Do adult women find it condescending to be called girls?
It's pretty common to call women girls but to call men guys instead of boys. I'm a guy and I think it would find it a little condescending if I was called a boy
| Yes | 10 | |
| A little | 5 | |
| No | 17 |
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Comments ( 22
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Curiouskitten444
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ospry
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ospry
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bigbudchonger
I call my mate's lads, and I suppose that could be taken as demeaning, but it's not meant to be, and they don't take it as such.
I think people who get offended by this kind of thing are just looking for problems tbh. My mum works in retail and she can't even call people darling or sweetie anymore. It's gotten ridiculous.
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Anonymous Post Author
"Hey, girl, it's been a while!"
"Look here, girl"I guess the intent does make a big difference, like with you calling your friends lads
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Grunewald
Most people who call me 'girl' do it or have done it when they're 'talking down' to me (school teachers, relatives, adults speaking to me as a child, threatening older kids, angry self-righteous customers or randos who want to feel superior), and there's this expectation that as a female child you are supposed to be 'good' and submit quietly to the authority of your betters. Joshing and joking and cheekiness appeared to be accepted to a certain extent in 'lads' (because "boys will be boys") but in girls they were a sign of impudence or bossiness, which were treated with zero tolerance whatsoever for us. Now though we're all adults and we're supposed to be equal... riiight?
Maybe being called 'girl' is similar to someone calling you 'kid', in that they're addressing you as someone inferior to them and you're supposed to 'behave' in a way that the person addressing you wants you to.
In any case, when a random person calls me 'girl', it's jarring, and it is to a lot of women. I am not inferior to that person.
I believe black women have it worse: I was increasingly called a 'lady' in my mid-twenties, but black women continue to be referred to as 'girl'.
Also, men sometimes call women 'girl' when they're just looking at them like someone they want to have sex with (and not as a complex human being with a personality, dreams and quirks just like them). I find that demeaning because when I'm talking to someone I don't want to be reduced to a 'thing' that is only good for anything if it services their boner, if you get my drift.
For me, it's definitely a matter of negative associations with past patterns of interactions.
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JellyBeanBandit
The word 'boy' is often used in a similar way. Like saying "Me and the boys are out tonight", or the song "The Boys are back in Town".
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Tommythecaty
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profanity
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BleedingPain
Words are just words. I love it when people misgender me (although my hair may be too long now).
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bbrown95
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Rocknrolla81
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kikilizzo
English is not my first language so that may affect how I feel about this, but no I wouldn't find it condescending. I'm not a "girl" though as i'm pretty sure the word "girl" refers to a woman 18 years and under, but "girl" can also be used instead of "woman" and be at least acceptable.
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Tinybird
No, I like being called a girl, and I don't want to be with a man, ew, I want to be with a boy, sounds cuter. I'd hope people refer to me as a girl, not a woman, because the way I look act and feel is not a woman but more appropriate to call me a girl.
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555
From the perspective of a foreigner, it seems like English -speaking people sometimes see "woman" as some kind of dirty word, and "girl" as the cleaner version of woman. Songs with the word "girl" tend to be more romantic, while the ones with the word "woman" are more pejorative, specially if the singer is a male.
I may be tripping though.Comment Hidden ( show ) -
kelili
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hauntedbysandwiches
Nope we call ourselves girls forever even elderly women 80+ say "going out with my girls to play bingo" just as men say "going out with the boys to play poker"
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malaparte
It's more condescending if a man is doing it, especially if he's doing it in what should be a professional context, or he's using it in a way to imply incompetence or inferiority.
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Cuntsiclestick