Do you brush your teeth or eat first?

Eat first, then brush the acids, bacteria, and other cool things away, so for the rest of the morning my teeth are clean and not decaying.

Where’s the don’t brush option....

Brush your teeth twice.
:-)

Seriously, I brush afterwards.

I'll brush before and after. I can't eat when I know my mouth ain't quite clean and I know my breath stinks, which honestly happens to everyone once it's been several hours since last brushing, especially if you've eaten something since. Since I can't always brush after I eat when I'm out, I'll use an alternative to freshen my breath; tic tacs, gum, mints, or rinse with a pocket sized mouthwash I carry around. I'll brush when I get home or when I next get the chance. But I know first thing in the morning, my breath will be bad and I have to at least do a quick brush before eating. I hate germs and am a compulsive self cleaner. I must take at least one shower a day, at least two in the summer, I brush about 3 times a day, and I rinse with mouthwash, chew gum, tic tacs, etc. several more times a day.

The first thing I do when I wake up is scratch my balls & put some loungewear on.
Food first, brush just before you go out on a morning.

Wow I thought I'd be weird for brushing first but come on, it puts somewhat of a "shield" for a few minutes so it's not that weird, just chew gum after. But I usually don't eat in the morning much