Do you have funeral awkwardness?

9 Comments

I hate funerals and not just for for the obvious reasons.

I struggle with human emotions and connections, and at funerals I just don’t know what to say. Especially if it was a tragic, unexpected death. In my mind I would just say “I’m so sorry about John” but I never know what to say after. Should you say “let me know if there is anything I could do to help you.” What if someone’s lost their child, what do you say their family?

Attending funerals stresses me out. I know it sounds selfish, but I come from 18 years of being sheltered without connections, so I don’t understand others emotions.

Yes 15
I just go for the food afterwards 6
No 1
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Comments ( 9 )
  • CozmoWank
    5 years ago

    My mom died 4 months ago. It doesn't matter what you say but it means a great deal to people that you cared enough just to show up. I too feel awkward at funerals but my Mother's funeral gave me the view from the other side of things.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      I’m sorry to hear about your loss.

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      • CozmoWank
        5 years ago

        Thanks. But after my experience I don't worry as much about what to say at funerals. It's more important to just show up.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          Thanks for your advice.

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  • McBean
    5 years ago

    Grieving people need special attention. I always feel a bit dishonest extending my condolences. Because when you read about death in the newspaper you think, "What the fuck? People croak. No big deal."

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  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    An ex-wife of mine was terrified of seeing a corpse because she had a morbid fear of being buried alive. That's kind of irrational because by the time the mortician is finished with you you're really dead. We ended up cremating her.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    You dont even have to say anything, two years ago, at my dad’s funeral. I barely spoke. The things that meant the most to me were the relatives that just came over and gave me a hug.
    The thing that made it awkward was when my youth pastor and his wife showed up with a kid from our youth group. Sure we knew him, but not very well. 😐

    Anyways, just showing up means a lot.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    I don't mind funerals. I am honest, and open about my feelings of grief and sadness.

    When my maternal grandfather died back in 2005 I sort of became the unofficial prayer leader in my family when people would die. I'm kinda bummed that my family is now kinda scattered around the country now. I wish we all lived close to each other!

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    I could give you 20 examples of what to say, but that would be pointless. Give condolences and speak from the heart.

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