Do all of you believe in second chances?

Okay, I'm referencing the post about animal abuse. When do we give abusers a second chance? I mean, the person did say they were in therapy.
If every abuser didn't get a second chance at life, and love, whether it be human or animal, we'd have a lot of lonely people in the world.
To deprive a former abuser the right to own an animal or have a family seems counter-productive. Why are we even spending millions to rehabilitate criminals and abusers if we just use their past against them, when they wish to do something normal, like establishing a family or adopting a pet? What is the point of rehabilitation if they cannot try to go on and live happy lives?

Voting Results
44% Normal
Based on 16 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • kikilizzo

    Some do, most don't.
    People don't really change. If anything bad people change into worse people because as we age we only become more of whom we really are. Some get better at hiding it though, but that's about it.
    Rehabiliating criminals is a nice idea but it's useless. My country is all about no real punishment, focus on rehabiliating, and I can't exactly say it's going well...

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    • Tommythecaty

      “If anything bad people change into worse people because as we age we only become more of whom we really are”

      Incorrect, the majority of “bad people” traits lessen in severity with age. It’s well documented fact.

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    • olderdude-xx

      I disagree in that people often do change. The question is in which direction. Better or worse.

      There are indeed a significant number of people who understand that they really did wrong in the past and do (often with time) change for the better.

      My position on the base question is that people deserve a chance for a 2nd chance. Sadly, most people decline that chance when they are offered it (or try to fake it and just want a more lenient punishment); which is why so many people give up on offering 2nd chances (and occasional 3rd chances).

      I'll post more on that in a separate post.

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    • normal-rebellious

      Right, people don't really change, that's true, it works. Bad people still do some of the same things they've always done, but as extraordinarily evil as they are one time, the next day it's a watered down version. It happens.

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  • KholatKhult

    Every resource spent on “rehabilitating” abusers and predators is resource that is being taken away from helping recover their victims.

    Rose made an excellent point on that post, having a pet is a luxury. You do not have a right to owning an animal.
    Never should one who is mentally able to commit abuse against a child ever be allowed around children. It takes a very very sick individual to harm a child. These people are irredeemable.

    Pacifism is a fantastical luxury allowed only to the privileged who employ non-pacifists to keep themselves safe. I believe in stomping out abuse and predatory behavior outright. I have zero tolerance for the allowance of harmful behavior being forced on victims, and I have zero tolerance for protectionism over the perpetrators.

    I refuse to publicly show any leniance or compassion towards these individuals, I believe in promoting a very violent and horrifying image of vigilantism. Abusers and predators deserve not a single moment of peace, may those who harm the innocent live forever in fear, and ideally, not live at all.

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    • normal-rebellious

      You're not understanding stage red people, the stage of war and destruction, that's why they don't care and will hurt you, when enough becomes enough they grow out of it eventually, you're probably happy as can be to be who you are right now, I don't trust these red people, I'm not doing stupid things like crime and sniffing cocaine, I'm a religious, principled kind, and I run amuck going out for pasta and smoking cigarettes, the good things in life.

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  • profanity

    Most people dont change.

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  • Ligeia

    Depends on a lot of things. The type of abuse; a child abusing an animal is different than an adult abusing a child, for instance. Whether or not the abuser feels remorse and have received a consequence for their actions. Etc

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  • yjing

    There s a say that goes "the second time is a favour, the third one is stupidity". Like ok a second chance can be given in some cases .. but def not a third.

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  • olderdude-xx

    My position is that people deserved to be evaluated for a chance at getting a 2nd chance.

    Many people do in fact understand that they did wrong (even if they don't understand why or how), am sorry about it, would like to do better in the future - and am willing to work on improving and know that it will take time before they are really offered that 2nd chance.

    However, a large group of abusers don't meet that criteria - and will not change for the better until they do.

    So there's a several stage evaluation process.

    1) Do they know that they did wrong, am sorry about it, and want to do better?

    2) Are they initially willing to commit to some kind of program appropriate for their situation, and understand that they will not actually be granted that 2nd chance until they complete the program (which often takes years - instant changes in people are rare, although they do occasionally occur)?

    IF the above 2 criteria are "Yes" then get them into a treatment/change program.

    The next evaluation is if they are really working at the program and making progress... or are they just doing the minimum (if anything). IF they are not making adequate progress - the program and chance at a 2nd chance ends.

    Finally, towards the end of the program the person must be given in gradual increments that 2nd chance while being monitored. Most people come out of the programs fundamentally changed and have overcome their issues that led them to the abuse; and have earned the chance for a 2nd chance (and should get it). But, some do not; and the chance of a 2nd chance has to be ended at that point for those not ready when tested.

    I note that many times people are not willing to change after being caught; but, years later they are. It's OK to restart the evaluation process years later if they are ready and willing to work at improving.

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  • Holzman_67

    Yep!

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  • kelili

    I'm not for second chances for sexual predators unless they are biologically castrated.

    And yes, I see your point and I agree with you even if I also do believe that they get not only one but many chances. Most criminals do get out of prison and it's a personal choice about what they choose to do once free. As for the person wanting to adopt there's nothing that stops her/him from doing so. Our opinions might be hurtful but in no way it acts as a deterrent.

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  • normal-rebellious

    Yes, I believe in second chances, there's another shot at life to try something normal, I generally think it's true because it works, rehabilitated ex-criminals get another shot at life, it's so. All this because there's no negative value in life, it has no meaning.

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  • litelander8

    Who is rehabilitating criminals??

    I think you might not be all with it.

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  • LloydAsher

    Some do, some dont, some can get third chances.

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  • Tinybird

    I agree. No human is perfect. I've never even abused anyone but I get treated like I have, and yes it is incapacitatingly lonely being treated this way.

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    • normal-rebellious

      Tinybird, enjoy your arse, you always sit on it, is your arse gross? Or do you want to take off your bum like it's a detachable leg? There's nothing like talking to a woman like you who knows her place, that event of yours happens to autistic people and yes it's a problem, since you're sane about it you will appraise and anticipate it, be real and firm in your thinking and continue acting this way, that means you don't need weird things like "brain" medicine and doctor's prescriptions, that's going out. Rest assured everyone here on this site likes you.

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