Fiance's family is against me

Your fiancé should start sticking up for you too. Make him understand how truly terrible it is for you to be around them. You can love the person they made him to be without loving them.

Don't marry this one, honey.

I would almost be more mad at my fiance than his parents. He should take up for you 100% if he really loves you.

When you marry someone, you're also marrying their family. Sometimes that works out wonderfully for all involved. Sometimes that doesn't matter much if the person you're marrying recognises that his or her family is screwed up and they limit contact or avoid it altogether. But money problems and in-law tensions are probably the two biggest causes of stress in the early years of marriage. If one of the people feels constantly torn between being loyal and supportive to their spouse, or continuing to play whatever role the family they grew up with believes they should, things can become very messed up.

I obviously know little about your fiancé's family, but what you do say makes it sound toxic. However, this is not just about your relationship with your in-laws to-be, and I think you'd be wise to think very carefully about marrying the guy. For most people, what they see going on between their parents as they grow up forms their mental model of how relationships should work, and we all have a tendency to slip into the roles we saw enacted by the parent of our sex.

Maybe your fiancé has done enough work to move beyond the poor model provided by his father, but you should be aware that he might just slip into that way of behaving when stressed.

The fact that your fiancé isn't willing to stick up for you is also a red flag, since it suggests his is a family with an autocratic father who expects to have his outbursts tolerated, and it's also a family where anyone else's feelings are not discussed, and no dissent or disagreement is permitted.

If your fiancé doesn't recognise that his family's dynamic is not healthy and he's one of those guys who insists on spending a lot of time with them because that's what is expected of him, then I think you should consider very carefully whether you want to get hitched to this guy and become entangled with his family.

that's not good and i'm glad you and your parents know that you deserve better. your fiance should stand up to them and you shouldn't have to talk to him about it but it sounds like you guys need to have that conversation.

Tl;dr Boojums personal novel aside... if you have have no obvious issues with yourself, insist your partner curtail his busy body parents.