Do unattractive guys struggle with unrequited love more?

I dont think so. I've through the years seen many "unattractive" people in happy relationships, surprisingly more of them having happy relationships than the conventionally attractive people i've come across! I think it's because the more one has to choose from the pickier one gets and the more one realizes that they can rely heavily on their looks the risk is developing a boring or even stuck up, rude personality. I also think many of those experiencing unrequieted love either needs to date in their leauge or work on themselves.

I think people should try to look for someone in their own league. I honestly can't feel sorry for someone who looks like a human-toad, and feels sad, because the gorgeous people won't give em the time of day. I firmly believe that birds of a feather flock together! I think a less than attractive person should look for someone on their level looks wise.

Not necessarily, as finding someone physically attractive isn’t the same as love. Honestly if someone doesn’t return your affection, that in itself should turn you off of them.

Disclaimer: I'm going to be discussing a few typical gender differences I've noticed throughout my life. _Obviously_ men and women are not made with cookie cutters. I'm just not going to type this after every other line so for convenience's sake I'll be writing as if stating outright unwavering facts when I'm merely stating what I've personally seen a lot for whatever reason. Okay.

They surely do more than attractive men, but likely less than unattractive women. The thing is that even when a woman is shallow, there's at least a decent chance that she's shallow in ways that are more concerned with money, social status, etc.

When men are shallow, they really don't give a flying fuck about anything besides how hot the woman is. Most shallow men are even fairly likely to reject a filthy rich woman or a celebrity if she's sufficiently unattractive whereas shallow women might jump right on that sort of stuff even though the man is physically unattractive.

Even besides extremely shallow people, I think the average woman is usually less fussed about looks than the average man is all the same. At least it seems that way. It's much rarer to see a man with a woman noticably less attractive than him than vice versa, which is pretty common, and often even with the woman still finding him attractive in his own unique way after falling for him.

Sometimes I fear that I'm subconsciously guilty of being like a shallow man because all of my girlfriends have been rather attractive, but it's almost certainly coincidence and I _highly_ doubt it because looks are almost the outright least important thing to me in a woman. I think the only things that are less important to me than looks are financial and social status. Personality, morality, mutual views, and common interests are all way more important to me.

In conclusion I'd say unattractive women have it a bit worse than unattractive men because there are less women who are shallow in specifically physical regards and men can more easily compensate whereas unattractive women are basically shit out of luck if the man they fall for is a shallow man.

One could argue that being unattractive is an advantage in that it automatically weeds out the shallow, just like poor people don't have to deal with the very real likelihood that people befriending them are hoping they're going to buy them shit and bail them out of all their financial trouble.

But it certainly comes with an opportunity count disadvantage. Even for someone like me who doesn't care much about looks, I can notice an attractive woman at a distance in public and think like, "Well damn. That's a really pretty woman right there." I might be slightly more likely to start a conversation with her.

But I can't see a stranger I've never spoken to and think, "Dammmnnn. That personality tho. Those mutual hobbies. God damn. This fucking woman."

And that's with it being more important to me. My life would definitely be easier if women had floating data over their heads like "long-term relationship material", "hell, probably a cool friend even if it doesn't work out", "total bitch", "might fuck your dog", and "run".

I would actually be totally fine with coincidentally falling for a woman with other amazing qualities all the way across the board but who had been treated unattractive her entire life due to not being the typical media brand of attractive. Looks don't matter to me anyway but I'd also no doubt start thinking she was adorable in some way special and unique to her as I fell further in love with her. I'd do so much for her self-esteem. I love making people feel good and building them up to be more confident in life.

Still, it would be super fucked up to just actively seek someone for that reason. Just like I didn't actively choose classically beautiful ex-girlfriends based on looks, I just wait until I coincidentally fall for someone. At odds with my very logical personality, in matters of love, I don't plan ahead or even actively seek to date ever; I just go where the heart and "fate" take me.

One final note: I really hope these women who rejected you were only beautiful by coincidence just like my ex-girlfriends were beautiful only by coincidence. If personality isn't coming into play and you're just beauty-seeking your own self, you can't really complain if the women apply a similar filter on their dating lives.

Well, my husband is rather hideous and I'm not, if thats indicative of anything.

Yes, physically unattractive people struggle with this the most and it's normal.

I makes sense. Many people want the same thing, so your overall chances will be lower (not necessarily zero) if you don't look what most people find attractive. Lowering your standards could help, but at the same time there's no real use if you cant get with someone you're at least a little bit attracted to and also fit with personality wise.

I also think most people underestimate the importance of appearance in relationships. It logically shouldn't matter that much, personality obviously means more and you don't have to be absolutely flawless. But it affects feelings. I cant remember a single time where I have found someone ugly visually on first meeting, but later ended up feeling romantically or sexually attracted to them. And how many people have? In a relationship that's meant to be physically intimate beyond hugging there should be some physical attraction.

Either way the best for you would most certainly be to lose weight, not only improving your chances but more importantly your long term health and makes moving around easier