Do i have ptsd or am i just being a wimp?

33% Normal
3 Comments

I think I have borderline PTSD from my time in bootcamp. I was the final "the guy" in bootcamp and my Chief made it a living hell for me to want to quit so he can get his sixteenth asmo seperation from our division. I've been told by several other rdcs that this specific chief had actually had a personal hatred for me rather than a standard recruit to instructor hatred. So much so he actually smashed a mug full of coffee when he heard I passed the final physical test.

I just keep these reoccurring flashbacks of the event. It was a standard 20 minute sustained run, easy for everyone if you kept a constant pace which I could do. Chief had other ideas at this point he had basted the fear my fear Turkey way beyond nessisary and said if I did not keep pace with him i will be seperated for insubordination which he actually did for the last "the guy" so he wasn't bullshitting. massive problem here is that he was a marathon runner and I was more of a strength over cardio guy.

So it's a 3 2 1 Run and by run chief fucking sprints I catch up of course and barely keep his pace for 5 minutes and I know this can be construed as he was pushing me to be my finest but as I stopped to try to get my heart rate at a non critical level he berates me and grabs me to catch up (that's a no no in bootcamp) at some point my brain desides just to go to sleep. I wake up after face planting while going at a full run. With the chief crying I was being a little bitch and my other RDCs seeing if I'm alright. Get to medical, cleared.

Pass bootcamp (to the disgust of chief) after 2 years find out my heart is actually smaller than average and that high of a bpm had the legitimate chance of my heart rupturing.

I've always had flashbacks whenever I had to do PRTs getting to bad that I've had sudden onset sicknesses just at the prospect of a countdown to run like my body was actually deteriorating to prevent me from just running.

The only reason why I havent seeked help for this its because it's a pretty piss poor reason to have PTSD in this day an age isnt it? I would rather deal with this than be branded as a snowflake.

Thanks for reading the wall of text I dont to that often.

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 3 votes (1 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 3 )
  • CountessDouche
    4 years ago

    It's really weird that people gatekeep PTSD. You don't have to be buttraped with a broken bottle to be traumatized. It could be anything, death of a pet, a car accident. If you feel legitimately emotionally shook & it us negatively effecting your life, then you have some issues to deal with.

    Stop invalidating your own feelings & calling yourself a pussy. You wouldn't do that to a friend if they were legitimately upset & suffering, so don't do it to yourself. Stop telling yourself that your feelings "don't count" because what you went through is "not that bad."

    If your problems are effecting your life & your happiness, there us NO SHAME in asking for help.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • asdfgh0987
    4 years ago

    PTSD can happen to anyone for any traumatic incident. You're insanely strong for putting up with that, but you're not immune to trauma because of it. It's not a "bad reason" to have PTSD. There are no has reasons to have PTSD. That was a really difficult time for you and it still haunts you. You're not a pussy. Nobody with PTSD is a pussy. You're strong enough to have gone through all that and still carry on and live. I would seek therapy, though, so you can talk about your feelings and maybe treat this so it won't get any worse.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    Change your poll to multiple choice of PTSD, or wimp. Maybe even add an I don't know option.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0