Ask Your Question today
Then drive them home drunk in the minivan not too far away maybe 5 miles local roads only. I can't stand watching the games.
Id imagine you'd have to be pretty drunk to sit through something like that. There's no way they're actually good at soccer, so you're basically just watching kids run into each other.
You need to do better than just "getting drunk" and driving on the wrong side of the road in a speeding minivan with unbuckled children thumping about inside the trunk.
What about getting blitzed enough to join the game? You can show them how it's done, preferably whilst pushing small children out of the way & punting the ball at full force into the goalies face...and what about that referee? I don't like his attitude. You should show him who's the real boss...and those other parents, all smug with their ethanol free Starbucks cups. You should just slap those on the ground as soon as you get there to establish dominance.
You can't just expect the world to provide you with fun. You have to make your own. I believe in you.
Not okay! Do not drive your kids home drunk! And for what its worth, it is also illegal!
It's not normal to drive drunk under any circumstances. I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm certainly not a soccer fan at all.
Driving and drinking do not mix. Doesn't matter how well you know your car, or the roads you drive.
There could be oil, or an animal, or person crossing the road, or someone cutting you off. Something can happen and when you're drunk and it happens, you won't be quick enough to react properly and fuck up your life and your children's lives.
I can imagine how boring school sports days are... Watching children run into each other, pretending to be athletes...
I'd want a bottle of strong booze too, but don't...
Play with your phone, talk, or annoy other parents (as many are stuck up) for fun, or just wait it out. But don't endanger your kids health.
Tho I gotta say, I'm thankful we don't got this shit in Europe. Only if your kids are really good at sports and go to proper events with prizes, it becomes mandatory for the sake of morale boost for you to be there. The sports stuff that happens in schools is not important, or relevant to anyone.
See if you can fight with some of the other dads, or put some money on the game, that should liven it up.
National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration statistics show that more than half of all collisions in the USA occur within a 5-mile radius of the driver's home, and around 70% occur within 10 miles.
You clearly believe that you know the roads so well that you can safely drive them drunk with a pack of howling little soccer-gibbons crashing around in the back, but that sort of complacency is exactly what leads to a huge number of accidents.
If you hate your kids as much as you hate soccer, carry on.
However, if you're transporting other people's kids, you might want to check your insurance policy to see what cover you'll have if you're DUI and involved in an accident. If you live in the USA, I can easily imagine you being sued out of your home and half of your earnings for the rest of your life if your idiocy leads to the death or disability of some other soccer-parent's kid.