Food and dominance

I was at work, and this guy gave me a weird look for eating a banana, so I affected a very gay expression, and started eating it in a very sexy manner in order to mess with him. He walked off, came back with a huge pickle, and proceeded to simulate oral sex on the thing. He shoved the whole thing in his mouth and pulled it out again, I mean, I was just fooling around, but I'm positive that this guy has sucked an actual dick before. He keeps doing this, almost like he's trying to throw me off guard so that he can have the break room to himself, but I've decided that I have to stand my ground and find some way to defeat him. It's going to be hard, because I'm pretty sure he's an experienced dick sucker, he's got premium sausage-slobbering lips, a mouth large enough to contain a beach ball, and a respiratory system like a vacuum cleaner. Hopefully, my boss or someone doesn't see this.