Does appearance matter more than people admit?

It does in general interactions, like if you just see a good looking person in passing, youre gonna be impressed at a base level ("pretty privilege" is a thing). But in a relationship, a good personality can make average to below average looking guys 'cute'. besides, beauty is more considered to be a feminine thing, so guys can have some ugly features yet still be appealing in their own way.

Appearance matters a lot, especially when it comes to the initial attraction to get your foot in the door but it has considerably less to do with being able to keep a relationship maintained compared to personality and other factors such as financial stability.

This is why shitty people with good looks are going to have a greater pull of potential suiters than an ugly person with a great personality.

If someone says looks don't maintain a relationship they're generally correct but if they say that looks have nothing to do with the pool of people they considered to get to that point then they're generally lying.

"women who say they don’t care about looks are also the ones who talk about a “cute guy they just met”"

And what is wrong about that? This is the problem here. People cling to absolutes whenever someone says something. Someone doesnt care about looks? Therefore every person they date CANT be good looking. And if they find anyone superficially attractive then, bam they're are liars.

It's almost like someone saying "appearance isnt everything" or "I don't care about looks" equates to "I hereby swear to only date someone I find unattractive" and "I'm promise to never find anyone attractive based on looks or appreciate it"

For instance, I often say that looks arent everything for me. But what that implies is: a woman could be drop dead gorgeous and it's still very possible for me to be turned off by her. It means that while looks definitely matter, it's not the sole reason I'll pursue someone. It also implies that I dont subscribe to the modern beauty standard of cosmetic surgeries and skinny bodies. So many women who may be a bit thick and chubby and their goal is to get skinnier and I find them more attractive as they are.

But few years ago I remember having a massive crush on a girl who was super skinny. It was really mostly her face that I found pretty. But also her entire disposition about life, body language, character, voice. Even her skinny body added to the whole package and kind of fit with who she was. Cant think of a good analogy. Anyway, this made me find her skinniness kind of attractive. But oh no. I fell for a skinny chick. I am now a liar arent I? And skinny chicks must be everything for me?

If someone doesn't look friendly I'm not gonna waste time trying to tell them a lame joke, or a story. I mean why do that? Why would you try so hard to impress someone who is obviously not interested in you, and certainly not happy to see you? I don't get it. Hmm...

Appearance is everything for about 5 minutes. But, I can't help you. It is extremely rare that I even get eye contact.

Kinda

I think it's very important, simply because of our biology. we want to find a mate with good genes so our kids have good genes. It's certainly easier, by a landslide if your'e good looking for sure. But it's definitely not a necessity. I feel the looks are what gets them to come to you, personality is why they stay. I will say even if a guy is good looking, if he's a brick wall to talk to girls usually lose interest. same for girls, who cares if she's hot if all she wants to talk about is astrology and highschool drama? I'd rather settle for an average looking girl with an overwhelming personality, i'm sure its the same for girls.

How does thinking someone is cute mean you value looks as really important??? You think they're blind or something??

Looks matter to everyone because everyone has preferences, but when you believe looks doesn't matter as much as other things you may find someone attractive but not be romantically interested in them and you might date someone who physically isn't your regular type and still find them attractive because of their personality and the fact you have chemistry with them.

It matters a lot.