3 years ago

        Er, snobbery, nothing to intellectuals? Do you think snobs are stupid? They're bloody well not! I've seen men in suits on YouTube talk about atheism, and believe me, they're intellectuals!

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        • S0UNDS_WEIRD
          3 years ago

          Well of course; there is no god and there's a positive correlation between intellect and atheism. What does that have to do with snobbery?

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          • Hansberger
            3 years ago

            A snob is a person who imitates or has an admiration for people of superior standing or one who looks down on others he considers inferior. Wearing a suit and tie is snobbish, rather prudish, and intellectual snobs include the atheists (who are really pseudo-intellectuals), the scientists, and the professors and philosophers, pseudo-intellectual snobs include dentists and medical doctors who act as if they were educated or teach in a school when they're not even professors and not smart, but play the same game as the intellectuals: they're not as stupid as you think. The whole being with pseudo-intellectuals is fake!

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      • YE
        3 years ago

        I couldn't agree more.

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    I prefer spiced rum.

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    • Hansberger
      3 years ago

      Spiced rum, disgusting! Rum of any sort can make me sick, the only alcohol that goes down well other than alcohol that tastes like piss or poison is wine.

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      • YE
        3 years ago

        Virgin nervous system, huh?

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      • raisinbran
        3 years ago

        You're delusional.

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        • Hansberger
          3 years ago

          Delusional? How is that so? The truth is everything I believe. If I have a belief I'm not right or wrong, am I right?

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      • RoseIsabella
        3 years ago

        To each their own, and rum, specifically spiced rum, is my preference. I'm not a wine person, and I probably never will be.

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  • bigbudchonga
    3 years ago

    3 glasses a day aint too bad, dude; you can function on that no problem. I drink 15 liters of 7.3% cider every week and my liver test came back perfectly fine. I am a pretty big guy though.

    If you wanna be a proper wino then you've got to up that shit drastically.

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  • NoaKoa
    3 years ago

    That used to be me

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    • Hansberger
      3 years ago

      Woohoo! We have one thing in common!

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  • SmokeEverything
    3 years ago

    If you really wanna be a wino you gotta drink MD 20/20. Chardonnay and shiraz you're just a regular alcoholic poser

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    • Hansberger
      3 years ago

      Maybe a wino is just a regular alcoholic poser, the standard definition of wino is: a person addicted to wine.

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      • litelander8
        3 years ago

        Seems like an opinion to me.

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        • SmokeEverything
          3 years ago

          Idk I think its a fact that if you drink expensive wine you're just a fancy alcoholic. If you're a wino you're drinking cheap wine.

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          • Hansberger
            3 years ago

            Then I'm drinking cheap wine, why not?

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          • litelander8
            3 years ago

            I drink wine. I know it. And know A LOT of people who also drink it...

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            • SmokeEverything
              3 years ago

              My point was a wino isnt drinking expensive wine.

              Its like somebody who gets crazy strains of weed is different from somebody who just smokes regs all day.

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  • freelarking
    3 years ago

    Some people mistake selectiveness with refinement and it's really just ignorant wannabe elitism. Just my opinion though...

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    • Hansberger
      3 years ago

      The two above wines are the finest you can have, I can't stand bubbly wine, can you imagine? Bubbles bursting in my mouth, the taste of rotten white grapes in my mouth, like a cheap soda water, blugh! If it was a full-bodied white with the taste of a fine grape, like Chardonnay, it tastes better, it's the world's finest, and as for shiraz it's a quite fine wine, a very mild taste of grapes with cocoa, liquorice, and lemon flavours and a coffee nose with a hint of leather. :)

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  • DeletThis
    3 years ago

    Wine is healthy, and mental drunkenness isn't even real anyway. It's just goofy normal-brains going like a dog after a ball that's still in your hand.

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    • Hansberger
      3 years ago

      Mental drunkenness? Have you tried a bottle of a chardonnay, or a bottle of a cabernet sauvignon? Suck my arse! You know very well a true friend in distress needs a wine to get them drunk!

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      • DeletThis
        3 years ago

        My friend, I have performed alcoholic experiments upon myself to prove this. Think about it next time you chug that bottle. Challenge yourself to keep your wits about you. Only your body is affected, which is a placebo to your mind. Normal-brains can't quite grasp it. Ascend.

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      • freelarking
        3 years ago

        I thought you didn't drink cabernet?

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        • Hansberger
          3 years ago

          I don't, the point is if you drank any wine you would know what it's like.

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