Don't belong here

25% Normal

All my life and I mean all my life I have NEVER felt belonging to this world! It's was so bad that at age 7 I thought the only way home yes home was to kill myself!? I remember looking out a window and then looking at my siblings and father and it just didn't seem right or real? Then I had this awful thought at such a young age 7! I literally remember seeing myself in my mind jumping in front of a bus so I could get out and go home! Life was and still is a coma! I am a complete observer in everything! I analyse everything and contemplate so much! It never stops wish I could switch it off! But can't unfortunately!and nothing has changed since 7 years old now 41! Anyone else the same out in this world?

Voting Results

25% Normal

Based on 8 votes (2 yes)

Feeling Suicidal?

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Comments ( 21 )

Tommythecaty

1 year ago

Why are you yelling?!

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- Hamish81
  
  1 year ago
  
  Sorry I was unaware I was👊
  
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  - Tommythecaty
    
    1 year ago
    
    🤔
    
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normal-rebellious

1 year ago

Er, um, er, um, so you wanna jump out a bus at 41 years old and walk? And you're in a coma, how do you figure? Such things are perfectly normal, it's fine, call the suicide hotline and overcome your problem, I didn't know seeing a phantom of your dad was so bad.

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- Hamish81
  
  1 year ago
  
  Lol am not suicidal at all! I was at 7 years old because everything didn't seem normal to me and never has!?👊🔥❤️
  
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  - normal-rebellious
    
    1 year ago
    
    Yeh, like getting off a bus, fantasising about being 7 years, and being in a coma which in it, ironically I'm alive and breathing isn't normal. You came here for help, talk to the suicide hotline about your 7-year-old suicidal tendencies and tell them that you're happy to live, that's my solution to the problem, accept it.
    
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RoseIsabella

1 year ago

There's a poem by Edgar Allen Poe that you should familiarize yourself with, OP. 😉

https://youtu.be/mVIXU0x9ocI

I remember I was in elementary school the first time I started reading Edgar Allen Poe, and his poem "Alone" was instantly a favorite for me so much so that I memorized, and still have it memorized at the age of 52.

The thing is that you aren't actually alone, there are many like you who have lived, and are still living the struggle. I know I probably sound like a broken record, but I think you should try to get some help.

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JellyBeanBandit

1 year ago

It's just your brain messing up and playing tricks on you. You likely need some medication to put it right, so that you'll feel more present. You should see a doctor about this.

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- Hamish81
  
  1 year ago
  
  I do have PTSD. But I truly don't understand why I have always been this way and never spoken if it to anyone 🤔
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    1 year ago
    
    Maybe you've experienced more than your fair share of trauma in this life, or maybe you're more sensitive than the average person? Perhaps you're struggling with both issues?
    
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  - JellyBeanBandit
    
    1 year ago
    
    Well you've taken the first step in talking about it. You should really talk about it with a doctor next though, people online wouldn't be able to help you. It would help you learn more about the problem and ways to work past it.
    
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    - Hamish81
      
      1 year ago
      
      I understand thank you😊
      
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      - JellyBeanBandit
        
        1 year ago
        
        No problem, good luck :)
        
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1WeirdGuy

1 year ago

What do you do? Do you work?

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- Hamish81
  
  1 year ago
  
  Not anymore for very good reasons. Don't want to get to personal and life👊🔥❤️
  
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  - 1WeirdGuy
    
    1 year ago
    
    That could be why. If you have no direction and feel theres nothing to live for. Its important for humans to have something to do. We been farming for thousands of years and before that hunting. We didnt evolve to sit on a couch and watch tv and play on a phone.
    
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    - bbrown95
      
      1 year ago
      
      Agreed. Those I know with no jobs and little to no responsibilities, and who don't get out much or interact with many people, are the most depressed people I know. I'm currently trying to help a friend out of a similar situation.
      
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      - 1WeirdGuy
        
        1 year ago
        
        We are like ants. I bet if you put an ant in a cage it would be sad af.
        
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      - Hamish81
        
        1 year ago
        
        I agree not been able to work is a terrible thing! But that's not what cases my mindset?
        
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    - Hamish81
      
      1 year ago
      
      I don't use social media or watch TV. I've been this way for as long as I can remember? But I have never spoken of it
      
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      - 1WeirdGuy
        
        1 year ago
        
        Working towards something might help. I know it sounds cheesy but its true.
        
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