For my bf to look at other girls on facebook and masturbate to them?

Okay everybody, let me level the playing field. First off, let me say that i just turned 25 and have been porn free for a month, and it is DAMN hard. I will post things from both the guys side and the girls.

Guys:
Studies have been shown that a girl's body is more attractive than a man's, the studies have been done with male and female audiences. This is why there are so many Ms America, Ms Universe or, just plainly stated, girl beauty pageants. Even in highschool there is the homecoming queen where it is about beauty, the king needs to be popular and masculine (any wonder why action heroes are viewed as "sexy"?).
Anyways, guys go nuts over naked girls. We see boobs or vagina and immediately we subconsciously or consciously think she is ready and willing to have sex. With the internet and free porn, this is too much for us to handle. I know, ive been there with 100's to 1,000's of pictures. I thought it was wrong to look at pics of girls I knew, but SOMETIMES I did just because the girl emphasized what she had (huge boobs in a LOW cut shirt or bikini top with tons of cleavage for instance).

Girls:
When you are single and looking, what do you normally do? Every single day you dress to KILL before you leave the house. If you cared only for your guy, you would ask him what he likes before you started getting ready and stuck with that. You would also take his opinion instead of constantly adjusting what you have to make sure everything looks perfect. But no, you wanna look "cute" (as you all say). Why? Because you want guys to find you attractive, you crave the attention and hope that you can find the perfect guy by luring him with your beauty (deep down you should know this to be true).
Now, it is a double standard because you dress up to get attention, but then you hate knowing that others are getting attention and not you. If you think for one second that you only want to keep the attention of your guy, imagine if you were single with your friends and you all went out. Imagine all of your friend were hit on, but no one is checking you or or flirting with you. Suddenly you feel worthless because you aren't "as pretty" as everyone else.
Look at every mall, there are probably 50 clothing stores where
about 40 of them are girls only, 5 stores are guys only and the other 5 are guys and girls. Obviously girls are the main shoppers, and there are always "cute clothes", yes, cute clothes that accentuate your body and make you look desireable. Manis, pedis, up-dos, you name it, but 95% of those who get those are girls.

The world expects men to be strong, reliable, popular, and successful. Girls dont want a 100% "meathead", a basement dwelling genius, broke guy, or a perfect man in all ways except being faithful.

The world expects women to be pretty. Most guys will put up with everything wrong with a girl, at least for a short time, as long as she is pretty.

In other words, men are programmed to long for a girls beauty, and girls are programmed to do everything necessary to find a man that can take care of her and give her a family.

Thats why 50 shades of gray is so popular with girls, the guy is hot, super rich, owns a company, is very popular, is loyal and very dominant (strong). But it is all fantasy.

Thats also why guys are obsessed with porn, many many girls naked (or very close to it) in seductive poses or even having sex. Thats where our brains go crazy. With "real life girls" it is a conscious or sub conscious hope that the smiling, poses or outfits she is wearing is for us or will be for us. We think she may be insinuating that she wants us now or may want us soon. We just replace the camera person with us. Its all fantasy, but we are crazy with it because we see it too much with every ad on tv, every suggested facebook friend, every sidebar ad, every magazine, or every real life encounter of a sexy girl in a very revealing/accentuating outfit.

You cat get too mad at us guys, you will just push us away, the problem will never be solved and every guy you meet will be struggling with their addiction. Reward them when they abstain for a short period. Reward them more when they can abstain longer. Start small like 1-3 days, slowly add more time. Hopefully they will give it up completely AND be honest about it, cuz it messes with our brains and our dicks. If they are younger than 40 and cant get a ROCK hard erection within a day or two, thats a sign of addiction. This while ED epidemic doctors keep talking about is most likely due to porn as well as the softer versions of porn like bikini models and such. Sad, but true. But porn isnt going anywhere, so heed my advice or die bitter.

There's your problem - you seem to think that what he masturbates to has anything to do with you.

Porn and masturbation are neutral, like eating a sandwich.

As long as he's not jerking off to a live partner (cyber sex etc) then it's not cheating.

If this affects your esteem... that's a personal issue

Well, im the only guy to end up commenting on this page so I will just say its normal. Hes just wants to see very hot girls, just like every other guy. Because he has you, he probably doesnt do it as much as he did, but he is right, every guy does it. And to those out there who say their boyfriend doesnt do it, I guarentee they do. Its just a fact of life.

It's disrespectful to you. Watch your back around him or break up with him. You deserve better. Not every man is like that. Allot of them are faithful while some aren't.

I too am going through the same thing. My boyfriend of 3 years has been adding mass amounts of women to his facebook page, he claims it is for mafia wars, i catch him creeping on their photos all the time, girls barely in clothes, big boobs etc etc, its starting to hurt real bad, ive addressed the issue twice now and i get yelled at saying atleast im not physically cheating on you, but i dont go browsing facebook for hot men, so i cant relate, the fact that these are real women, hurts so bad. Im told i blow it out of proportion, he promises over and over it wont happen again and it continually does. Just this morning he promised to delete them all of his facebook, i checked he still has over 150 women added on there. We have 3 kids, i feel stuck, im so unhappy :(

you deserve better, real love is a sexual attraction to you and you only. I do feel porn is like watching tv and not harmful unless he's watching it everyday. he shouldnt be interested in 'real' girls. u should be his only sexy lady in reality and fantasy

I am in a similar situation. Recently I found my boyfriend looking up 'real girls' on the internet, the girls who sell themselves on craigslist.. We have been going out for almost a year now.. and when I found out, I just lost it. I am extremely insecure and I just cant handle not feeling good enough for him. And he never communicates with me so I just feel like he doesnt care about my feelings. And he swears he is in love with me but IF YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE YOU DONT FIND OTHER PEOPLE ATTRACTIVE.. I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS, ITS 100%% TRUE.

OMG.OMG.OMG.OMG. Please read my whole comment,please. Me and my boyfriend of over a year had a HUGE fight over this. He use to let me use his laptop,one day I got curious AS DOES EVERY GIRLFRIEND, & trusting him that I did, (Like an idiot)I found a folder FILLED with pictures of tons and tons of girls from our high school pictures of them in their bikinis, or boobs hanging out.. or them being sluts. I got so upset I cried. I never told him.. that whole month I acted very strange toward him so he asked me & I confronted & he said he knew because I deleted them .. he was so angry and said every guy does that. I said no. Not true, that's sick & that means you have a problem. Seriously. He said fine & deleted them... now just now, he ran upstairs & I checked his laptop for the first time in forever & again.. same folder,even more pictures.. I'm disgusted & so depressed about this. I can not deal with this in a relationship. We have sex everyday more then once but he still everytime I leave the house (We're in college now) he opens up their pictures and masturbates to them, I can't.. I would like to talk to you actually.. I need someone who can relate to me..

All else I can say is at least you asked him about it and not took it out on him other ways

I agree Porn is ok! But masturbating to women with clothes on is very disturbing! It makes you wonder what really goes through their head all day long and what they think about while around other people. I personally save the sex for the bedroom that is just the way I have always been, I am a very busy person all day and dedicated to what I do, honestly nonstop work, sometimes I need to pace myself.. anyway, I find this disturbing and unfortunately don't think there's much you can do about it, it seems it's just the way most "guys" are and seems to be turning that way towards females these days as well

i have been with my boyfriend almost 4 years we have gone through so much together , ups an downs of course we have 1 child together , when we first started dateing he was non stop talking to this girl witch was a female friend before we even meet her brother was working with him so she would always go in an grab lunch we have a massive fights because he new how i felt but he didn't take it for anything he lied to about talking to her ,once i got this feeling i saw on Facebook he mail her saying hey cutie i said to him wtf an had more fights i keep asking lets all do something he would say yes but ever do it ,when i was pregnant an 2 nights before still talking we had a fight we broke up we had couple weeks apart i went over his house we cryed an spoke about being together i was crying he got out of the room an said important going to my mates house so he did wiles ill was upset he saw the same girl to get advice from her we got back together 3 weeks after one year after he promised to never speak to her again ,then he had new work dented to add his female coworkers on fb ,then i starting going through his phone again porn was there hidden i would always indeed different ones i would ask him an there will be big fights he says no i didn't no it an shit ,couple months later still doing the same shit .then he said i am deleting Facebook so he did then told me don't go back on there it will activate it ,then a girl pope up he was talking to her i told her to piss off ,she did so there for he lied again couple months later i saw photos of girls with fake boobs on his fb , then he stated to look at girls in cars,shopping ,ennywere went we had a talk he said no babe i didn't i wonder everyday y he did an im not perfect for him that's y he looked at other young woman one time a girl walled passed he looked i watched him i asked he said yes i did we got over it then we had a real talk about everything he said i look at girls ,i said y do you compare them to me he said yes but personaliy i short funk this stupid dick i mean after all the shit we have Been through were still together but were a family & he needs to be a man,father not a stupid dick boy & i think now he relies he could lose his daughter an me

y'all LaDiEs DeSeRvE BERRA

Hello, that's so cool that you asked this cause it shows that you are willing to not assume things :)
People that do not assume things, but ask for advice and listen to and for wise counsel, are the most blessed people because they are always able to progress in life and are generally more successful at finding self satisfaction.

Nowhere opinion doesn't matter cause I'm one of those horrible guys that have spent many hours upon hours looking at porn.

I'm married.

Two years now.

Just had a baby three weeks ago and omg I love her so much. She's the most amazing little creature I've ever laid eyes on, I wish I could show you a picture, it's amazing. But I looked at a lot of porn just tonight. I'm at work. Wife's home breast feeding, giving all that amazing girl has to her daughter. Im 31, she's 21 on the 7th. I got so lucky, she's beautiful, and so down to earth, it's a crazy story of how we met.
I had given up.
I was born in 1981 and lived in a super religious minded environment. Jesus and the word of god (the bible, if somehow you don't know that, sarcasm off) were the only things that we kids were exposed to. I wasn't explained or communicated about sexuality or allowed to hang out with girls much because we all knew guys touching girls was bad and wrong. So they didn't give us the opportunity.
Year by year my fascination with girls grew. In kindergarten I remember seeing Rachel on the first day of class, and I remember my five year old head thinking ad body wanting to feel we body next to mine. Oh....the thought of if i could just get to touch her hair, gave this little boy such desire for her that a deep crush was formed. Then the Britney Spears era hit and we were suddenly surrounded by sexuality and pastors didn't know what to do so they said stupid things that they didn't understand like, "A man who masterbates, is a homosexual, because he's having sexual intercourse with a man" -Rev James Larson, San Diego, Cal.

Rediculous, and sad.

At the age of 7, I was laying in bed, now remember, I didn't know what a condom was, I didn't know what sex was, other than I knew we came from it, but not much more.
I lay there and started rubbing myself with my hand and the pressure of the mattress. After a couple seconds the most amazing thing happened, I experienced my first orgasm. It's was the most amazing feeling that shook my body, mind and soul. I didn't feel guilt because I didnt know what ha happened other than it was so cool.
I asked my dad about it and he said that's why my brother shakes his bed every night and won't knock it off. Please understand, these two masterbatory, sick twisted boys that just wanted to cum, were two innocent, well raised, god fearing boys.
And we jerked the turkey.
Spanked the monkey.
Drained the lizard.
I don't think Ive missed more than three or so days, since the day I first got off, and that only happened a couple times, and now I'm 31 so go do the math.

Oh wait, if your a girl reading this, that hates men because of our inability to be only attracted to you, don't do the math, cause I can assure you, you suck at math.

My wife has endured the pain of watching me have sex with her will looking at porn.

Hang me.

It was the most amazing gift a guy could ever get.

Ladies, those of you who are willing to listen to reason. I love you! Women are amazing when they aren't blinded by inaccurate thoughts.
Just like us men right?

Women do not hate men for being attracted to other women.

They hate when their man isn't attracted to them anymore.

That's the downside of porn.

It is not harmless.

It's a great enemy of our male/female connection.

But it's not men who are the problem any more than its the fault of women.

It's society that is perverted. Not you. Not me. We are simply victims who have fallen into this great magnet of lust.

Women give it. We eat it.

Just like the apple.

She gave it. He ate it.

We're still doin the same thing today, in a greater sense.

Map of the human genome?

One of them for sure.

I want to give up porn now, just cause I want to see my wife's beauty once more.

No one woman can compete with all women.

It must be you're patience and understanding that helps you guide your man to love you for the rest of his life.

If you can't help him with that, you'll end up like all the bitter women posting hate for us and going home lonely at night to their dog and tea. Vegan bitches.

Don't be a vegan bitch. They smell funny.

Love you girl, and I'm sorry for the pain we men give, we don't know how much we hurt you.

I'm pretty sure ur bf posted on here about how he does this lol

It is not normal. Today's society has oversexualized everything!!! This is why we have this problem. The point of the matter is that technically it is cheating!!! In the bible it says somewhere that even if you look at another woman with lust in your eyes, then you are committing adultery. So many men nowadays reject religion anyway. That could be for different reasons. Many, unfortunately, and deliberately want to be known as " bad" and tough without understanding that nobody else really cares. It's putting on a show for themselves in their own screwed psycho world. You cannot change a person. Just go after the person who is good and will be loyal to you ONLY. For some women, it may mean divorce and for others unmarried, it may mean secretly dating other men to find someone better. Because it sounds like most of these men would prefer that you not talk about this with them or confront them in any way, shape, or form. They are not allowing the conversation to take place and are often unwilling to compromise. So, if they don't want " an argument". Go out find someone new. His loss. A cheap thrill just means more to him than a loving relationship with all the perks.

Same thing, kind of happened to me, ill never forget the feeling, if u ask someone to stop doing something you are uncomfortable with, and they wont, piss them off, simple, unfortunately my aggravation got that bad it turned ugly, but I still have my dignity

And YES it was girls I knew & saw everyday in school.. how sick I wouldn't care I told him if it was Porn because that's fake & it's porn but he doesn't understand that... I just can't... I feel like I'm at my breaking point.

I appreciate this. I had. wanted to know how normal it was or just to put my mind at rest that my boyfriend still found me attractive (I'm pregnant and after finding skankishly dressed women on my boyfriends Ipod it broke my heart.) After reading the male perspective of this i suppose i could be a bit more understanding. We spend every hour not at work together so i know he doesn't have time to wank it, I suppose he just likes looking at them.. We have sex often but I've been feeling pretty fat and ugly lately and its been a punch in the
gut since i was used to being the pretty one, finding the pictures seemed like a confermation of that. I'm depressed over it but i can't blame him. I just wish he wouldn't save the pictures... Stupid skinny big boobed bitches :(

That's sick.u should talk to him so he can stop if not sooner or later u wil break up