Fantasizing about my best friend?

96% Normal

Ive been trying my hardest to ignore my feelings towards her because I cant be gay because of religious reasons, but its getting really hard. I want to be, but I cant because were both girls, our parents wouldn't approve, and our religion prohibits it.
Sometimes I find myself staring at her and getting fuzzy feelings all over. It gets even worse when were cuddling and we end up falling asleep on eachother.
But worst of all are the sexual feelings. All I can do on sleepovers is lay there frustrated and feeling annoying sexual feelings down there. I don't want to stop though because I love cuddling. But even shes admitted she also has feelings and has said she feels sexual sometimes. But we cant do anything at all because were both girls and were not married.
Sometimes I think about her while touching myself too.
Ive talked to mom about it before and she tells me itll pass once i get a man, but that wont happen because im terrified of men. If a guy even fingered me id probably cry. I hate men and they scare me. But im perfectly fine with women.
Im really confused and frustrated.

Voting Results

96% Normal

Based on 26 votes (25 yes)

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Comments ( 42 )

TheShyGirlFromWork

5 years ago

What's more important to you, your happiness, or some ancient religious dogma that you were indoctrinated into at such an early age before you developed critical thinking skills?

I'm gonna take a wild guess, and say that you want to be happy. Here's a news flash... you can be gay, with, or without religion. Just because a religion from thousands of years ago doesn't like it... well, that doesn't make it true that it's "wrong". Sexuality is biological, and someone can be heteralsexual, homosexual, or bi-sexual... and all are perfectly normal.

Follow your feelings, talk to your friend about it, and I hope you find happiness in all you do.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Its from following the bible. I cant just ignore it. I'm only like this because of my defected brain. I just want to know how I can stop feeling this way so I can be happier. I'm not allowed to be gay so sticking with these feelings is just going to make me less happy and lonely. How can I stop feeling this way and get over my fear of most men? I'm just mad that I have to be this way. I wish I was more normal. What can I do?
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    5 years ago
    
    The Bible? Well, I thought you were Muslim, but Christian Fundamentalist are crazy as Hell too. I think you ought to leave that religion or convert to something else when you get older. It's your life, you don't owe it to your parents to keep their religion for your whole life even if they think you do.
    
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  - factcheck
    
    5 years ago
    
    You ARE normal. The people you're surrounded by, the ones who tell you that you're not normal, are the abnormal ones.
    
    You're not going to stop feeling this way. This is who you are. You'll be happier when you embrace your feelings, it's the denying your true self that makes you less happy and lonely.
    
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  - TheShyGirlFromWork
    
    5 years ago
    
    I'm sorry you've been brainwashed (indoctrinated) into believing ancient superstitions... but being gay IS natural... it's just not permitted by ancient Hebrew imaginary friends (gods).
    
    If you go back far enough in history, your religion (and the god of the religion) didn't exist... because it's a made up by ancient middle-eastern desert Men in the bronze-age to give their best explanation of their understanding of the world (which oppresses women). Your religion isn't real. The sooner you escape the shackles of your religion, the better you'll understand that your feelings are a natural biological attraction, and it's normal to act on those feelings.
    
    Do yourself a lifelong favor, research how your religion got started, how your holy book (bible) was put together, and why... and compare it to earlier religions. You'll discover that the bible plagerizes (steals from) other religions.
    
    Go to YouTube and look up The Thinking Atheist, Nonstampcollector, 43Alley, Bionic Dance, Holy Koolaid, Cosmic Skeptic, The Atheist Experience, Essence of Thought, and Rachel Oats. That may get you started to help you have a better understanding.
    
    Your brain is NOT defective, the people who try to convince your of that are; you are not broken, your holy book teachings are; your religion is outdated, and inaccurate.
    
    I wish you the best of luck on your journey through life, and your recovery from religion.
    
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JellyBeanBandit

5 years ago

Well if she makes you happy and you're not harming anyone then why would your God care?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Because its not natural and the bible says its not. I know its not harming anyone, but I'm not supposed to feel this way.
  
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  - JellyBeanBandit
    
    5 years ago
    
    Being gay is natural though, it didn't start with humans. There were gay animals long before humans ever came about, most animal species nowadays have gay members. Even if it wasn't natural though, so what? Flying on an airplane or surfing the internet aren't natural. If we only did things that were natural we'd still be out hunting and gathering with the rest of the animals. So it is natural, and you are supposed to feel this way.
    
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  - factcheck
    
    5 years ago
    
    I'm sorry that you've been so badly mislead about what the bible says by homophobic bigots. I would encourage you to read what the bible actually says instead of listening to people who hate you and want to oppress you.
    
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  - Nickvey
    
    5 years ago
    
    actually the old testament is not christian , thats what the jew believes. thats the law of the Jew. the christian beliefs is people still have sin its just they can be forgiven for the asking. because the sin is paid for in full.
    
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those3simplewords

5 years ago

When you're older your free to make your own decisions and be with a woman as u please ;)

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Poopusher5000

5 years ago

Lick her ass for me. I'd love to be a fly on the wall. Very hot xox

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- [Old Memory]
  
  5 years ago
  
  I would rather be a fly in her ass while getting licked, or even the ass licker myself. Why on the wall? Are u sexually attracted to walls?
  
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  - Poopusher5000
    
    5 years ago
    
    When fuckheads like u r around pal that's where my ass will be against ya faggot fukn dog
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      5 years ago
      
      It was a joke dude.
      
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LegacyRafe

5 years ago

I'm in the same situation except my friend doesn't know about it and my family is ok if i am. Ik that bc my cousin is gay and i come from a very religious family. God forgives. If you trust in him he will do you good. I promise. Ik this and I'm young I'm only 13 but ik from experience. Lost of things have happened in my lifetime and I've learned from them. Trust in god. Trust in yourself. I mean my friend that i have feelings for is asking me for advice to go out with a guy and I'm balling my eyes out. But i trust myself and i trust in God

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HypnoDom

5 years ago

I understand where you're coming from. I was raised in a very conservative christian environment. I was taught that I shouldn't even hold a girl's hand until I got married. Needless to say, in my teenage years I had a lot of guilt about my fantasies of dominating and tying up women. I thought I was going to hell.

It passes.

Over time you gradually start to realize that you aren't actually hurting anyone. You realize those bad feelings aren't almighty God shouting judgment into your heart. It's guilt programmed into you from your culture and upbringing, guilt that people growing up in different families don't have. Your desires are your desires, and there are plenty of people who share the same desires. You probably won't have much luck just shutting them off. Denying and repressing desires rarely ends well.

Try not to give yourself too much pressure now. Maybe down the road you'll end up with another girl. Maybe you'll become more comfortable and attracted to men. Maybe you'll even get in a relationship with your best friend. Who knows? You'll sort things out in your own time. Give yourself that time to figure things out. You're not a wicked evil sinner. You're a good girl that's growing up and trying to figure out her identity.

If it helps, you can nitpick and say that the Bible prohibits men having sex with men.

Find friends you can talk to and feel safe. Try to learn more. I think getting to know people with different perspectives outside of the circle you grew up or went to church with will be quite illuminating. Once you see many different kinds of people, personalities and interests, it's much easier to see who you are.

No matter what you end up doing, I want to tell you that I feel your pain. You have a lot of potential. I'm proud of you for being brave enough to ask for advice. You do what you feel is best for you.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Thank you! :(
  
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  - HypnoDom
    
    5 years ago
    
    I know you're going through a tough time. Hang in there. And if you want someone to talk to, feel free to message me--and again, talk to other supportive people from various social circles! That will help you realize that you are not alone :)
    
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Fetiza000

5 years ago

Don't let your faggy parents stop you from loving who you love. Go home, kill your parents or leave the religion and tell your parents ''go fuck yourselves, religion is gay and there is no God''. Then go ahead and be with whom you love. Doesn't matter what gender they are.

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Uniquegirl54

5 years ago

Aww I feel you. I use to have these feelings for my online friend.

Look if your gay and you are happy with your choice than do it. Whatever makes you happy do it sweetie.

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[Old Memory]

5 years ago

I think you might reconsider your feelings after you get out of that environment. I think your abusive religion makes you hate men because you did not meet good men with a different mentality. This is why you are getting scared by men and attached to women who share your pain. But anyways, you should be free and choose to have sex with women if you want to. What I'd recommend is exiting the toxic environment at all costs, do whatever it takes to get out of there.

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Cliche1234

5 years ago

I wish you can switch your sexual preferences with me.

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Nickvey

5 years ago

its muslims that stone lesbians to death and throw gay men off rooftops . let me think what jesus would do , no better yet i want you to tell me. Anyone pretending to be a christian can answer as well because most people dont have a clue what jesus would do. All they can do is quote some passage from the old jew testament as if thats what a christian believes. be brave , have some balls here people. tell me what jesus would do .

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- [Old Memory]
  
  5 years ago
  
  I can tell you what Black Jesus would do. He would ask for some good ass weed to get stoned while watching it. Got it? Stoned? ahahahaha ok....
  
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EnglishLad

5 years ago

And that, kids, is why religious doctrine is complete shit.

Do what you like, be happy, and fuck what the haters think.

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_confused_

5 years ago

Leave Christianity

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RoseIsabella

5 years ago

What religion are you?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Id rather not say
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    5 years ago
    
    Why?
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      5 years ago
      
      That means islam in case you didn't get it.
      
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        5 years ago
        
        I'm a Christian
        
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        [Old Memory]
        
        5 years ago
        
        I remember how my Christian father wouldn't give me any freedom and try to break every piece of happiness I have or every relationship I try to build with women. I can say it's trash and I became irreligious right after leaving home or even before.
        
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        5 years ago
        
        Yeah, I know, I just wanted to hear the kid say it. Yanno? Honestly, I understand why a girl would be so protective of such a shitty, false and misogynistic religion.
        
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        factcheck
        
        5 years ago
        
        If she was a Muslim, it wouldn't be the religion she's protecting, it'd be herself. White people don't like Muslims, in case you haven't noticed.
        
        But in other posts she talks about the bible, so some form of Christianity is the shitty, false and misogynistic religion that she's protecting.
        
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        [Old Memory]
        
        5 years ago
        
        Because she is afraid. Because she is tortured. Because she is brainwashed. Islam gained power by force and it doesn't not represent people's true will. It forces people to stay there and to act accordingly in order to survive and propagate. If islam let its guard down, most people would leave it and it would vanish, so leaders' interests are no longer protected. It's the same shit as communism.
        
        Edit: Oh srry I mistread as "I don't understand" instead of "I understand".
        
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      People can be judgmental
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        5 years ago
        
        Well, perhaps when you get on your own you should find a different religion. I hope that your family aren't the sort who believe in honor killings, or are ignorant enough to believe that they have the right to punish you for dishonoring them.
        
        I don't know how old you are, but you should do your best to study hard so that you can be successfull and independent.
        
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Nickvey

5 years ago

what ever

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  ??
  
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  - Nickvey
    
    5 years ago
    
    well its like you are bitching about your own beliefs . who would do that?
    
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Are You Normal?

Fantasizing about my best friend?