Feeling uncomfortable when someone speaks with a soft voice

69% Normal
21 Comments

I have a few co-workers at the school I work at in Japan, and some of the female teachers have this kind of whispering, soft voice that they speak, I don&t know if its that voice tone, the seemingly forced smile when they speak that way, or the combination of both but something about it makes me feel uncomfortable when they speak that way. Is this normal? Thanks.

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 16 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • Boojum
    2 years ago

    Isn't it a Japanese cultural thing that women are supposed to speak very softly? If you're not Japanese, maybe you finding it uncomfortable is simply a culture-clash thing.

    Also, talking like that can be a power-play: the speaker is forcing the listener to pay very close attention. So maybe that's what irks you.

    I find it annoying too, but I'm an old git who basically really doesn't give a shit what others think of me, so I don't hesitate to tell people that my hearing ain't what it used to be, and I'd appreciate it if they spoke up.

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    • speedmetal8666
      2 years ago

      It could be but it's not ALL of them that speak this way, a small minority in fact. Most of them just speak naturally and normally. In fact my mom (who's not Japanese) would try this super soft style of speech when I was upset, and it only made me feel worse. It's not the hearing or lack of, I just can't put my finger on it.

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  • Whatintarnation
    2 years ago

    I'm like deaf from power tools and air guns so I get annoyed when people are quiet. Speak up like you have a pair or lady pair whatever.

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  • hauntedbysandwiches
    2 years ago

    I'm soft spoken when in a professional setting and normal spoken when I'm not I can't help it lol. People say I sound like a softer version of Scarlett Johansson's voice though so I'm sure it's not annoying as men tell me that constantly.

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  • ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet
    2 years ago

    A soft spoken voice makes me sleepy.

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  • kikilizzo
    2 years ago

    I talk that way and most likely because i'm anxious in public.
    That and I just have a soft voice in general and due to being autistic I dont really register my own tone so usually I speak so quietly people have to keep asking me what i'm saying lol.
    I know a man with ADHD and he's the polar opposite, talks extremely loudly at all times even if it's a very private conversation so you have to tell him to tone it down.
    Can't really help it. If I tried to force a louder voice i'd probably end up half-yelling instead.

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    • speedmetal8666
      2 years ago

      I can get someone being anxious or something like that, sure. One of the co workers speaks a bit childlike and that kind of gets to me. The other speaks sounds a bit comfortable but she speaks very slowly (which is NOT a sign of anxiety) and with a fake smile (I could just tell its fake), and that combo I think I am also finding quite irritating. But if you're just super shy and anxious I can get that.

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  • Tinybird
    2 years ago

    I speak like that and people constantly tell me to speak up.

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  • bbrown95
    2 years ago

    For some reason, that has always grated on my nerves. I don't know why, but I can't stand super soft spoken, almost mumbly/whimpery talk (and I have even less tolerance if it is combined with baby talk, coming from someone way too old to be talking like that!).

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    • 1WeirdGuy
      2 years ago

      Fat girls do the baby talk alot idk why. Anytime im on discord and some chic sounds like a fairy im thinkin shes fat.

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      • Boojum
        2 years ago

        Maybe it's not put-on, and it's actually due to the compression of their vocal chords by the rolls of fat around their neck.

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      • litelander8
        2 years ago

        I’m 2 weeks from my due date and I breath so heavy now, you can hear my coming from half a mile away. Lol. I’ve never sounded like a fat chick.

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        • 1WeirdGuy
          2 years ago

          Are you in a constant rage like my wife?

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          • litelander8
            2 years ago

            I mean my bf is always arguing with me. I really just wish he would say “yes ma’am” and fuck off. But everyone else brings me joy. Lol. I do have a shorter fuse with customers though but I think that just the lack of whiskey.

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            • 1WeirdGuy
              2 years ago

              Trust me, its really hard on the guy too. You wouldnt think it would be but its energy draining and stressful. Cant wait until we have the baby.

              Everytime I walk in the door I already know its gonna be constant complaining and constant sighing and then ontop of that theres the pregnancy anger. Its exhausting when everytime you interact with someone its a negative experience and you walk away feeling a worse mood than before. But shes been trying to have a baby for 5 years now so its like a 5 year pregnancy.

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      • hauntedbysandwiches
        2 years ago

        Really? I usually find they have deeper thick voices because their throats sound closed up.

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    • girlinadarkcorner
      2 years ago

      My boss used to tell me to use my yelling voice when talking to customers because my normal speaking voice was too quiet and I didn't even realize how soft spoken I actually was

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    • Iambillythemenacetosociety
      2 years ago

      I can deal with soft spoken people but people that talk like a little kid never fail to irritate me.

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      • speedmetal8666
        2 years ago

        Oh yeah, that is exactly how one of the co workers spoke.

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        • Iambillythemenacetosociety
          2 years ago

          Can't imagine how annoying that that is.

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